Seek Ye First

2 Chronicles 15:2...and if you seek Him, He will let you find Him, but if you forsake Him, He will forsake you…. Isaiah 55:6 …seek the LORD while He may be found, call upon Him while He may be found, Call upon Him while He is near…Let the wicked forsake his way, and the unrighteous man his thoughts and let him return to the LORD and He will have compassion on Him…1 Chronicles 22:19...now set your heart and your soul to seek the LORD your God…Isaiah 65: 1 I permitted myself to be sought by those who did not ask for me…Proverbs 8:17 …I love those who love me, and those who diligently seek me will find me…Psalm 119:2 How blessed are those who observe His testimonies, who seeks Him with all their heart
Psalm 24: 6 This is the generation of those who seek Him…
When Elijah fled to Horeb in I Kings 19, he lamented that the children of Israel had forsaken the covenant and that He alone was left. He felt desperate and wished to die. King Solomon, Jeremiah, Job all in moments of desperation made statements that if they were read alone, out of context, could lead a person to believe all sorts of things … David wrote Psalm 14 in desperation, it seemed as if the whole world had turned against God. Paul quotes that verse to Jews who would have known the context of it, and who were in a rather “self-righteous” mood. Ecclesiastes 3:11 He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, without which man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning. Hebrews 11:6 for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who seek HIM. If there are verses in the Bible that seem to contradict, then we need to look deeper, for the connection, for the truth, and through the Holy Spirit we will find it. Through the Words I have read, the teachings I have heard, and the experiences of my life and the lives of others, I have come to the conclusion, that each person is born with a hunger, a longing for Spiritual Truth. That was put into their hearts by their creator, who is longing for every man, not just a few elect, but for every man to find the Way, the Truth and the Life…He calls to us all. He never stops calling. But the coming…the answering of the call, or rejecting it, is up to us.

Just a Note

Because it is 12:34, and my students are testing - poor dears.
Ingrid on Slice and my hubby, Pastor Art on Temple Corners agree with each other concerning the "meaning" behind Katrina. And although I'm more merciful than prophetic or judgemental (which Prophets often are called to be) I have to agree...
This is a dark world we are living in, and these are critical times.
Lord, have mercy on the innocent, protect the people who are trying to help in this time of crisis,
and forgive those, called by Your name, for our indifference, inaction, and self-centeredness.

We Do Not Have To Move

Questions

I don't really have time for this but...
Here are a few comments, statements, questions that have come to my attention lately...
Considering John's beautiful - poetic explaination of the incarnation in John 1, and his statement in Revelation that "His name is the Word of God" could it be that the Word of God mentioned elsewhere in the New Testament is actually refering to the person - Jesus Christ?
Keep in mind that when Paul wrote to Timothy about all Scripture is God Breathed - he was talking about the Old Testament, and perhaps, he was even including everything to Second Machabees...
And is it possible for a person to be saved if that person has never heard or read any of the Bible? If we are saved by faith (the word alone is not in the orignal texts - added by Luther)
anyway, If we are saved by faith, and faith comes by hearing, and hearing by the word of God (what does that little word "by" mean?) then what if someone only heard the story, and not the actual "Word of God" ie the Bible?
And if we are saved by faith alone, but Faith without works is dead, can dead faith save?
gotta go to work...good thing I only live 3 mintues away!

Dance with Me

my whole blogging experience began when I read an "anti-emergent" post somewhere out there that mentioned open theism, stating that the open theist believed that we were in some kind of Dance with the Lord, where he led us and we chose to follow...something like that. I liked the way it sounded, but alas, that belief was defined as heresy.
my friend Bobbie just sent me this piece. i have read it before, and gave a copy of it to the members of the dance team i am on...thought this might be a good time to post it here too...
Dancing With God


When I meditated on the word Guidance,

I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word.

I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing.

When two people try to lead, nothing feels right.

The movement doesn't flow with the music,

and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky.

When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead,

both bodies begin to flow with the music.

One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back

or by pressing lightly in one direction or another.

It's as if two become one body,

moving gracefully & beautifully.

The dance takes surrender, willingness,

and attentiveness from one person

and gentle guidance and skill from the other.


My eyes drew back to the word Guidance

When I saw "G": I thought of God, followed by "u" and "I".

"God, "u" and "I" dance."

God, you, and I dance.

As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust

that I would get guidance about my life

Once again, I became willing to let God lead.

My prayer for you today is that God's blessings

and mercies be upon you on this day and everyday.

May you abide in God as God abides in you.

Dance together with God, trusting God to lead

and to guide you through each season of your life.


Thanks Bobbie

Check new story on Dawn is Coming

A Can of Worms

use to be a section of the inner city express way in Rochester NY called the "Can of Worms".
that's not what I talking about although I have been feeling sort of "home sick" lately. thank the LORD for the wonderful world of blogging which has reconnected me with some dear old friends (and one dear young one) from home.
in some of my blogging, i have encountered a few "facts" that intreguied me, and in some cases troubled me. since i have found myself in a whirlwind of anti catholic, anti reformed, post modern and emergent words, i have posed a few questions to which i am getting no clear answers. i never thought much of martin luther, until the movie about him was shown in a "small group" and he was proclaimed a great hero. one thing i heard from the anti reformed camp was that luther took out the apocrypha from the Bible. i had believed that this was done back in 400AD or so. for those people out there who rally under the Sola Scriptura banner, shouldn't that be a disturbing thing, worth looking into. ofcourse - and this really disturbs me - depending on who and what you choose to read, you can prove or disprove just about anything. there are and have been sincere Biblical scholars who have proclaimed and "proven" contradictory doctrines. So I run back to the words of Paul, to the Corinthians - And if I have the gift of prophecy and know all mysteries and all knowledge and if I have all faith so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing (means that one can have those things and still be nothing in the eyes of the LORD)...and to the Galatians, nothing means anything save faith working through love. Having said that (and here comes the can of worms) I lifted these words from a Catholic site concerning the apocrypha -
9) Protestantism, following Martin Luther, removed the deuterocanonical books from their Bibles due to their clear teaching of doctrines which had been recently repudiated by Protestants, such as prayers for the dead (Tobit 12:12, 2 Maccabees 12:39-45 ff.; cf. 1 Corinthians 15:29), intercession of dead saints (2 Maccabees 15:14; cf. Revelation 6:9-10), and intermediary intercession of angels (Tobit 12:12,15; cf. Revelation 5:8, 8:3-4). We know this from plain statements of Luther and other Reformers.
10) Luther was not content even to let the matter rest there, and proceeded to cast doubt on many other books of the Bible which are accepted as canonical by all Protestants. He considered Job and Jonah mere fables, and Ecclesiastes incoherent and incomplete. He wished that Esther (along with 2 Maccabees) "did not exist," and wanted to "toss it into the Elbe" river.
11) The New Testament fared scarcely better under Luther's gaze. He rejected from the New Testament Canon ("chief books") Hebrews, James ("epistle of straw"), Jude and Revelation, and placed them at the end of his translation, as a New Testament "Apocrypha." He regarded them as non-apostolic. Of the book of Revelation he said, "Christ is not taught or known in it." These opinions are found in Luther's Prefaces to biblical books, in his German translation of 1522.
http://ic.net/~erasmus/RAZ110.HTM

so?????

Thanks DJ for another good one...

