Mary - Mother of Jesus

Holy Week 2008

And I got to portray Mary in the Passion Play of the Four Corners. I have wanted to "play" Mary ever since second grade when Sr. Igneous was casting the St. Monica's School Christmas pageant. Only, there is no cute little baby lying in a manger in this production. Mary doesn't go to the stable in the light of the Christmas star, shining over Bethlehem, she goes to the cross as darkness shrouds Golgotha.

So, I've been thinking a lot about Mary these past few weeks. Mary, the virgin mother, Mary blessed among all women, Mary, with a mother's heart, broken as her son died on the cross of shame, the cross of sacrifice, the cross of salvation.

Mary, who bore the stigma of an unexplained pregnancy. Mary who carried the King of kings within her womb for nine months. Mary, who kissed his little hands and feet, fed him at her breast, cleaned up his messes...who kissed his sweet little baby feet.

I love baby feet.

As Mary, I begin the play by retelling the words of the Angel Gabriel: the holy child, born unto you, will be called the "Son of God". And then, 8 acts later, I go to the cross.

I push past the guards to get to my dying son. I can only reach his feet. His bloody feet. I need to let him know I am there, like I was when he was a baby, and needed to be fed or cleaned. Those feet...those precious feet...my son, my son!

The crucifixion is an event out of time. it was the moment of salvation for people in the past, present, and future. But at that moment in time, it meant something different than it does to most Christians today. For some people it was the solution to a problem - he wouldn't be causing trouble any more. For some people it was the hopeless end to a beautiful promise. They couldn't see Resurrecton Sunday like we can. and for Mary, although she knew He was the Messiah, at that moment it was only and tragically the death of her first born son.

As I prepared for that scene, I offered it up as a living sacrifice to the Prince of Peace who died a violent death for the sake of every mother and every mother's son. When I was at the cross, there was nothing in my mind except Jesus and His mother Mary. I didn't worry about audience, or costums, or lines. I'm so glad the story doesn't end at the cross. I got to go to the empty tomb. Another angel..."Why seek the living among the dead?" And as Mary, I get to run through the audience and onto the stage, into the upper room, declaring with Peter and the others, "He's Alive" as our play ends with Don Francsicos' song "He's Alive"

I was overjoyed to have had the chance to play this role. And humbled.

I pray that somehow, in some small way the LORD used me to make the passion of our Christ more real to some hurting mother or rejected child. This production is more than just entertainment, so much more. It is one of the most real things I have ever done. May God bless and prosper Passion Play Ministries International! Christ has died, Christ has risen (He is risen indeed) and Christ is coming again!

The pictures are Scene one, Palm Sunday - "Rabi" Art in the back ground. And Mary at the Cross.

Nearly 1/2 of our regular attenders were in the play. And our Easter was blessed as well. I'm on Spring Break - so perhaps I will have some real blogging time the next few days....love and prayers to you all.

