everyone counts

Tuesday, May 31, 2005

On the LIGHTer side

thanks Danny, I needed this...
How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?Charismatic: Only one. Hands already in the air. Pentecostal: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against spirit of darkness. Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times. Roman Catholic: None. Candles only. Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, andt hree committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken. Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one tomix the drinks, and one to talk about how much better the old one was. Mormons: Five. One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians: We choose not to make a statement either infavor of or against the need for a light bulb. However, ifin your own journey you have found that light bulbs work foryou, that is fine. You are invited to write a poem orcompose a modern dance about your light bulb for the nextSunday service in which we will explore a number of lightbulb traditions, including: incandescent, fluorescent threeway, long-life and tinted, all of which are equally validpaths to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright,dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a lightbulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church-wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish. Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy. Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?

Life Goes On

For about 6 weeks the question has been, legitimate miracle or scam.
Looks like the odds are 99.9% that it was a scam...

Sunday, May 29, 2005

I Kings 18:1

"Now it came about, after many days, that the word of the LORD came to Elijah in the third year saying, "Go, show yourself to Ahab, and I will send rain on the face of the Earth"
On February 6 this year I was sitting in church and our guest speaker, a very charasmatic Native American preacher, used this verse to open his 4 day revival.
It made me smile at the time, because my little grandson Elijah would be celebrating his third birthday this year, and I flipped ahead in my calendar to May 29, and wrote: 1Kings 18:1 - is it raining today?
It isn't, yet. It hasn't rained in Shiprock for quite a few weeks, but the rivers are flooding because of the hot weather in the mountians, and there are clouds in the sky. Anyway, we celebrated the beginning of Elijah's third year today, and when I look back over the past 3 years I can hardly believe I'm still here to write about it. It was three years ago today that my little grandson was born. My daughter in law has proved to be quite a disappointment, but she did let me be in the delivery room and I will always be grateful to her for that. The day Elijah was born was the day that I found out for sure, without a doubt, that my own dear first born, Elijah's Uncle Ardy, would be spending some time in prison. The best of times, the worst of times. So began the darkest season of my life. So began the passage through the hottest refiners fire I ever experienced. And it was my sweet (and now a days very naughty) grandson that literally kept my heart beating.
I have a question, I doubt my exdaughter in law will ever speak to me again, at least not about important things...but she weighs heavy on my heart and so I have a question about her salvation. When she was 17 she gave birth to a beautiful little girl in a Christian home for unwed mothers. Her parents had demanded she have an abortion, and even though she was about as far from being a Christian as anyone can be at the time, she would't kill her baby. She was saved at the home. She was a Christian when my son married her. He gave the prospect a lot of thought, being fully aware of the added responsiblity he was accepting for a 18 month old baby that wasn't his own. They had a lot going against them, but my boy was a pretty strong Christian, so I thought he'd be able to pull it off through the grace of God. He is the only daddy that this little angel ever knew. He was planning to adopt her before school started...and he is still very much a part of her life...but her mom had an affaire, shortly after the birth of Elijah. She dropped the kids off at her parents home and took off. I won't share any more of the details, but where she stands now, she says that she must not have ever been saved afterall, that she was predestined to have this affaire and she is predestined to hell. She doesn't feel that she has to confess this sin, because God planned for it to happen so it isn't her fault. Could this be right? Do I go with once saved always saved, or was it impossible for her to really be saved because she was predestined for damnation. I have my own answers. But, as scarey as it is, I'd like to present this question here for comments. Maybe, if I get any responses, after a while, I will write how I answer this question. Anyway, God is good, and Elijah is three years old, and there is a miracle on the horizon, getting closer...glory be to God in the highest!

Thursday, May 26, 2005

Interesting Question????

One of those radio Bible teachers said this morning that Romans was written to correct James, but that some people think that James was written to correct Romans. And I think that if it is between Paul and James, I would go with the brother of Jesus who knew Him his whole life...but if I use my puzzle illustration, if there appears to be a contradiction - I know there are no true contradictions, but there are several apparent contradictions, then we must search for the pieces that tie it all together. Maybe that is where I'll go for the next few days. This morning I read The Lamentations Chapters 3,4,5...poor Jeremiah! I'm "reduced" to the KJV because my glasses broke and it's the only large print I have. I "sang" 3:22,23 I like 3:26 "It is good that a man should both hope and quiety wait for the salvation of the LORD." But the book ends so sadly " But Thou hast utterly rejected us, thou are very wroth against us" 5:22
I'm glad the whole Bible doesn't end that way. Off to work I go! 36 hours until summer vacation!!!! I love being a teacher....