In the light of some of the things going on in my blog world, I think this message is very timely. Be blessed!
The Heart
"Tomorrow morning," the surgeon began,"I'll open up your heart...""You'll find Jesus there," the boy interrupted. The surgeon looked up, annoyed "I'll cut your heart open," he continued, to see how much damage has been done...""But when you open up my heart, you'll find Jesus in there," said the boy.The surgeon looked to the parents, who Sat quietly. "When I see how much damage has been done, I'll sew your heart and chest back up, and I'll planwhat to do next.""But you'll find Jesus in my heart. The Bible says He lives there. The hymns all say He lives there. You'll find Him in my heart."The surgeon had had enough. "I'll tell you what I'll find in your heart I'll find damaged muscle, low blood supply, and weakened vessels.And I'll find out if I can make you well.""You'll find Jesus there too. He lives there."The surgeon left.
Later, the surgeon sat in his office, recording his notes from the surgery,"...damaged aorta, damaged pulmonary vein, widespread muscledegeneration.No hope for transplant, no hope for cure. Therapy: painkillers and bedrest. Prognosis:, "here he paused, "death within one year."He stopped the recorder, but there was more to be said. "Why?" he asked aloud."Why did You do this? You've put him here; You've put him in this pain;andYou've cursed him to an early death. Why?"The Lord answered and said, "The boy, My lamb, was not meant for your flock for long, for he is a part of My flock, and will forever be. Here,i n My flock, he will feel no pain, and will be comforted as you cannot imagine. His parents will one day join him here, and they will know peace, and My flock will continue to grow."The surgeon's tears were hot, but his anger was hotter. "You created the boy, and You created that heart. He'll be dead in months. Why?"The Lord answered, "The boy, My lamb, shall return to My flock, for He has Done his duty: I did not put My lamb with your flock to lose him, but to retrieve another lost lamb."The surgeon wept.. The surgeon sat beside the boy's bed; the boy's parents sat across from him. The boy awoke and whispered, "Did you cut open my heart?""Yes," said the surgeon."What did you find?" asked the boy."I found Jesus there," said the surgeon.
Author Unknown - Celebrate Jesus in 2005

It's Not About Me

Oh heavenly Father, I am so sorry for indulging in these pointless pity parties. And I am sorry too, for letting the arguements and debates get in the way of my serving you, worshiping you, living for you! This is not about me, not at all. It is about families whose homes have been stolen from them by their own people. It's about little children fighting for their lives in hospitols all over the world, and moms and dads trying to be brave. It's about a brand new baby girl, and the family that loves her, and grandmas who are feeling too old to walk another step. It's about those "Glonni's" at the market begging for quarters. How many quarters does it take to buy a pint? It's about those handsome young warriors in my classroom who are so angry, and those lovely princesees who have to put up with their nonsense. And I will leave my classroom in a few minutes, hoping that I don't run out of gas on the way home, but its only a two mile walk if I do. I will leave my classroom and hope that my grandkids are at my house waiting for me. I will leave my classroom and take a deep breath of awe when I see the sky, the clouds, the messas and the bluffs that are Shiprock, New Mexico, the mountains in the distance and the trees growing along the river. Oh, Heavenly Father, creator of the Universe. Thank You!

Galatians 5

Galatians 5:7 “You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth?” The Pastor mentioned this verse Sunday. Who has bewitched you, you were running the good race, who has caused you to stop. I found these verses earlier this summer, when revisiting the fruits of the spirit...this is what I posted back then:
The acts of the sinful nature vs. the fruit of the Spirit. I began at the beginning of the chapter, and obviously Paul was discussing the gentile/jew circumcision problem. No one has told me lately that I need to be circumcised, but verse 7 really got my attention. There were a couple other verses that seemed to be telling me the same thing: verse 9b - The one who is throwing you into confusion will pay the penalty…verse 15 - If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other. I have been distracted. No, I have been literally stopped dead in my tracks. After 25 years of seeking first the Kingdom of God, I have been thrown into confusion, sucked into a debate that has all but destroyed my confidence, if not my faith. I have actually shouted into the heavens, “If that is who you really are, I want nothing to do with you!” And then came the panic attack. I should know better. I do know better. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love. (verse 6b). Faith in the God that so loved the world…Faith in the God that does not want any one to perish…Faith in Father, Son, and Holy Spirit God. I have been finding it harder and harder to pray. What difference could it possible make if everything is set. I have used this “oh well, it’s been predestined” as an excuse to sin. God, I am sorry! Hide thy face from my sins and blot out all mine iniquities! The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit and a broken and a contrite heart, O, God, thou wilt not despise. Cause me to know the way wherin I should walk, for I lift up my soul unto thee!
Well, I slept in this morning, totally ignored the rooster, so I better gulp down my coffee and get a move on. I'm so glad to be back to work...feeling better spiritually and emotionally. Still kind of yucky physically and tomorrow I have to go to the dentist for major work...ugg

For Crying Out Loud...

now that's a funny little statement isn't it?
so early yesterday morning I went on a prayer walk. we were at an event, sort of like a camp meeting, and unless you have been to the southwest, I don't think you could imagine the vastness, the bleak beauty, or the quiet of the place I was walking in. It's not at all like a walk in the woods, or a walk along a stream or on the shore of a lake. I felt very small, and very much alone, as if I walked too far I would simply disappear.
I was having a good conversation with the Creator. The night before the pastor who preached started out asking if God had ever called us to a place, and we went thinking that we knew why we were going, only to find out that God's plan was totally different than ours. (My thoughts are not your thoughts, My ways are not your ways). He ended the evening's message with the reminder - God never forsakes His elect.
His main text was Isaiah 61. The same text that was prayed over us when we became a part of Open Bible Standard Churches. We have revisited that particular section of scripture several times since moving to this part of the world. And that chapter always brings to mind the same image, the same vision. especailly verse 4 - Then they will rebuild the ancient ruins, they will raise up the former devatations and they will repair the ruined cities, the desolations of many generations. I read that and I see the "Mission". When we were first called to the four corners it was to pastor a small multi-cultural church on the American Indian Bible Ministries complex.
It was an old mission on the edge of Farmington, New Mexico just before the Navajo Reservation. It had been established in 1952 - the year I was born. There was no salary, and only temporary housing offered, but we believed this was where we were we meant to be. I fell inlove with the place and with the people. The church was our responsibility and the mission was under a different board, but we worked closely together. However, after 6 months that part of the adventure was over. having to leave that place was extremely painful. there was a terrible feeling of failure, rejection, betrayal and why in the world had we given up home and friends to come out here? Since then, many times, I have had a sense that we would go back there someday, and that would be the place that we were "do" Isaiah 61.
It was in my mind again yesterday morning as I walked in the desert, among the scrub oak and catus.
This spring we got scammed. Shortly after we started blogging we got an email from Sussan Chirs, a lonely widow dying of cancer, a born again Christian in a muslem country, asking for prayer - and a place to leave her large inheritance so that it could be used for God's work. Yeah, we knew it was a scam, but i wrote back. What if she really was sick and alone. At least I could offer her prayer and a word of encouragement. In four weeks time, she signed her inheritance over to us, sent us copies of legal documents and bank statements, died, and then the lawyer asked for money. We didn't send it. We had a friend very savoy in internet and international finances who exposed the scam. End of story. But for 4 weeks we enjoyed the "what if..."
We figured we would tithe to three places. Our Denomination, the church we are currently attending, and Passion Play International - a ministry we have been working very closely with for the past 8 years. We'd get our personal finances in order. And we'd try to buy the "mission"
Although some ministry is still going on there, it is not being used to it's best potential and the place is in disrepair. It's location is stratigic to this area, and there is room to expand.
But it was just a silly dream.
And so I asked the Creator, the King of the universe, just why He had brought us to this place.
and I remembered the end of the message - God will never forsake His elect. And I started to cry. Not tears of joy, I was not feeling comforted by those words that I believe the pastor to shared to give comfort and hope. I was feeling foresaken.
Logic - simple logic.
If there is an Elect few, predestined for salvation, and God never forsakes His elect, and I am forsaken, then logically it follows, I am not one of the elect. That is a very scary thought when you are alone in the desert and you are crying so hard you can't catch your breath and no one in the world even knows where you are. What was God's plan for us? Did he lead us here so that we could fail at an other ministry, so that our faith and our family could be shaken to the core, so that one of my dear sons would fall into the darkest of sins, and his brother, seeing how easy it is to fall and how christians treat other christians when someone does fall - well he just sits there reading his Bible saying, what does any of it matter...what's going to happens happens and we can't do anything about it, neither can God. This was God's predestined plan for our lives? Some plan. Sickness and death would have been better than this.
That is why I've been fighting so hard against this Sovereignty of God. This idea that God calls an elect few. That he knows. Can you see the loving Jesus of the gospels, walking through a maternity ward, looking at a bunch of new borns, saying - this one is a rapist, this one is a drug addict, this one will kill a family in a drunk driving accident - this one will die of aides - this one will molest a child - this one will be molested, this one will get into heaven, all the rest - well, have fun kids...no matter how you try to color this picture with theology and doctrine, if the reformed view of the Sovereignty of God upon which most protestant theology is based is true, then that is the god that Christians are suppposed to believe in. One who creates some people to burn in hell, and to make life hell on earth for other people while they are alive. There is no way that that is a loving god.
The best explaination of what I believe about the all knowingness of God comes from one of my commentors who is a self proclaimed pagan. Boy does that make me nervous. He wrote this:
Free will is only free will if we can make one of two choices. If there is no possibility that we will make any but one of the choices it is not free will, it is illusion. If God knows every choice we will make ahead of time, then what we will "choose" is pre-ordained. This is not free will. If it was as such, you would have no need to suggest I do good works, since my decision to do so would only be an illusion.This is not so. We have choices. When we make them, God knows why we made the decision. This doesn't mean he knew that we would. God knows all of the possibilities, but leaves it up to us to do as he would have us do. If we don't, he re-orchestrates so the plan can come into fruition. Your life is not being micro-managed by God. You are being watched, your deeds are being recorded, but they are your choices. True choices that none including you know for certain you will make until they are made. The only way that God could know what your decisions would be without robbing your right to free will would be if he existed completely outside of your world, such that he had no impact. If he was only an observer. He is not. God plays in the game beside you whether his presence is acknowledged or not.
And as I was crying out all these things, I started to come to a conclusion. If I'm not one of the elect, why am I still playing this game? If I have been forsaken by God from before time, and my destiny is hell, then whats the use? Why not just have fun for the 20 years or so that I might have left. No, why not seek out another source of power and have more than just fun, I almost had it once, before this Jesus stuff got in the way. And I've been doing the Jesus thing for 25 years and it hasn't worked...I could at least try the other way...but then every once of my self screamed NO! and no one heard me but the Creator. that conclusion is not TRUE, that is the enemy trying to finally, completely destroy me...
so i headed back to the camp, i needed a cup of coffee, i listened for a song to come into my mind,
"this is the day of your deliverance..." yeah that would be nice
i recited Matthew 6:9-13 a few times to calm me down. i could blame my red eyes on allergies, the dust out here has been really blowing.
but then, after breakfast and a good morning session, my period started (sorry guys for sharing more than you wanted to hear - but it's something no 53 year old woman should have to endure) and we left early and got a speeding ticket on the way home...
we went to bed early, and Art asked "why do we even bother?"
and I still don't know the answer.