Holy Week Update

Our friend Beverly reminded me that is has been a long time since I have written any sort of update here. There are three reasons why.
1. Work - I’ve been transitioning from being a special education teacher to being a (praise the LORD) regular ed. English teacher. But I’ve been having to do both jobs for a while which is just a little stressful. And then there was the standardized testing for 2 weeks. Urrrg…
2. Passion Play - ever since we moved to the Four Corners, nearly 10 years ago, Passion Play Ministries has played a big part in our lives. This year our rehearsal season was much shorter than usual because Easter comes so early. There are 10 people from our church in the play this year. And I get to portray Mary, the Mother of Jesus. For anyone not familiar with the ministry (PPMI - Passion Play Ministries International), the play runs from March 17 to March 22 - I play Mary Wednesday and Friday. It is at the Farmington Civic Center and there are over 16 churches involved this year.
3. Ministry - things are going rather slowly, attendance has leveled out to an average of 14 (we had 16 today) and we are fighting discouragement.
We continue to pray for wisdom - how best can we use what we have to the glory of His name! And provision - we need a sign (I mean one of those electric signs where you can change the message - Sam’s Club sells them for $400), and a tractor (hoping to rent one over spring break) to properly take care of the weeds and prepare the soil to plant the community garden, our fellowship hall needs to be remodeled, a stove was donated but we need to rent a trailer to get it, and it would be nice to have a men’s and ladies room that wasn’t attached to our living quarters. Not that we’re complaining. We also pray for people…Sheep and Shepherds. Not many families have been coming to our Tuesday food pantry lately, which is sort of ok because we lost our distributor in Albuquerque and what we have comes from our church family and our friends at Christ Church in Farmington. Today we challenged the church to take one of the food boxes we have packed for our Tuesday food pantry and just go to a gas station or one of the dollar stores, pray for the LORD to show them a family in need and give it to them in His name. One of them came back for two more boxes because it was so fun blessing people.
Easter is Coming - Resurrection Sunday!
We’re having a Sonrise service and bonfire at 6:30am followed by breakfast. After our regular worship service at 10:30, we’re going to a nearby park for an Easter Egg Hunt. The Brokop family Easter Dinner will be in the fellowship hall and we’re inviting any one who wants to stay. We’ve put up posters in the Laundry-matts, printed up little cards to use to invite friends. I’m praying for 30.
Well it’s time for evening vespers. The two pictures are of our kids planting roses in front of the fellowship hall and part of our worship team. Thanks for your continued interest and prayer. If you want to receive our snail mail newsletter, email me your address, if your want to donate to the cause, make the checks out to Free Methodist Church of Farmington. Our snail mail address is PO Box 6132 Farmington, NM.
May God bless us, everyone. He is Risen! He is Risen in deed!

January 2008

We've been invited to Glendale Free Methodist Church on January 6, and I will be giving a "short" testimony. So, I'm gonna write it out so I can read it and keep it short. The picture is of a poster on the door of an old church in Oak Springs Arizona. Our church is called the Church at Farmington, because the mission complex used to be a hub for serveral little churches on the Navajo Rez. There was the Church at Sanoste, the Church at TesNosPas, the Church at OakSprings, and of course the Church at Farmington. The Oak Springs Church has been inactive for quite some time, but the matriach of the family who used to lead it found out that we were back at the mission and asked us to come out and do a Christmas service. Dirt floor, wood burning stove, 17 people sharing a meal, singing carols, saying AMEN to Pastor Art's message about the Savior coming to the Nations, and the Nations coming to the Savior...But for me, the old poster on the door said it all...another confirmation of our Isaiah 61 mission. And it was such a blessing to be able to bless!

Here's my "testimony"

Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desire of your heart." That is somewhat of a dangerous verse when we take it out of context. Like "Ask and you SHALL receive" or "whatsoever you ask the Father..." It could lead a person to say..."I tried the Jesus way...it just doesn't work for me." Or worse yet, "I prayed and prayed, and He isn't answering my prayers...I guess I'm not one of the elect. I must be one of those born predestined for damnation." I've encountered and counseled several individuals who made such statements. Over the years, I've learned that when one claims one of the many promises in the Bible, she must first really understand it in context. And after reading the whole of Psalm 37, which tells us three times not to fret, and encourages us to trust, do good, be still and wait patiently, I've come to look at the promise a bit differently.
9 years ago, my family was living in a tiny apartment in front of a worn out building known as "the dorm" on the American Indian Bible Ministry complex. We had been called to pastor the Church at Farmington, a tiny, multicultural Free Methodist church on the grounds. And after 6 months we were told we had to leave, to give up that ministry which we had come to love, and find another place to live. I won't go into the complex reasons why, but I will say I was doing a lot of fretting. And my patience was really running thin as we searched unsuccessfully for a place to move. I remember one sunny February afternoon, sitting on our little front porch, tears dripping into my coffee, when one of my sons came home from school and asked what was wrong. After my lament he wisely observed, "Mom, you're asking God for cookies while He is preparing a feast." Oh but the Bible says, "Ask and you shall receive, Seek and you shall find...Delight in the LORD and He will give you the desire of your heart.
He will give you the desire of your heart. I think this means, not that He is going to grant your wishes, but that He is going to put into your heart that which He wants you to desire. Remember how, on Thanksgiving Day, you walk into the kitchen where the feast is being prepared and the wonderful smell makes you anxious to eat. Or how the fragrance of fresh baked bread makes you long for a piece. That is the kind of desire I'm talking about. For the 9 years between that afternoon on my porch and last summer, my hearts desire was to "minister on the mission". And Isaiah 61 was the fragrance that kept that desire burning.
It had been prayed over us when we left New York to go to Denver, and again when we left Denver to minister in Farmington. And once seeing the mission complex, walking the grounds, every time I heard someone preach from that chapter, at a tent meeting, on the Radio or Television, from Rochester NY to Rapid City SD, I'd think of the mission and the desire burned like longing for fresh baked bread. I could almost taste it. Sometimes I could actually see us there, Preaching to the Poor, Binding up the broken hearted, proclaiming freedom for the captives, release those bond in darkness, planting to deisplay His Splendor, Rebuilding, Restoring, Renewing...I could see fields and vineyards, and a people the Lord had blessed, righteous worship and praise springing up before all nations. I often asked the LORD to take this impossible dream away from me. My practical husband would tell me, "it ain't gonna happen" each time I would tell him I still thought we were meant to be ministring at the Mission on the Bisti through and with the Free Methodist denomination. On January 17, 2007, I wrote in my prayer journal that if I could have anything I wanted, I would want us to be ministering at "the mission". And on June 24 we were commissioned to do just that. I still fret. After years of poor stewardship and poor pastoring, we have quite a job ahead of us, and sometimes it doesn't seem to be happening fast enough. But we can not limit the LORD to our concept of time. When He begins a work, He is faithful to complete it. And when we delight in Him, He will give us the desire of our hearts. Last week we were invited to do a Christmas service at a little church on the reservation, one of the churches that used to be assosiated with the AIBM. It had been inactive for quite some time, but the ShiMa, the matriarch of the family found out we were back at the mission and wanted us to come out. The building has a dirt floor, a wood burning stove, and out houses in the back. It hadn't been used for quite some time, but on the door was a weather beaten poster of Isaiah 61: 1,2. "The Spirit of the LORD is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor, He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives, and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor..." Ah, the smell of fresh baked bread.

December 2007

I have always loved the Christmas Season, and this year has been the best ever! I've just posted some pictures of some of the holiday events at The Free Methodist Church at Farmington. On the first Sunday of Advent the children made angel ornaments for the little tree in the foyer. They also decorated the tree in the Fellowship Hall as we discussed the Christian roots of familiar Christmas symbols. On December 8 we had a Christmas outreach. Pastor Art tried his hand at making fry bread, dressed up as "Bishop Nicholas", and drummed up business as the kids made crafts, and the parents picked out gifts in the "It's A Wonderful Life Gift Shop" (nothing cost more than ten cents). The advent wreath was a focal point of every service in December, St. Nick made another appearence at our December 23rd service - and oh yeah. We had a Christmas Eve wedding. We received many Christmas blessings from churches and ministries around the country. In turn we were able to bless many individuals and families through out the season. But always, Jesus was the center of the festivities. We had a birthday party for the King of Kings, cake and icecream and a moment to reflect on what we could give Him for His birthday. Some of us caroled at the local hospitol, we delivered gifts to an Angel Tree child of a prisoner. And we're not finished yet. Our Christmas will extend until Jan. 6th - traditionally "The Three Kings Day". And we are all looking forward to the new year. An Isaiah 61 year - the Year of the Lord's favor. And so, today, December 27 - the third day of Christmas, I pray for wisdom, provision, shalom, people to share our vision, people to come out of the darkness, and May God Bless Us, Everyone!

Christmas Images

This young lady is part of one of the families that we delievered groceries from our emergency food pantry to. I was very surprised (and blessed) to see that she was wearing a T-shirt from my home town - Rochester, NY. Just recently her cousin, mom, auntie, and grandma came in to the mission to help with our Christmas outreach. Yummy! Fry Bread and Navajo Tacos. And get a load of Pastor Art, drumming up business for our Christmas event, dressed like Ol' St. Nick.