Tuesday, May 24, 2005

1234

So, today I've read Proverbs 3. One of my favorites, and I've visted a lot of blogs and I still feel OK. It is a beautiful day, but the river is flooding. So far it's not a serious matter for most, but it's being watched. I should know some answers by the end of the week, to a question that has been distracting us for about 6 weeks. Which "proverb" will prove true?
a) if it is too good to be true it probably isn't
or
b) with God, nothing is impossible.
If the miraculous does not happen, then I will still say, "yes and amen, thy will be done"
and life will go on...
but if.........oh well, we'll know soon!
just had to get a word out at this time.
blessings all!

Early Start

The alarm clock just went off, and I've been up for 2 hours. Sat on the deck drinking coffee and waiting for the birds to start singing. Had a nice "chat" with the LORD. Part of the conversation was about the difference between a "mean god" and a just God. Part of the conversation was about how easily a mother's heart can break. But I feel really good right now. I think more confident and hopeful than I've been in a long time. I've done some blogging, but now I must be on my way. Worship and Dance team practice tonight. Yeah!
Oh LORD, my Lord, how majestic is Your name in all the earth!

Monday, May 23, 2005

Monday Afternoon Meditation...oops, I mean Musings

I’m going to make this short. I will spend some time later today visiting my links but I’m not going to say much. I started blogging because I wanted to make contact with someone. I wanted to voice my ideas and opinions and be heard. And I like to write. It’s been fun getting comments on what I’ve written, both on my site and others’ but not all the comments have been nice. In fact some are very upsetting. Back when I first got saved, someone made the statement to me that Roman Catholics worshiped a false Christ. That really upset me, because the Jesus I had just asked into my heart was exactly the same Jesus that I had learned about in the Catholic Church. I have written that the main question is Who Do You Say Jesus Is? What then will you do about Jesus? But it seems Christianity isn’t as simple as that. I always knew the path was narrow. Now, as I read some of these Christian blogs, I am beginning to think the path is even too narrow for me. And I’m asking myself, have I really been wrong about God all these years? Apparently, the teachings of Jesus are not enough to live by. In fact although the Reformed and/or Anti EC or Anti Postmodern or Anti Eastern bloggers like to say “Sola Scriptura” the Bible isn’t enough either. It has to be Luther’s or Calvin’s or MacArthur’s or even their own personal take on what the word says…all others are wrong. Not only wrong, but people who disagree are pagans or heretics. That really bothers me. I sat in Church Sunday wondering just who all these people were worshiping? Was I worshiping the same God? And that is crazy thinking for me. Who have I been praying to, and why? So my new favorite verse comes to mind, Nehemiah 6:8 – to my accusers, to my distracters, “nothing like what you are saying is happening! You are just making it up out of your head!”

Friday, May 20, 2005

I won't be back until Monday

I got up early today, and in just a few minutes I will be heading off to school/work. Only 5 1/2 days of classes left until Summer Vacation! Praise God! I wish I knew what the next few months will hold. There are things on the calendar. But far too many "ifs" and "what ifs" and this could be a very long, hot and troublesome summer. I've spent about 45 minutes this morning blogging. Visiting all my links, and a few that aren't on my list, but I go there anyway, even though they usually upset me. One of my friends is getting ready to do a series on the concept of Christian Blogging. I'm not sure this whole blogging thing has been good for me. Oh, I've made a few new friends I think, and I love to write. It's nice to be heard I guess. And it's kind of like a Bible study, where you can get your whole thought out without being interupted, you can take as long as you need to look things up, and you can attend in your jammies. BUT, one of the bad things has been that after 25 years of walking with the LORD, seeking first the KINGDOM of GOD, with my Chrisitanity being the focal part of my life, the first and formost part of my identity, I have encountered people out there who have made me doubt my faith. Going though the refiner's fire is hard enough but then I see my basic beliefs fall under the label of heresy, and I see my opinions getting shot down as being new age, which is really funny because I've been teaching against the New Age movement for years...and then I start thinking, maybe everything has gone wrong in my life because I've been living a lie, and I'm not really saved, and I'm not even predestined for salvation, 25 years of believeing in the wrong god. Do you know what those thoughts can do to the emotions of a menopausal women????Yeah, I still have my sense of humor, but I am dead serious...So I won't be back until Monday. This should be a good weekend. I'll get to spend time with my grandkids. We'll watch the muppet wizard of oz. I have a ministry meeting to go to, with a parachurch group, Passion Play Ministries International, and the people there are good friends. We'll do some yard work, my son and I (not the son "in trouble", the one who claims to be the "good son" by default.). Then worship and Children's church on Sunday. And I plan to do a lot of reading (the WORD) and praying...
so, until Monday, I am and remain (for now) maryellenbernadetteiachettageniipuffbrokp...