From my friend DJ

Rose.......
The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged
us
to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look
around
when a gentle hand touched my shoulder

I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me
with
a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose.

I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?"

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she
gave me a giant squeeze.

"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked.

She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married,
and
have a couple of kids..."

"No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to
be taking on this challenge at her age.

"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting
one!" she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a
chocolate milkshake.

We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would
leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized
listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily
made friends wherever she went.
She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon
her from the other students. She was living it up.
At! the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our footballbanquet.

I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped
up tothe podium As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her
three by five cards on the floor.
Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and
simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and
this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me
just tell you what I know."
(this cracked me up!)
As we laughed she cleared her throat and began,
"We do not stop playing
because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.
There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and
achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have
a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.
We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!
There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.
If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't
do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am
eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything
I will turn eighty-eight.
Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The
idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.
The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for
things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with
regrets."
She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose."
She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our
daily lives.
At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all
those years ago.
One week after graduation Rose died? peacefully in her sleep.
Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to
the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be
all you can possibly be.
These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.
REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give.

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to
it, He will bring you through it.

Have a blessed day dear blog friends, by the way, there is a very interesting debate going on on The Reformation blog (see my links cuz I don't know how to put links in my text).

Starry, Starry Night

Just a quick note before I hit the sack.
I had the best day at work today...I love my job!
The room was well prayed up by the time the kiddos arrived. I had to do some special ed. running around - file checking, student finding, I really accomplished something important and it made me feel good.
There was this awesome storm in town while we were solving our problem from yesterday, the God of Glory Thundered.
Dance practice was fun, but exhausting...i love dancing unto the LORD!
When we left church, the sky was bright and filled with stars. We haven't seen many stars lately because it is monsoon season in New Mexico.
I've been getting up very early lately. Praying on my front porch. Here's my prayer for tomorrow morning:
Praise be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, who caused the morning stars to sing together, and all Your creatures will shout for Joy! Praise the LORD!

I Didn't Go In

There was/is this problem...
a stupid money problem really...not earth shattering
and I panicked
No way out...what could I do???
How would God get me out of this one? I didn't really deserve to be gotten out of this one...
So I drove to the you know what...at least some of you know
and I sat in the parking lot, and I felt really sick, and I said "God if you show me a rainbow I won't go in" (call me gideon)
and there appeared in the sky just a splotch of color, a rainbow that wasn't really going to form...
and He said, "that's all your getting, now go home."
So I did...
Will my problem be solved? There is a 6:00pm August 16 deadline and then the problem gets a lot worse.
But it's my son's 25th Birthday, and he'll be trying to call so that I can cry with him over the phone. Pastor Art just cooked dinner and it smells good. Chris and the Romans got into a big fight on my blog. And I got a nice long letter from a dear old friend
Now I really am rambling Wes...
Did my email cry for help get lost in cyberspace????
to be continued

Should Preachers Lie?

Those of you who have been reading me for any time, should know by now that I am struggling with the concept of the Sovereignty of God, the concepts of predestination and divine election, and the question of free will. My faith has been on shakey ground for about 3 years now, I sort of had a Job complex going. I believe that I have been actively seeking first the kingdom for over 25 years, and when things went terribly wrong in my family I really freaked out. I was totally unprepared for this type of crisis. Sickness and death wouldn't have been so bad. My family and I experienced shame, rejection, a sense of failure, thoughts of suicide, and it really isn't over yet.
Was this whole thing part of God's divine plan for our lives? A lot of people were hurt when this happened. Trust and Innocence and Faith all fell victim to this sin. For all the prayers, all the sacrifices, this is what we got? I've been looking for answers. In Jesus Christ Super Star (yeah I know the thought of that production makes lots of believers cringe) anyway, in that musical Judus laments to Jesus, "Your really hip on whens and hows but not so cool with whys"
In Job, God never answers that nagging why question. What would He say? "Well you see Job, the satan and I had this bet going" So forget the whys. My question lately has been, what did I do wrong? It seems that all of the answers to all of my prayers has been a solid "NO"
Ok, so I'm exaggerating a little. I've been indulging in some serious self pity, and self protecting impulses. But I've really been wondering why I should pray. And if I have been indeed praying wrong. One teacher says praying in tongues is the answer...another says praying the rosery is the key. And does God have a plan for us, a divine and perfect plan, that he will bring about no matter what...and this was his plan?????
Thats what I mean by the question Should Preachers Lie?
Today, while I was washing the mud from my object lesson away, I heard just a piece of the sermon. "God has a plan for everyone of you. A perfect plan for your lives."
Is that true? Surely, sitting in church doesn't mean that you are destined to be saved. Has a pastor ever stood infront of a congregation and preached. "Some of you were born, predestined to enter into the kingdom of God through faith in Jesus Christ. But some of you, actually most of you don't stand a chance. Come on up to the alter and pray the prayer. For some of you it will mean salvation. For others of you, you will just get up and walk out of this place right back into your sin. That is what you were born for. You can try to live the life if you want. People might be nice to you for a while, and the music will make you feel good. But all in all, only the elect will get in, and according to the percentages...the path is narrow and few will find it, most of you were lost before you were conceived. " How does that make any sense at all?
People are dying. Children are suffering. War is raging. Bad things happen to good people all the time. This is God's plan? Or is it the sinful nature of man out of control?
I like the picture of God in Genesis 6:5 - 6
"then the LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth and that every intent of the thought of his heart was only eivl continually and the LORD was sorry that He had made man on the earth. He was grieved in His Heart."
I like the fact that Jesus cried over Jerusalem, and wondered would there be any believers on the earth when he returned. Jesus' command was to love and to make disciples, who would love. Not mushy gushy love love love, love is all you need. But get dirty, sell your stuff, help the poor, open your doors, touch the lepers, wipe the eyes of the aides victims...that kind of love.
Well, I've rambled more here than I expected to.
For those of you who have reached this sentence, thanks for listening.
Agree or disagree. Try to set me strait. Warn me, Chastise me...I probably need it.
Blessings on those of you who bother to comment at all. I gotta go.