A Monday Morning on the Bisti

Praying in the morning,
Driving a winding road through a barren land
But the rising sun behind me
Be it a goldent sunrise,
Or rosey red
Paints the rocks, the mesas, and the distant mountians
in such shimmering shades and deep shadows...
This is the definition of awesome - the definition of vast
Glory be to God, Creator of Heaven and Earth
Look there! a flock of sheep
The Lord is my Shepherd
Look there! a herd of cattle
The Lord owns the cattle on a thousand hills
Look there! a formation of geese landing on the power plant's pond
and there! bright eyed children waiting for the yellow bus
and there! a noble man upon a noble beast - riding out to greet the dawn.
Glory to God, Creator of this all.
This land is not my birth place, but it is my home
And it is my joy and duty to be praying over it and through it
while driving down this winding road.

Update - December 1

This has been an encouraging 2 weeks. On the Sunday before Thanksgiving we had 18 people in church: family, friends, and visitors. A nice intergenerational (from 3 weeks to 63) and multicultural mix. Surprisingly we only had one family come to our food pantry that Tuesday. On Wednesday we had an early Thanksgiving Feast for family and friends of the ministry. Sixteen Pilgrims and Indians, mostly Indians. Our younger son cooked dinner on Thursday and it was his birthday as well, so we put candles on the pumpkin pie. We had so much to be thanksful for this year. Last Sunday there were 17... Communion and Pot Luck. The kids made angels for the little Christmas tree in the foyer. This week they will decorate the tree in the fellowship hall while they learn the spiritual meanings behind familiar holiday symbols. This past Tuesday we put up Christmas lights - now our little mission shines brightly in the cold dark nights. And several families, one with 8 kids, came to the food pantry. The best part of it all is that a friend and brother, who was raised on this complex, but who has been having a crisis of faith for a long time, has started coming to church, and talking with Pastor Art. A lost sheep has found his way home. We have a big Christmas Outreach planned for next Saturday, December 8. And our Prayers for provision are increasing as the Holidays approach and heating costs rise, and more people need help. Yet we continue, with those simple steps of obedience, trusting God. After all, this is His ministry - and He is faithful. May God bless us - everyone.

Some Immediate and Long Term Needs

Dolls, Trucks, and Basket Balls - needed by December 7

Blankets for the Elderlies

I did have hats and mittens on the list, but by the time I sat down to type it up, we just got a large donation of nice winter sets - praise the LORD!

A small TV, VCR, DVD combo unit

I was just thinking, if that one family, with 8 kids, who came to the food pantry, decided to make our Church their Church, we'd need another kids' room. Our long range plan includes getting a modest double wide put on the property for pastor housing, so we can convert the apartment part of the main building back into classrooms. Right now we are using the fellowship hall for kids church, but could soon need a pre-school room, kids' klass, and youth room. Well - God knows and God will provide, all within his perfect timing. Thanks be to God!

for our new friends:

our contact information is

The Free Methodist Church at Farmington

PO Box 6132

1275 Bistin Highway (371)

Farmington, NM 87499

(505)325-4496

artandme@juno.com

She Put Them Under Her Pillow

I struck up a conversation with one of the custodians at my school a few months back. She was anxious because her daughter, expecting her second baby, was over due. When she was out of work a few days, I surmised that the little one had finally arrived. And when I found out it was a little girl, I put together a gift bag of hand knit booties, a blanket and sweater and brought it to school. I hadn‘t done the knitting. Some blessed women, from another state sent a bunch of such cozy items to the mission. We still haven’t built up a very large congregation. Some people still believe the place to be abandoned. But I’m not going to just let those donations sit and collect dust. I told the grandma the gift was from our church. A few weeks later I was given a thank you card and small gift bag from the baby’s shower. Then she brought the little family in to meet me. Three generations. Proud Grandma, Stoic Mother, beautiful baby girl with thick black hair and bright eyes. And, hiding behind grandma was a cute little, barely three year old sister. So another gift box came. More donations to the Indian Mission. This time there were several pairs of children’s shoes, and some brand new socks. Sometimes new babies get all the attention, so I decided that a nice new pair of shoes and socks might be a nice gift for big sister.
I checked with grandma first. I didn’t want to offend them. Then I put together another gift bag, with the shoes, socks, and a little story book. Yesterday Grandma told me that the shoes were a little big, growing room, and that the little girl was so excited about them that she insisted upon sleeping with them under her pillow.
The 7th grade English teacher had the students write a journal entry about a gift they received that they didn’t like. Most of the class was pretty confused. A gift they didn’t like? How could there be such a thing? Give thanks with a grateful heart! Happy and Blessed Thanksgiving!