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

Just in the Nic of Time

That's a strange little idiom isn't it? Wonder where it came from.
I was just blogging around on my lunch break and noticed that it was nearly 12:34...my favorite time. So here I am again. With nothing much to say really. My friend Sis loved the time 11:11. I haven't talked to her in years. But I still pray for her everytime I look at a clock and see the time 11:11. I've been reading some more of the ec debates. The more I read, the more I think I have to side with the ec, at least in theory.
Traditional Churches are loosing people left and right. Christians have the Truth, they are the Light, but they continue to do a pretty poor job of winning souls and making disciples. I do not understand why some Christians are so opposed to what they call "The Social Gospel", when Isaiah and Jesus both confirmed that we were going to be judged on whether or not we fed the hungry, clothed the naked, etc. etc. etc. And Jesus's own brother said that faith without works is dead. Can dead faith save? And whats all this fuss about contemplative prayer and meditation. I don't think that Eastern Mystics, or new age mystics invented the idea of Meditation. As far as incense and candles, and smooth shiney rocks...what's the big deal?
Do we take the whole Bible literally? Is Jesus really a rock? or a lamb? or a lion? And are we really to pluck out our eye if it causes us to sin? There would be an awful lot of one eyed pastors if that were literally the case.
Who do we say Jesus is? We cannot compromise that! Is the Bible the living word of God? We can't deny that. But I read a lot of EC who have NOT rejected the living Word of God. Sin is Sin,
and sinners are lost...but all have sinned, and all continue to sin...no one is perfect.
I believe we are supposed to discern, to study to prove, to speak up and defend the truth!!!
But I will try to quote a comment I just read, Can't you see that your committment to scripture has actually become your committment to your own reading of scripture...can't you tell the difference?

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Oh How I Love to Worship the LORD!

I’ve been studying the gospel of John. John 6:44 says that no one can come to Jesus unless the Father “draws” him. Since I personally do not believe that God has prechosen from before time began, who He would draw and who He would not draw, but rather that He draws each and every living soul to Himself and His Son, I needed to devote some time to these passages, and since I don’t like to take Scripture out of context, I actually started at John 1:1 “In the beginning…”. Then I got distracted by the Samaritan woman in chapter 4 and the question of worship. Oh, How I love to Worship the LORD! Jesus told the woman at the well that the day would come, and has now come, when the true worshipers will worship in spirit and truth. Now what exactly does that mean? Oh, I am sure there are people out there who can “explain” it to me. The same way they can explain to me that in Genesis 6:7, God wasn’t really sorry that He had made man, as if He were surprised that every choice they made was for evil, or in Exodus 32:14, the LORD didn’t really relent because of Moses’s intercession…they can explain what that really means. Back to the Samaritan woman…spirit and truth. Funny that worship seems to be a question of personal preference, a personal thing, when it is supposed to be a God thing. Who is worship for anyway? For our entertainment, or to be a sweet offering to our God? Spirit and Truth?