Thou Shalt Not Covet

I teach Children’s Church once or twice a month. We’re just finishing up our unit on the ten commandments and tomorrow I’ll be teaching number 10: Thou Shalt Not Covet.
Exodus 20:17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house; neither shall thou desire his wife, nor his servant, nor his handmaid, nor his ox nor his ass, nor any thing that is his. And again, in Deuteronomy 5:21 Neither shalt thou desire thy neighbor’s wife, neither shalt thou covet thy neighbor’s house, his field, or his manservant or his maidservant, his ox, his ass or any thing that is thy neighbor’s.
Thou shalt not covet…Thou shalt be content.
How do the more modern translations put it?
You must not be envious of your neighbor’s house or want to sleep with his wife, or want to own his slaves, oxen, donkeys, or any thing else.
No lusting after your neighbor’s house, or wife or servant or maid or ox or donkey. Don’t set your heart on any thing that is your neighbors.
The message is pretty clear. Yet, as I think about, and confess that I’ve broken that one on several occasions, I wonder if it’s actually the tenth commandment, or kind of a Post Script. Coveting is a sin that can remain hidden for a long time. It is a sin of the heart. But it can lead to the breaking of most of the other commandments. David coveted his neighbor’s wife, and it lead to adultery, lies, even murder.
As I present it to the kids, I’ll explain how coveting can lead to stealing and dishonoring your mother and father (whining, yelling, throwing an “I want it!” tantrum).
What about how coveting leads to breaking those first 4 commandments? It occurs to me that the thing you covet could become an idol, draining your attention, changing your focus. And what about working Sundays so that you can get the stuff you think you need? And should the person or thing that you covet come into church, then your worship would be perverted. And maybe those faith preachers, who talk about planting seeds into their ministry so that you can reap abundantly, who get rich off the offerings of widows and feed off the coveting of people who think that they can manipulate the blessings of God by how much they give. Isn’t that in a way, using the name of the LORD, in vain.
So instead of saying, “and the tenth commandment is “Thou Shalt Not Covet” , one could say…
In conclusion, Do not Covet.
I think it is pretty easy to at least look like you are keeping commandments 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.
Don’t bad mouth your parents, don’t murder, don’t commit adultery, don’t lie, don’t steal. Of course in Matthew 5 Jesus clarified things and showed that it is much harder to obey the law than even the Pharisees thought. If you are even angry, it’s murder in God’s eyes. If you even entertain the idea of an affaire, you’ve committed adultery. And what about coveting? Matthew 6 teachings, about treasures in heaven, and anxiety over things, and the God and Mammon discourse.
Like I said, Coveting is a sin that can be remain hidden for a long time. It is a sin of the heart. But God knows our hearts. Next week the Children’s Church lesson is on the two greatest commandments.
Matthew 22:37-39. A lot of people, who don’t want to deal with the law at all, and who use terms like ‘under grace’ or ‘under the blood’, like to stick with the concept that God is Love and the only commandments that Jesus gave us were to Love God and Love Your Neighbor. Love, Love, Love.
But what is Love? Can you hear the early Christians asking Paul that question?
Too bad that most Christians relegate I Corinthians 13 to weddings, sort of like how Psalm 23 has been relegated to Funerals. Anyway, this is what Paul had to say on the subject.
Tongues, prophecies, knowledge, even faith is nothing without love. Taking care of the needy, or dying a martyr’s death without love, nothing. And love does not covet. It is not jealous, not self seeking, It is kind, it is forgiving, Thou shalt not covet. Be content! The word content just led me to Hebrews 13, I think I’ll feed on that one for a while. So far, it’s been a beautiful day. Blessed be the name of the LORD!

Psalm 139

God understands my thoughts from afar, He is intimately acquainted with me, and that is good.
Search me, and Lead me Oh Lord...

I saw angels in church last night. I don't have visions very often, and when I do I try to dismiss them, since I will admit to a very active and somewhat out of control imagination. But I saw angels in church last night. I tried to change what I saw, color it, add to it, but the vision stayed constant, so maybe it wasn't just my imagination. I have seen angels before.
Here is what I saw last night.
There were three (not counting the two that were assigned to me three years ago. I already blogged about them). One of them three was standing behind the drummer, big and strong, with its arms folded, kind of like a body guard. One of them was kneeling beside the worship leader.
That angel had one hand on the Worship Leaders feet and the other hand was raised to heaven.
I thought maybe the angel was holding him down, then the verse about "how lovely on the mountain are the feet of them who bring good news"came to mind. The third angel was dancing in front, near the pulpit.

There are two poems and two stories on Dawn is Coming, and another story will be posted by tomorrow.

I start back to work tomorrow. Still no definite word about whether we will have to move.
I am really fighting the spirit of discouragement and fear.

Sometimes, visiting my friends in the blog world and commenting and commenting on comments helps...sometimes it doesn't. But still, I blog on!.

Sunday Afternoon

yesterday there was a great rain storm in Shiprock
the God of Glory thundered, and in the midst of the late afternoon down pour, there was a glorious rainbow...
worship and fellowship was good this moring - i saw angels dancing
i think i'll be reading Deuteronomy and Philippians this week...
this evening i'll have a chance to worship again, and then i'm teaching children's church, just a review of the 10 commandments...
worksheets and donuts
there aren't that many kids at the evening service
back to work for me tuesday, praise the LORD...
Pastor Eric said "the greatest weapon the enemy will use agains us is our own thought life"
some guy on one of the Christian television stations this week said that Prince Charles was the Anit-christ and this morning a newscaster talking about Hillary Clinton's possible run for president in 2008 used the word goddess...
i've been blogging for about 2 hours...time to quit
blessings

It's Terribly Noisy

birds singing, cat crying, cock crowing, husband snoring,
catholics saying you can't really love Christ if you don't love "The Church"
reformers saying that all of this crap i'm going through was predestined by a loving god before time began, comments on slice saying if i don't condemn what they condemn i'm a new age liberal heretic, and the song "blessed be the name of the LORD, blessed be His Holy Name - He gives and takes away, He gives and takes away, and still my heart will choose to say, Blessed be His Holy Name!
on Dawn is Coming, prose gives way to poetry...
dawn is coming - and i see lightning in the east - but I can't hear the thunder
it's too noisy - i can't hear the word of the LORD...
i think i'll be typing all day, but i don't think i'll be blogging

You can laugh, but read the next one too...

from bobbie
I bold typed my favorites...
Have you ever been driving down the road at 50 or 60 mph, passed a church and tried to read the sign out front. I sometimes slow down to read them and on occasion have turned around and gone back to catch the last part because I was going too fast to read it all. Here are a few you can read while driving your computer and you won't run off the road trying to see them: "The best vitamin for a Christian is B1." "Under same management for 2000 years." "Soul food served here." "Tithe if you love Jesus! Anyone can honk." "Beat the Easter rush, come to church this Sunday." "Don't wait for the hearse to take you to church." "Don't give up, Moses was once a basket case." "Life has many choices. Eternity has two. What's yours." "Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due." "Wal Mart isn't the only saving place." "Preach the Gospel at all times. Use words if necessary." "Prevent truth decay. Brush up on your Bible." "It's hard to stumble when you're down on your knees." "What part of 'thou shalt not' don't you understand?" "A clear conscience makes a soft pillow." "The wages of sin is death. Repent before payday." "Never give the Devil a ride. He will always want to drive." "Can't sleep? Try counting your blessings." "Forbidden fruit creates jams." "Christians, keep the faith -but not from others." "Satan subtracts and divides. God adds and multiplies." "To belittle is to be little." "If you don't want to reap the fruits of sin, stay out of the Devil's orchard." "Don't let the littleness in others bring out the littleness in you." "God answers knee-mail."

What do You Think?

Ultimately, we need to make sure that Jesus (not the Bible, or any particular interpretation of the Bible) is the rock upon which Church, faith and our lives are built."Jesus is the Word of God, the bible is merely our record of Him, though an extremely important one.