Someone, somewhere claimed to know what “style” of worship God preferred. They were criticizing a particular form (was it Taizae or Rock?) and said that it was not “Biblical Worship”. I asked, just what is Biblical Worship? The kind our LORD prefers, the kind He demands? Spirit and Truth. Lets see? How many different types of worship have I participated in since becoming a Christian? I won’t go into my pre-worship of false gods here. There was the very formal worship in the United Methodist Church, pipe organ, choir robes, and hymns. I confess, Pastor Art and I were instigators in the “Bring Guitars into the Sanctuary” debate. We actually led the youth in a powerful rendition of Don Fransico’s “He’s Alive” one Easter Sunday. (but the kids did wear Choir robes). There were the weekly chapel services at the Evangelical, Charismatic, Nondenominational Christian School I taught at for 6 years, complete with dancing and tongues. Can’t forget the “March for Jesus” events, worshiping through the city streets of Rochester, NY. I worshiped the LORD at a Billy Graham Crusade, a Petra Concert, a Funeral Service for a two year old at a Catholic church. I’ve worshiped with Pentecostals, Mennonites, Homeless people, children, the elderly, even Baptists. I’ve worshiped in tents, auditoriums, tiny little chapels on the Navajo reservation, huge multimillion dollar mega churches, summer camps and living rooms. To worship the LORD in Spirit and Truth. Maybe “Spirit” means where your heart is. Blessed are the poor in spirit. Worship is for God, not to make us feel good, not to make us feel comfortable. Our heart must be focused on God, Creator of the Universe, the Great I AM! We must know and love Him who we worship. That could be the truth part. Are we worshiping the God of Exodus 20:1-6? I’ve never been “slain in the Spirit” and I’ve never seen gold dust fluttering down from Heaven. I have had an occasional vision during worship but nothing to build a theology around. On many occasions, in many different settings, I have had an overwhelming sense of the presence of God and on some occasions I have had a check in my spirit that something just wasn’t right. I’ve been to churches where the worship felt so good, but the message was so unbiblical that I felt as if I had been violated. Currently I am worshiping with an AOG church that is about 90% Navajo. Sometimes the music is a little loud. We have a lot of drums (not the pow wow type). I’m on the dance team which is part of the worship team but we don’t dance at every service as a team. Our songs are mostly original, very scriptural, pretty rocky, very upbeat. We use banners and “glory hoops”. We stand and we clap and sometimes some of us go to the alter and cry. Some very opinionated people might think that this style of worship is more worldly than Biblical. Some people don’t like it. But it’s not a question of whether or not people like it. I think there may be people in the congregation who are not worshiping in Spirit and Truth. I believe there are many people in many different kinds of churches who are not worshiping in Spirit and Truth. But I believe the ultimate judge of whether a particular style of Worship is pleasing to God, is of course God. This is not a question of “to each his own.” This is a matter of “To God be the Glory” and I doubt very much God, who through the beauty of His creation demonstrates His love for diversity, is glorified by only one style of worship.

Saturday, May 14, 2005

Morning Meditation

I once heard John MacArthur teach on this book and the teaching led me to doubt my salvation. See, he believes that Sovereignty means never changing and all knowing, therefore He knows, not only knows, but chooses which human being is destined for heaven and which one is destined for hell. As one blogger said (tongue in cheek) “some are keepers and some are throw aways.” At least that’s what I understand from listening to him. And when He got to 1st John 5:14,15 “and this is the confidence which we have before Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us, and if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests which we have asked from Him.” John MacArthur actually said that if we are one of the elect, our prayers will be answered, if our prayers go unanswered, then we probably are not really “saved.” So there I sat, at one of the most desperate times of my live, when my whole world was crashing in around me, thinking, surely if I were saved, this wouldn’t be happening. Not to me, not to my family, not to my son. I’m not talking about death, some terrible life threatening disease. Death I could deal with, death has no lasting sting for those who trust the LORD and have the hope and assurance of eternal life. This was, is, worse than death. And if God is sovereign, the way MacArthur and the likes teach about sovereignty, He not only allowed this crisis, He willed it, it was part of His Divine plan. And any God that would do that was just plain mean! But the message of 1st John is that God is Love. God is Light, there is no evil in Him, in His plan, or in His intent, no darkness…He Himself is the propitiation for our sins and not for ours alone but also for those of the whole world.
The one who loves his brother abides in the light and there is no cause for stumbling. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE…The command we must follow is Love God, Love each other. We are not to practice sin, but when we sin we are to take it to the Father through our Advocate Jesus Christ…
And I know, God does answer all prayers! Sometimes He says yes, Sometimes He says no. Sometimes He says wait, not yet. Sometimes we are like children begging our abba for cookies when He is busy fixing dinner…my son’s analogy. God has done a terrible, wonderful thing giving us a free will. Like any good parent, He lets us makes mistakes, hopes that we learn from them, and is there to offer comfort, advice, assistance when we get in trouble. He wants us to reason with Him, to be persistent in prayer, and to listen for His guidance. When we stray, He waits for us to figure out our mistake and like the prodigal’s father, He runs to meet us half way when we head for home. He gives every human a chance to come to Him, He calls every human by name. Some say yes, some say no. Some heard His voice as in the whirlwind, when no missionaries had yet come to them. Acts 17: 26 - 27
He made from one every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, that they should seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and Find him, though He is not far from each one of us…” Lately some bloggers out there have suggested that I am a heretic, or at least that I believe like one. I have been called a new age mystic, mostly because I see nothing wrong with using visual metaphors, to illustrate or demonstrate certain truths. I’m a teacher, and I have been criticized because I wouldn’t agree that all pubic schools are evil and all church/Christian schools are good. It has been suggested that I work within the antichrist system since I currently teach in a public school. I feel as if I am being condemned, but in Jesus there is no Condemnation. I have been a Christian for 25 years. I’ve been in and out of the refiners fire, I have grown steadily in the wisdom and knowledge of the LORD. I know the Bible and I believe in it.
I am not an expert, but I know how to check things for myself, I have a husband who can go back to the Greek and Hebrew texts when I have a serious question, and not just to Strongs Concordance. I don’t need someone to tell me what the Word means. I can read it for myself. I think I will stay away from those sights that list all the bad things, and never seem to focus on the good. I’ll stick with Philippians 4:8 for a while. My husband always “hated” that verse because it was too “sugar sweet” and often used by people as a platitude, as if that were all there was to being a Christian. Like those who never go beyond the beatitudes or John 3:16...but for now, it is really all I need…
Finally brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything is worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.
Time to go outside and enjoy this glorious spring day!

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Saturday Afternoon

As Open Bible Standard Churches and the mission statement of Gateway of the Rock Ministries puts it, “We believe the Bible is the inspired and living Word of God and is the only infallible guide and rule of our Faith.” Much is being blogged lately about the Authority of Scripture. Many people are bashing the Bible and many others are using the Bible to bash. Sometimes I feel as if I am observing some sort of Bible Bowl to prove certain doctrines, the one with the most verses wins. I cut this article out of a Bible Believing, Nondenominational, Charismatic church’s bulletin and taped it into the Bible I use most for study. “In II Timothy 2:15 the word says “Study to show yourself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not be ashamed, rightly dividing (handling aright) the Word of God”…The Bible is very amazing in that is was written in different nations and lands over a period of some 1,500 years. No one man or group of men planned the Bible. It was written by more than 35 authors…shepherds, farmers, tentmakers, physician, fishermen, philosophers and kings. These authors lived hundreds of miles apart and some of their lives were separated by centuries. Most never saw each other at all. Yet the Bible has a close fitting unity, as if one author wrote it, which is indeed the case. II Peter1:21 “ for the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man, but holy men of GOD spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost.” The Bible has been translated into more than 1,100 languages and dialects…it has transcended all national and ethnic boundaries…” It is for these reasons that I can say with certainty that I believe the Bible is true, it is what it says it is. And it is these reasons I offer when some nonbeliever asks what makes the Bible right and all those other religious books wrong. The Bible is truly unique.
Back when I was a doubter and a seeker, I looked into the history of the Bible. Wasn’t it just a book after all? What made it more trust worthy than any other “spiritual” book? It has existed in the same form that we have it, from Genesis to Revelation, since just before 400AD. But couldn’t some man have written it, putting prophecies in the Old Testament and then writing their fulfillment in the New Testament? Everything did seem to fit together pretty well, but that doesn’t mean they’re God inspired. Couldn’t it just be a big fraud. After all isn’t that what Christians say about the Book of Mormon? What convinced me was the discovery of the Dead Sea Scrolls and Isaiah 53. I believe that God gave us the book of Isaiah twice. Once, when it was written, and again in the mid 1900’s when everything about God and Church was being questioned big time. No other book of the Old Testament contains more vivid prophecies of the Messiah fulfilled by our LORD Jesus Christ. And we have physical, scientific proof, that these things were written before the birth of Christ. Yes. I believe that the Bible is the inspired and living Word of God and it is the only infallible guide and rule of my Faith. But hold on to your hats. I do not believe that it is to be taken in it’s entirety literally. Within its pages are analogies, metaphors, figurative language, parables, colloquialisms, and even sarcasms. Vanity vanity, everything is vanity. And I also believe that Christians are free to express their faith, to offer their worship, to celebrate their individuality in ways that may not be Biblical. What I am saying for example is drums, guitars, pianos, and organs are not mentioned in the Bible, but that doesn’t mean they are forbidden by the LORD. Putting on plays, playing games, wearing tee shirts that identify you as a believer, using visual metaphors to help illustrate the truth to visual learners, tokens and trinkets and incense and candles…no wait, incense and candles are mentioned in the Bible. Anyway, my point is that just because you can’t point to chapter and verse doesn’t mean it is of the devil. And oh, we must be careful not to use chapter and verse to condemn what we find personally offensive. This is not a contest in which the one with the most verses wins. The word of God is sharper than a two edged sword, and it is a weapon to use against the fiery darts of the enemy, not to be used against each other. Who do they say Jesus is? Then get off their case!
And while I am at it…the question of doctrine, false and true teaching (again I ask, who do they say Jesus is?). Suppose the Bible was a big puzzle? One person takes out all the blue pieces and declares, look the puzzle is blue. Another person takes out all the green pieces and says, no the puzzle is green. Another person takes out a handful of pieces and says, I don’t like these pieces and throws them away. The blue and green people count their pieces and the one with the most pieces says he was right. The one who threw the pieces he didn’t like away will never see the whole picture. The Lord says, my ways are so much bigger than your ways, you’ll never completely understand and the atheist and agnostic looking on says you Christians are nuts.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