The problem is that each denomination has a different idea of exactly what the Bible says, and each denomination claims to be right, each claims (or at least implies) that to be the best Christian you can be you need to follow their understanding of the Bible. When we do this we run the risk of encouraging others to conform to our religion, rather than becoming disciples of Christ.

I got these two statements off Mo's blog. I think they both speak volumes of truth, but I'd like to know what all "you guys" think. See, I've always said that the main question is "Who then do you say Jesus is?" That is why, I guess, I can say that I have found Christians in every sort of denominational setting, from AOG to Roman Catholic. Once, early in my walk with the LORD, some door to door evangelists came up to me. They were not the typical Mormon, or JW (who do not believe in the Jesus recorded in the Bible), these were Baptists. I told them I was born again, and they were happy to hear it, but when I told them I was going to a United Methodist Church, they stepped back and informed me that then I wasn't really saved.
There was an Elim Bible college near the city I lived in, and they would actually send "missionaries" to the Liberal Churches in town to "help" with Children's Church. Our church accepted their "help" one year. I had a chance to talk with one of the students who had been assigned to our church. He told me that he was confused, because he was told that these kids had never heard the "True Gospel", yet the kids he was working with in our church were the "most Christian, Bible believeing kids" he had ever encountered.
I am having a real problem with people who confess the LORD Jesus as their savior and who blast other people who also confess the LORD Jesus as their savior, because they don't use the right words or the right methods, or because, as the quote above says, they don't follow the right understanding of the Bible.
Can people disagree with each other and still be brothers and sisters in the LORD?
Are there negotiables? Tongues, Worship Styles, How and When to Baptise, How and When to observe the Lord's Supper? Pretrib, Midtrib, or Postrib rapture,
What about Evolution, Creation, Old World, Young World????
Who decides what the negotiables are?
Who then do you say Jesus is?
And just what are His commandments, which He instructs us to teach in Matt. 18:20 ?
And, what is the Good News we are instructed to share?

Good Morning

Psalm 143:8
Let me hear Thy Lovingkindness in the moring, for I trust in Thee
Teach me the way which I should walk, For to thee I lift up my soul
Lamentations 3:22,23
The Lord's lovingkindessess indeed never cease, For His compasions never fail
They are new every morning - Great is Thy Faithfulness
I've noticed some new commenters on this site, welcome to all...
It is humbling and a bit unnerving to know so many people read these rambling thoughts, opinons and lamentations.
A new friend asked about Pastor Art because yesterday, we were sharing the computer and some of my comments were posted from his site.
Just a word of introduction and explaination to my new blog - mates
Pastor Art is my husband, a licesensed minister of Open Bible Standard Churches and our ministry is called Gateway of the Rock. You can get to our Ministry Blog site through my links,
or at this address: http://christstone.blogspot.com/
You can also link to Pastor Art's site - Temple Corners http://passingthoughts2.blogspot.com/
My site, the site you are currently visitng is more of a personal journal, though I do get into some theological discussions, and spend a lot of time in the WORD.
I am a teacher by profession, and school starts in a week - Yeah!
My religous back ground is Catholic. I'm proud to say I attended an all girl Catholic Highschool and graduated with an award for excellence in theology. But that was a long time ago.
I was born again in 1979 and took several Bible courses while I was earning my Bacholors degree in education at a Free Methodist College. I also took Bible Courses at a large Assembly of God Church in Rochester New York.
Currently, my husband, Pastor Art and I are attending an Assembly of God Church in Shiprock New Mexico - on the Navajo Indian Reservation. I am on the dance team, and work with the Children's ministries and my Husband is on the worship team, but we are taking a break from pastoring, and neither of us are in leadership at this church.
I am dealing with some heavy family, personal issues and as always, I am very greatful to those of my blogmates who are praying for me.
Isn't the blog world amazing? Oh the people you meet, just sitting at a keyboard and screen...
blog on

words words words

I only have 30 minutes to write this. I promised Pastor Art he could get back on the computer at 12:35, after I posted my entry for the day. I’ve been lying in bed composing it. Staying in bed until noon is a sure fire symptom of clinical depression, especially for me, the early riser. I think I remember cursing the rooster at about 5:30.
Anyway, my topic for the day is WORDS.
Way back when Pastor Art (temple corners) and I were newborn Christians and our main source of spiritual nourishment was Christian Radio (Chuck Smith, Chuck Swindoll, James MacAurthur, Don Fransico and Keith Green), we were often confused by conflicting teaching and apparent contradictions. I was a Roman Catholic turned Witch then Born Again. He was a Junky turned Pagan then Born Again, so our minds were pretty messed up. But God in His Mercy and Wisdom led us to good teachers and godly mentors, through of all places, a United Methodist Church. We’ve shared about that on this site as well as on “Gateway of the Rock”.
One of the problems we ran into, being United Methodist, was that although our pastor was Born Again, and our mentors were Spirit Filled, the denomination its self was very liberal, and some of the people we rubbed shoulders with during denominational functions were very New Age. Coming out of the Occult, both of us were very aware of this problem, of the lies that were creeping in. One such lie was concerning the feminine side of God, the idea that God was both Father and Mother. And one of the arguments was that the Greek word for father which was used in the Bible could mean either parent.
The United Methodist Denomination, especially in the east, was striving to totally rewrite
Christianity in a gender neutral manner, beginning with their hymnal - liturgy. It was at that point Pastor Art decided he needed to learn the original languages, Greek and Hebrew. He needed to know what it really said, what it really meant. While he was earning his bachelors degree in Religion and Philosophy he took every Greek and Hebrew class he could. He found Hebrew easier than most because he is dyslexic and reading from right to left seemed natural to him. For his advanced Greek class he translated the book of Romans, chapters 1 to 11, and he got the only A in the class. Our library is filled with dictionaries and lexicons. I sometimes resort to good old Strongs Concordance, but he says that’s just kids stuff.
WORDS. LOGOS. What do they all mean? They are powerful. They can cause great pain. They can be manipulated, twisted, misused. Remember what James says. Yet, we are told that In The Beginning was the WORD.
I’ve been reading, and participating in some rather intense debates here in blog land.
The words here have been filled with great emotion and great conviction. Some have been cynical (I tend to be cynical at times). Some have been down right cruel.
Many have been using the Holy Words of God to “prove” their points and demonstrate their knowledge and credibility. So I started thinking about the Bible as we have it in our hands. Originally written in very ancient and precise languages. Every pastor knows how many Greek words there are for love. Which word was Jesus using when he asked Peter
“do you love me?” I’ve heard several sermons on that one.
But the question I’ve been asking is who were the people who translated the Bible from Greek and Hebrew into Latin, and into German, and into English??? Did they have a hidden agenda, a bias? I think I’m going to miss my 12:34 dead line, but I am almost done with this. I believe that the doctrine of Divine Election has been distorted because the men who translated the scriptures into the common language and who wrote many of the commentaries used today were anti Semitic. The elect, the chosen were and still are the Jews. And take a look at 1 Samuel 2:25
“ If one man sins against another, God will mediate for him, but if a man sins against the LORD who can intercede for him. But they would not listen to the voice of their father for the Lord desired to put them to death.” Wow, what a case for predestination. The sons did not have a choice. But when I asked good old Pastor Art to look that up, we discovered that the word translated as FOR could also mean therefore, or so. Which would change the whole meaning of that sentence from a case of predestination to a case of cause and effect, free will, free choice resulting in severe punishment.
Lately, I read on a friend’s blog, that it was Luther who decided to remove what we call the Apocrypha from the Bible. Pastor Art and I are looking into that one. So far it seems that at the time of the Apostles, most Jews accepted those books as part of the Holy Scriptures and that they would fall under the 2Tim.2:16 “all Scripture“.
Ok, so I’m ten minutes past my dead line, and I guess writing this has been therapeutic, better than whining and panicking. I really don’t know where I’m going with all this.
On the way home from worship practice a familiar song was playing. One that has been ringing in my ears and speaking to my heart for quite a while.
“Every blessing you pour out, I’ll turn back in praise.
When the darkness closes in, still I will say…Blessed be the name of the Lord
You give and take away, You give and take away, my heart will choose to say
Blessed be your Holy Name!.”
I was going to ask the worship team to pray for us, for me, my husband, and my prodigal son. My prodigal son who is on his way home…so tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree, its been three long years. But who won’t be able to come home if our landlord forces us to move, which is what I believe is going to happen, no matter how hard any of us prays…and I didn’t ask the team to pray. I’d just start crying. Big baby that I am.
So let me focus on heady stuff. Let me debate with theologians and write words about the WORD.
Oh no, I just heard Pastor Art sigh. The computer clock says 12:55. I think I’ll go clean out the closet. Even if we don’t have to move it will be good to get rid of some junk.
Well friends, I guess I’ll stop rambling. Blessings and Blog On!