No One Seeks God!

I have always steered clear of the foreknowledge, predestination, divine election debate. I turn off the radio, I walk out of the room, I admit I am in denial. I have stated my understanding of this free will vs the sovereignty of God subject elsewhere on this blog site. But today I read the words "no one seeks God" and it really got me going. It's been good. I have been taking notes, looking up verses, I pulled out a Philosophy book, and even now I am praying for wisdom.
Pascal, a philosopher who was a contemporary of Luther, wrote that all people are born with a "God shaped hole". It logically follows that people are born with a desire to fill that hole. And one of the things that makes humans human is that they are from birth on a quest to find purpose, meaning, fulfilment, enlightenment, and yes...Truth. I think everyone seeks God. Philippians 2:12 - 15 "So then my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure. Do all things without grumbling of disputing, that you may prove yourseles to be blameless and innocent children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as light in the world. I see this day and age very crooked and perverse. Yet at the same time I see Psalm 24:6 This is the generation of those who seek Him. Which leads me to Psalm 105:3,4 Glory in His holy name, Let the heart of those who seek the LORD be glad. Seek the LORD and His strength, Seek His face continually...Don't you see? Every living soul, every human soul, from the first to the last are known and loved by their creator. He would not let any child be born, be conceived, whose fate was sealed and whose damnation to a devil's hell was predestined. He didn't want another form of animal that operates on instinct. He wanted family. He wanted children. And He wanted them to chose to love Him. So He gave them a choice. Every human being is predestined to live eternally with God Almighty. Every human being is created with the call of the Father on his heart. But some choose to walk away from that destiny, some choose to fill the hole with conterfiets.
Jesus told us that God was our Father. That He was always willing to forgive, always ready to take us back, to give us another chance. He hasn't wound us up like watchwork toys, He hasn't preprogramed us like a computer/robot. He has given us life and a free will and He interacts with us. Is that heresy? I am not a theologian. Neither is the person who wrote the words that got me started "no one seeks God". I know he has verses to support his statement. But then again, I have verses to support mine. Ecclesiastes 3:11...He has also set eternity in their heart without which man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end. "And the bottom line is Jesus, born, crucified, risen, and coming again. I believe that with all my being. I was seeking truth, I was seeking enlightenment, I called out to Him and He answered, "I am here!" Yes and Amen!