In the Pink

Not.
The sun is barely rising.
The rooster next door is crowing.
The LandLord called last night.
Woke up with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach
and the song
"Glory to God in the Highest" in my head.
Can't even seem to find my blog site this morning.
All I'm seeing is pink,
all I'm feeling is black.
Oh poor me,
I'm sick of my whining.

Teach Me to Number My Days...

During last night's worship service, I was very close to just giving up
Two songs have been going thru my head over the past week...
or at least parts of the songs
Every blessing you pour out, I'll turn back in praise...if...You give and take away, You give and take away, and still my heart will say, blessed be Your holy name!
and
from a stupid minivan commercial, a voice from the past,
dust in the wind...don't hang on...all we are is dust in the wind
is that from the book of JOB too?
I read the book of Job today, and then I went on line and read some commentaries on it.
The Talmud says that Moses wrote it.
One scholar said "unless the Book of Job first unsettles us deeply it cannot open its riches to us."
I'm not sure it is a good book for someone who is already unsettled to read.
Funny after chapter two, where Job declares that he will bless the name of the LORD, he spends a great time wishing he were dead. I can relate.
Sunday Morning's sermon was on Psalm 91. During the Christmas season, a friend prayed that Psalm over us and our home and family. I revisit it often.
The pastor was preaching about having a peaceful retreat where we could hide in the shadow of His wings, when we were feeling "Troubled in Spirit, Confused, and Frustrated"
That's me in a nut shell, or so I wrote in my prayer journal.
He encouraged us, our troubles would not distroy us, they will not effect God's love for us...
but then he said
"Job repented after questioning God's sovereignty" and I cringed.
God's Sovereignty.
That God knew, That God planned, That God allowed...
all this tells me is that God is rattling my chains...and nothing I do really matters.
nothing anyone does matters...
back to the question I asked on this blog site months ago.
why pray?
How do I ignor the first two chapters of Job. How do I accept them?
Job was righteous. That's what it says.
God was mean. That's how it seems.
"Let's play a game at Job's expense."
I am not righteous, or blameless. Hear me sigh.
At the end of the evening service I felt a little better.
God reminded me of something He had spoken into my heart in January.
I was at the alter, crying for my sons, and my grand children, and the bleak future...
God "said" not to worry about my family situation, that my sons and my grandchildren were in His hands. He was working it all out. My focus was to be on the students He had entrusted to my care. I was to pray for their salvation. It was a good reminder since I go back to work next week.
He also "said" that as He was working things out, things might get shaken up a bit, and not to panic when things started to shake.
That helped. The pastor's message that God loves Sinners helped. Maybe my prodical son will be welcome in this particular fellowship of believers inspite of his very public, much dispised sin.
It is Monday, and I spent the first 2 hours of my day reading JOB.
Tomorrow is Worship/Dance team practice. That is good.
Wednesday I might go to the Bible Study. They are doing the book of John, and I like the book of John. But the teacher and I don't always see eye to eye. And that ol' Sovereignty of God issue is bound to come up, which has really been getting to me lately.
Thursday a Women's group just started. I went last week, and was actually deemed "the quiet one". I am never the quiet one. But two of the women were sharing about how they were molested as children. That is a very sensitive topic for me.
Friday the church is going camping in the mountains. I really REALLY want to go, but I'm not sure about gas money. I have a big collection of DVD's I'm planning to take into town to sell.
But will it be enough to pay the phone bill, buy a Bible for my new daughter-in-law's birthday, and buy enough gas for the camping trip (not to mention bug spray and a dish to pass)?
No matter. Life goes on.

fyi

haven't been disconnected yet.
encouraged by your comments and prayers
clinging to psalm 69
just posted "the enforcers" on Dawn is coming for my son.
he received psalm 69 last night too.
God is good. Life aint so good.

Who was J.C. Ryle anyway?

This morning I read an ancient sermon suggested on the Slice site.
I was thinking, maybe it would be a good Bible teaching.
After reading it I wrote the following comment. It got a little long. But I think it said a lot, so I left is on the Slice site and decided to post it here too.
I got a few good quotes from this sermon.
"peace procured at the expense of truth is not worth having"
"some are discouraged by the length of our journey"
but he uses only one piece of one verse...hold fast to what is good. I Thes. 5:21b
actually I think a lot of us need to really pay attention to the first part of the verse, especially when we are about the business of exposing or defending various ministries and teachers
"But examine everthing carefully, hold fast to that which is good"
A lot of blog comments are based on emotional reactions to heresay.
Secular news reports are taken at face value when they seem to prove our particular stand on something, but everyone knows the press is bias. I read this sermon actually hoping to find some words of wisdom and good Bible teaching. I believe that sermons should be sound Bible teachings. I think it is a pastor's responsibility to preach the word of God in such a way that it gives the congregation something to chew on, something to meditate on, something to walk with through out the week. This sermon was merely anti-catholic rhetoric. Early in my walk with the LORD, before my husband and I had found a church home, we visited a friends church.
I think it was non-denomiational. It was a long time ago. But I can remember something the young pastor said from the pulpit. I don't remember the exact names he used, but he said something like this..."You can drive though any town and see dozens of churches. And you can tell by their names, "St. Thomas, Our Lady of Mercy, Grace United Methodist, Peter and Paul Episcaple, etc. that their leaders are liberal unsaved heretics." I was shocked. Not that there might be ministers who were liberal unsaved heretics, but that any man of God would so generally judge and publically condemn. In the 25+ years that I have been walking with the LORD, I have met Catholics, Methodists, Episcapalians, Charasmatic, Menonites, Salvation Army Officers, Baptists, oh, there are too many to name. But I have met, fellowshiped, prayed and worshiped with them and know, regardless of the name on their church, it's form of government, or style of worship, these individuals were/are saved. The body of Christ is made up of many parts. God is a God of variety. Blessed be the name of the LORD!

The way it was...