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Just a Word

I know this is a little nuts. But I like to see the time 12:34 on my postings. I've been surfing for the past few minutes. Wasting time really. Found some educator somewhere, responding to posting about an "ungodly" talent show at an evangelical christian school, and I wanted to make a note of his blog site, but I lost it...The depression has sort of lifted, getting together with my sisters in the LORD on the dance team wrecks havic on my feet and hips but does my spirit good. Right now though, I am in denyal. Holding on to an "impossible dream" and ignoring the pile of papers on my desk and the date on my calendar! Blog on!

Monday, May 02, 2005

What Do You Mean You Don't Know My Name?

I am Maryellen. Dear to my husband, Menee to my grandchildren, Mrs. Brokop to my students. I like to write the name: Maryellenbernadetteiachettageniipuffbrokop in my prayer journals. That about covers it. Anyone out there looking for a skinny, longhaired, hippy type named Puff? That was me from about 1972 to 1979. I used to be Puff. And Puff was a dreamer, a seeker, a wanderer. I had been Mary Ellen Bernadette, predestined according to my dear ol' mother to be a nun. I graduated from my all girl catholic highschool with an award for excellence in theology. I won't discuss the ways and means, the causes and curses that led me into the downhill spiral that very nearly killed me. But all the while, I was on a quest. I wanted, I needed to find enlightenment. That's what my guru, my sensai, called it. Enlightenment. I tried it all, from antheisim to zen. I did Katas and Mantras and played with tarot cards and the I Ching. I angered a group of wiccans who wanted me to join their coven, by declaring that they were just as hypocritical as any Christians I had ever met. All the while I had one best friend (dearest bobbie), a grandmother and my aunt the nun who prayed fervently for me. And one night, in August 1979, while I was deep in meditation, the LORD answered their prayers. I stopped chanting for a moment and just took a deep breath. I remember saying (praying) that I really wanted to know the truth, I really wanted to commune with whatever, who ever was out there...and I lamented "But I don't even know your name". Thats when I heard it. A still quiet but audible voice say to me,"What do you mean you don't know my name...I'm Jesus, the same Jesus you learned to pray to as a little girl, and I've been waiting all this time for you to come back to me." That did it. I blew out my candle, I unburied my Bible, and began my walk as a "Christian". I did not go back to the Roman Catholic church, I did go back to Jesus. A lot of stuff followed. Cool stuff, hard stuff, church stuff. Too much to share here and now.
Yeah, incase you're concerned, I did actually say "the sinner's prayer" a few weeks later. I've been water baptized and sometimes I even speak in tongues. I've experienced miracles and I've also, unfortuately, experienced betrayal and back biting by some supposed sincere Chrisitans. But the main thing is that I have a personal and abiding relationship with Jesus, second person of the blessed trinity, born - crucified - ressurected and coming again. And inspite of the troubles (and these days they seem overwhelming) I still say, to God be the Glory, Yes and Amen!

I Timothy 6:3-5

I have used this verse to try to silence some of the malicious talk I have encountered as I have surfed the blog waves...
"If anyone teaches false doctrines and does not agree to the sound instruction of our Lord Jesus Christ and to godly teaching, he is conceited and understands nothing. He has an unhealthy interest in controversies and quarrels about words that results in envy, strief, malicious talk evil suspicions and constant friction...
I would also direct these bickerers to Mark 9, when John said they saw a man driving out demons in the name of Jesus and they told him to stop because he was not one of them..."Do not stop him...No one who does a miracle in my name can in the next moment say anthing bad about me for whoever is not against us is for us..."
So where does doctrine come from anyway? From the OT? From the NT? From the Church? From Martin Luther? What is the gospel, save that Jesus came, Jesus died, Jesus rose from the dead, and Jesus is coming again. And what commandment did Jesus leave us? Love! Oh but that is too simplistic. And yes, Sin is still Sin...Jesus did not die on the cross for nothing...visions of the Passion...for our sins, and yes the ones we yet to committ. Never say "it's under the blood" glibbly.
And still I ask? Why pray to a sovereign God? Why did Jesus say, "Ask and you shall receive"
And on this glorious spring day, why do I feel so downtroddin?