Psalm 143
The drive from Shiprock to Albuquerque is a little more than three hours depending on how fast you dare to go. The speed limit is 70mph. I was due in court at 1:00pm and we left at 9:00am. I was wearing my most non hippy style outfit and my nerves were frayed.
But the scenery is awesome and the music was good. And when we walked into the court house I was pretty calm and just a minute or two late. The lawyer subtly told us that it wouldn’t be good for Art to go into the court room, because of his wild and wooly appearance. I was going to have to wait about 45 minutes to testify, and he wanted us to stay over night because he wanted me in the courtroom when Ardy testified the next day.
As I sat in the waiting room, I took out my Bible. The book mark was at Psalm 143.
A few weeks back our Pastor used a verse from that psalm to emphasis the importance of seeking God’s will for our lives.
“teach me the way in which I should walk; For to thee I lift up my soul."
As soon as I started reading, I knew this was the section of Scripture that was meant for me at that place and time. The Living Words that would carry me though these stressful times.
Hear my prayer O Lord!
Of course He could hear my prayer, and with those words came the confidence that not only could He hear, but that He was listening intently.
Do not enter into judgment with Thy servant, for in thy sight no man living is righteous.
I am glad that when the Word tells us to visit the prisoner, it does not specify that only the innocent, wrongly accused deserve Christian consideration. There is a verse somewhere that says “Let mercy triumph over justice” The people who used to “March for Jesus” sang a song with those words. That was on the same album as “Shine Jesus Shine”
Who of my readers remembers that?
Anyway, this whole concept of mercy and judgment and redemption has weighed heavily on my mother’s heart over the past three years.
My son is guilty. My son sinned. And he was a Christian when he did it. This whole court thing is not to prove or disprove his guilt. It is to decide how much damage was done to the victim and how much money the family should be awarded for those damages.
For the enemy has persecuted my soul. He has crushed my life to the ground. He has made me dwell in dark places.
These lines apply to my son, and to me as well. To our whole family. Guilt, condemnation, rejection, hopelessness have been the fiery darts flung at us by the accuser.
I remember the days of old…
These words remind my of going back to my first love (Rev. 2:4,5). They remind me of the angel experience I wrote about a few weeks back. This whole ordeal was just beginning and the Lord told me to hang on to that experience when I started to doubt that God was really there.
And I knew that God was really there, as I walked into the court room, the mother of a convicted felon. The questioning wasn’t so bad. The lawyer who was really nasty to me during my deposition was “nicer” in the court room. Ardy’s lawyer had told me it wouldn’t be as bad, because there was a judge in the room.
The next morning Art and I read Psalm 143 again, together. And he went off to a cool corner in the court house to read and pray (what a way to celebrate your 50th birthday) and I went into the court room to watch and listen and pray and wait. To be there for my boy. 10 hours later we were on our way home. We had a nice dinner at Art’s favorite buffet, which happens to be in a casino. But I didn’t even spend a nickel. By the time we got home, the truck was whining like an old horse, and our stress levels were off the scale. We almost got into a fight, for no good reason.
My spirit was overwhelmed within me.
We came home to over due bills, and a negative balance in our checking account.
Jeremiah’s new wife’s family has decided that this quick marriage is not a good thing and have told her she is not welcome in the house. They also kicked out her brother who introduced them. So he’s staying with us for a week…more stress
New Mexico is having a heat wave, 106 in Shiprock today.
I am longing for a big, cleansing, thundering storm. Open the floodgates of heaven, let it rain. I wouldn’t be saying that if I lived on the Gulf coast. Bless those caught in the hurricane Lord, and as far as I am concerned…
Thou art my God, Let thy Holy Spirit lead me on level ground. For the sake of Thy name, O Yahweh, revive me. In Thy righteousness bring my soul out of trouble.
Amen, even so, Yes Lord Jesus.

Every Mother's Son

There are some things a mother just should never have to do...
In about 17 hours I will be sitting in a court room, waiting to testify in the civil trial against my son. The victim's family wants to convince the jury that my son is a monster and my husband and I are religious kooks. This hurts really bad. I hope someday I will be able to minister to mothers who feel what I've been feeling for the past three years. I drive by convicts doing road work and shout, "I'm praying for your mothers"
I want to say, no matter what the world thinks, Jesus valued your sons so much that He died for them...I want to tell them it is ok to still love their sons.
And right now, I would ask my friends to pray for me.

Venancio

Some guy just recently left a message on one of my old postings.
The name was Venancio, and his message was basically, hey guys, there is no god...so get over it.
He's from Belgum, how in the world did he find me????
oh the wonders of blogging!
Chris says that many of my readers are Liberal, and EC sympathizers. At least one of them is a self proclaimed pagan. Love ya, Wanderer! (Love you too Chris)
But even though Venancio commented on a post that is over a month old (More on Psalm 143)
I have to address the idea that there is no God.
Anyone who has read any thing that I have written knows that I am a Christian who believes that the Bible is the Living Word of God.
There is no God? What a terrible world this would be if that were true, it would be a non world, a void world...
and as far as myself...
I have no idea who I would be without God.
Actually, in my deepest darkest moments, I have thought maybe this really is all there is...
just wishful thinking and coincidences and the occassional "nice" person.
And to be honest, If I had ever really been able to convince myself that there really is no God,
I would not be...I would have chosen not to be...
I love Jesus. I love the life He has given me. I love being a Christian, even when some people like my friend the heretic, says nasty things about so called Christians. I love to worship the LORD with my friends and family. I love singing "Jesus Loves Me" as I rock my babies and grand babies to sleep. I love looking at the night sky, or a new born's little foot and knowing where they come from, and I give glory to the One from whom they came.
I love reading the Bible and realizing just how awesome a work it is...a master piece, put together by the Master so that His children can understand the Love, and the responsibility that comes with that Love and through it.
I have not had an easy life. But the last 25 years, the years that I have spent seeking first the Kingdom, and walking The Walk, has been a great adventure. And the adventure continues.
I am not a perfect person, infact there are times when I am not even a very good person. But I Love my Lord, and He loves me.
A long time ago, I was working in an office and one of my coworkers was a Christian. She was a sweet young thing, who would come in early and sit in the breakroom with a cup of tea and her Bible. I liked her, and I felt sorry for her. I thought, someday she will wake up and smell the coffee. Someday she will realize that there is no room in today's enlightened world for primitive religions like Christianity. I didn't know she was praying for me. I didn't know that through her friendship and innocence and prayer, God was beginning to soften my heart. She never preached to me, or invited to her church, but she played a big part in my salvation, and redemption. Thank You Carrie the Christian where ever you are...and thank you readers whoever you are, for hearing this old grandma's voice speaking from the New Mexican Desert.
God is Good!

What's the problem?

As a former Roman Catholic, I began my personal relationship with Jesus with several preconceived notions. I'll admit that my religious education in my all girl Catholic High School was liberal, but I graduated with my virginity in tack and an award for Excellence in Theology, and proud of it.
The first time I ever heard anyone say "Once saved, always saved!" it floored me. Could this be true? The woman, a co-worker, was explaining to me why it was ok for her to be having an affaire with a married man. She was using terms like, under the blood and predestined...it was God's predestined plan for this wonderful man to come into her life at such a hard time. It didn't matter to her at all that adultry was a sin, after all the wife wasn't even saved. And as a born again Christian she wasn't under the "law".
Could it be that someone could turn their life over to Jesus, and go out and committ a blatent sin, with out remorse and still go to heaven?
That was 20 years ago. I have a better understanding of certain Christian mantras now.
Once saved always saved...
It's under the blood...
Salvation through faith not works...
my favorite is "Faith with our works is dead" but I don't hear that one very often.
Over the past few weeks, as the summer in the Four Corners gets hotter and hotter...
I've encountered several wounded individuals, who seem very lost in the dark perversness of this age. Each one of them has been able to spout out the salvation message, the Roman road if you will. Each one of them has been to the alter. And although they know enough scripture to prove that they've been to church, it seems they never got the "go and sin no more" message.
They'd been promised that God would change their lives, they'd be healed of their addictions and their poverty, if only they came forward and said yes to Jesus. But without proper discipleship, when the matters of the world, the temptations, attacked them, they fell away...and their response now is "I tried the Jesus way, but it doesn't work for me" or worse...
"I guess I just wasn't predestined for salvation."
What does it do to someone who is struggling with matters of faith, when they hear that God has a certin elect few that are predestined for salvation, and the rest...actually the majority if you miss interpret the message about few finding the narrow path...are born to spend eternity in a devil's hell?
The devistating concept of Manifest Destiny, which led to the slaughter of the native americans just 150 years ago was birthed in the doctrine of Predestination. The idea of Divine Election fed the mistreatment of "inferior" races of humanity, who were born savages and heathens. Surely, these creatures were not part of God's elect.
How does one preach the gospel, the good news of Jesus Christ to a people group, who will also be told that all their ancestors, all those loved ones who have gone before them will be burning in hell because they never had a chance to say yes to Jesus.
God is Good...God is Love...God is all powerful...there is Evil in the world.
Those facts can only be reconcilled if we
#1. stop trying to limit God to our human understanding of all knowingness and sovereignty.
#2. acknowledge that all human beings are born with a divine plan, and God wants all of them to be saved, but has given them the right and responsibility to choose.
#3. there would be much less evil in the world, and much better ways to address the problems of evil, if the people who named the name of Jesus would live the life he put before us...
Faith without works is dead...can dead faith heal?
I've recently confessed on this blog a "hidden" sin. I am not the only "good" Christian who has something in their lives that is hidden, dangerous - distructive. None of us is actually good, right? In publishing it on my site, I made myself vulnerable to people who know me personally, as well as bloggers, some of whom already think I am a liberal, unsaved heretic. I am greatful to those who have prayed for me. To some of the readers of this blog, the theology I express here is all off...but I feel good about my convictions...and the fog I've been in for some time is beginning to lift. Time to go on with my day.
By the way, for those of you who do pray for me...next Tuesday I have to go to court to testify in a civil suit for my son. I am not happy about that. Ugg!

A Fair Question (i guess)

I started blogging because a friend of mine kept talking about his own blogging experience. I checked out his site, and a site he highly recommended, and went from there. I soon discovered some distrubing things. Some people out there, including my friend in fact, were calling some of the things I held as true, heretical. And there were a lot of supposedly sincere Christians who seemed to take great pleasure blasting other supposedly sincere Christians. Yesterday, a commentor on another site, made a comment on one of my comments, asking just what wouldn't I allow in Church. He's actually put the question to me a few times, on the same site. And I woke up this morning thinking about it.
I am not a pastor. I am a pastor's wife. But we are currently not pastoring a church. I am my husband's partner in ministry. I have held various positions of leadership in several churches. As well as my extensive experience in Children's Ministry, I have taught/led seminars, women's retreats etc. I've been a teacher for 20 years, Christian Schools and Public Schools and Reservation Schools. I'm not claiming to be an expert, but I am talking from experience. Although some people out there would doubt my salvation, I have been a Christian for 26 years.
So, what wouldn't I allow in Church? In what areas wouldn't I compromise?
Since my "ministry" is woven tightly with my husbands, I will explain what WE wouldn't allow, what we didn't allow, and in come cases, the consequenses of our unwillingness to compromise.
I ended up having take over the reigns of a large inner city Vacation Bible School, when our senior pastor removed from the position a woman who had led her daughters and some of her little friends in a seance at a sleep over. It wasn't a church event, but we couldn't allow a weekend spiritist to coordinate a church event. In the same Church, a very well loved youth leader was removed from her position when she decided to move in with her boyfriend. The woman was a very good friend of mine. She knew that I was on the committee that decided this matter, and she agreed with the decision. In the same church we made quite a few youth angry, because we wouldn't allow them to listen to secular rock music at a lock in.
As far as music goes, it has always been the lyrics, not the style that was the determining factor.
A few months in to my husbands first postition as an assistant pastor, 3 things happened nearly back to back, that led to his resignation from the church and our leaving the denomination. First, he wouldn't allow a professing Jehovah's Witness whose husband and children attended our church, teach a Sunday School Class. Second, at a Women's Ministry Meeting, I protested using any of our treasury money to support "Reproductive Rights" which meant promoting "free and safe abortions to third world countries". And the final straw, my husband made it perfectly clear to the ordination committee that he firmly believed that homosexuality and abortion were sins.
We have taken a stand against making "God language" gender neutral.
I interupted a class on stress management because the instructor was leading us in meditative yoga exercises to the back ground music of chanting, and she had no idea what was being chanted on her tapes.
We were "relieved" from duty in a church because we were opposed to taking the youth to a Sunday evening church service where the kids were into holy laughing, holy barking, and even holy puking. We had gone once, and our kids were really confused and upset by it. In the name of unity, and because our senior pastor had dilussions of becoming a mega "Spirit Filled" church, he insisted they give it another try. We wouldn't.
What wouldn't we allow in church?
Leaders and Teachers who do not believe in the Triune Godhead, Father Son Holy Spirit, who do not believe that Jesus was born of a virgin, crucified for our sins, resurrected and coming again. Who do not hold to the Bible as the living and true word of God.
There would be no communing with the dead, no spiritism, no actions or substances to alter the state of consciousness.
Medidtation would be an exercise in focusing on God and His truth, not in emptying ones mind.
There would be no sexual impurity among the leaders, and no hint of it.
Modest dress...not too short, too tight, too low cut, too saggy.
Men would not counsel women alone, nor would women counsel men alone.
There would be solemn assemblies and joyful celebrations.
People would be encouraged to invest their gifts and talents in Kindgom building. Singers would sing, drummers would drum, dancers would dance with
banners, tamborines, glory hoops
Artists would create visual metaphors to help illustrate spiritual truths.
There would be a time and place for drama.
Rocks, water, candles, incense, sheep, bread, a fish net, the fruit of the vine, coins, nails and a crown of thornes. All props that we have used, that we would continue to use.
And you would be welcome...
regardless of how you dressed, how you smelled, how you sin
and you would be free
to speak in tongues, to fall on your face before the mighty creator of the univerese, to cry or laugh, to sit or stand...
mercy would triumph over justice, Jesus would set you free, the Holy Spirit would convict and restore...The word of God would be preached with wisdom and understanding, God would be worshiped in spirit and truth...
amem

Who are You People and What are You Thinking?

I just noticed my blog counter...500+
That's scarey. People are reading me. I wanted to have a voice that was heard...but that seems like a lot to me.
I spent the past two hours visiting, commenting, praying over, and reflecting upon my links, and some of the links of my links. Sounds to me like a lot of us are getting a call to action...waiting for orders...anticipating change!
I have to check my email, write two letters and head to the post office.
Later today I will post my son's second story to his Dawn is Coming site...he can't do it because he doesn't have computer access where he is.
So, I'll hit PUBLISH POST and move on.

Fine, thankyou!

Halfway…
2005 is just a little more that half way through, so is my summer vacation.
Art brought me a new prayer journal. Jeremiah will be getting married in a week. I’m reading the book of John. Magnificent Truth.
I’ve made it to chapter 5. The Word, the Light, the Living Water. And the reoccurring theme that individuals brought other individuals to see Jesus.
Andrew brought Peter. Philip brought Nathaniel, the Samaritan woman brought her whole town. Who have I brought lately? Or am I just waiting for the Holy Spirit to bring them? As usual, when reading through this book, I got a little hung up on the whole, Spirit and Truth thing. Just what is worship? It seems to be quite an area of dissention here in blog land. Art brought home a book about God-centered worship, “A Better Way” by Michael Horton. So I read a little of that yesterday. One quote:
“…the so called ‘worship wars’ with both sides amassing their proof-texts that supposedly settle the debate once and for all, resulting in a tragic division of Christ’s body into traditionalist and progressive camps, each with its own Sunday morning service.” He sees Sunday morning worship services as covenant renewals, and the main elements, according to him, should be the word and the sacraments (the water and the bread). Actually the book is a bit much for my old brain. Back to John’s gospel.
Chapter 5. Verses 19-47. This is the first long teaching, to the Jewish leaders in the temple, recorded by John. I’ve read it in the NKJV and the NAS, and now I’m reading it in the Message (oh dear theologians, forgive me) and the good OLD Living Bible. Jesus begins to explain how He and God the Father work together. He talks about salvation and judgment. The part about this teaching I always liked was that He confirms that Moses indeed wrote the Torah, the first five books. Many scholars say that this part of the Word was just oral tradition until the days of Nehemiah, that Moses did not actually write it. If Jesus said Moses wrote it, than Moses wrote it. And many say that the Old Testament is not relevant to Christianity. Yet Jesus says in John 5:47 If you don’t believe in the writings of Moses, how can you believe in His words. I was part of a Wednesday evening Bible study for a while. We were just beginning the book of Romans, and in the introduction the teacher, who I respect, got into this whole theological explanation of how the Bible was written and made the statement that Moses had not actually written the Torah. I didn’t want to argue with him, or correct him. At least not in the presence of the rest of the class. He is a leader in our church and I have submitted to his authority. I discussed it with my husband on the way home. Although my husband is a licensed pastor, for this season, in this fellowship, he is not in leadership. He did bring this up to the teacher, who is a brother and a friend. But the teacher was offended. We just stopped going to the study, but I am wondering if we should have been bolder. We like the church we are going to. The senior pastor has an apostolic vision for the Navajo Nation which is solid, his teaching is grounded in the Word of God, and the worship is dynamic, prophetic. We have family in this church. Although we are not Navajo we feel welcome and loved. Although Art is a pastor in another denomination, we do not feel that we are supposed to be planting a new church. This area does not need another church. But we are feeling that we need to be doing something more for the Kingdom. And we feel that we need to be careful not to offend…which may be holding us back. God, give us wisdom!