First Sunday of November

Hard to believe we are starting our fifth month at 1275 Bisti Highway. It is slow going. We are dealing with years of poor stewardship and Ezekiel 34 shepherding. Our average attendance is 14. We have had our first Baptism. We are praying and singing and trusting.
Getting reading to send out a newsletter. Putting signs up in the Laundry Matts. Lighting the lights and opening the doors and trying to be faithful with the little so that God will give us the more. More sheep and more shepherds.
Yesterday was a wonderful day. It was clear and crisp, blue and gold. We haven’t had very many people coming to our Tuesday food distributions. So I asked a sweet Christian gentleman, who is a substitute teacher at my school, if he knew any families that needed some groceries. He gave us three names and we delivered food boxes Saturday morning.
The families lived on the reservation. It was a blessing to give.
One of the young ladies in one of the homes, where three generations lived, was wearing a tee shirt from my home town - Rochester, NY. She let me take her picture and I’ll post it when I get the film developed. One of the churches in Farmington, that we fellowship with, and worship with at their Saturday evening services, donated $300 to our Church. They also collected food for our food pantry. My granddaughter helped me put out hats and mittens for our distribution after church today.
I’ve recently realized something. We were at an event sponsored by Passion Play Ministries International (PPMI) which has its headquarters in Farmington. We’ve been part of the ministry for the 9 years that we have been in the area, and we were discussing its value and uniqueness. Passion Play gives a lot of people a chance to minister through drama. People who might not otherwise be offered the chance to minister. I think our little church will be like that. It already is. The people who stuffed our treat bags for the parade, and rode on the float, or walked beside it handing out candy and singing praises to the LORD aren’t the type of people found ministering in most churches. The family of women, deep in poverty, to whom we delivered a food basket, have volunteered to make fry bread for a fund raiser, Navajo Tacos (yum) probably will be part of our Christmas outreach. Our “poor” people bring food for the food pantry, and show up to serve when called upon. We have a small core group who want a chance to do something for the LORD. Widows, orphans, captives, prisoners, who will be called oaks of righteousness, who will help rebuild the ruins…Isaiah 61.
It is slow going, but we are not discouraged. We need prayer - we continue to pray for wisdom, provision, shalom, and people. God knows full well what people we need and where they are. We will pray that they will find their way to us, and trust enough to commit. God’s will be done. And so, tis almost time for our evening service. It is usually just Pastor Art and I praying. And that is ok. The lights are on and the doors are open. To God be the Glory!

Shiprock, October 6, 2007

Many little hands working together to prepare treat bags and flowers for our float.

And they didin't even "sneak" any of the candy for themselves. Each treat bag had a drawing and the name of a familiar hymn in Navajo on the outside, and some candy and an invitation to church on the inside. Our goal was 1500, but we only finished 900. Next year we will start sooner.

This is the Tse Bit Ai Middle School band (where I teach) practicing for the parade.

by 6:00 am it was bumper to bumper traffic into Shiprock. Cars and trucks and half finished floats, moving at a snail's pace. Many families had staked their claims along the parade route, some acutally camping out on the side of the road.

Waiting, watching, floats and bands, 200 entries.

putting the finishing touches on our float.

There were 19 of us working on the float, setting up the sound system. We had hot chocolate, cookies, and a lot of fun.

This is it. One of many musical floats. Ready to go.

Three of our little ladies getting ready to hand out treat bags.

Some of us walked, handing out candy and singing along with the group. "Something about the Name of Jesus, Something 'bout His holy name"

Just a view of the crowd. Over 100,000 people. We ran out of treat bags real quick, but the music kept on for the full three miles.

Was it worth it? By the end of the parade we were cold and tired. But the name of the LORD was proclaimed and we had a lot of fun.

September 2007

As we begin our third month of ministry at the little church on the Bisti, we are blessed and encouraged. We are comfortably settled into our apartment and trusting that we will be able to get a heating system installed before the cold weather sets in. At least the heater and cooler work in the sanctuary.We are looking forward to the first weekend in October and the Shiprock Fair, the largest fair on the Navajo Nation. We will have a float in the Parade, which is seen by over 100,000 people. That Sunday we will be dedicating our Emergency Food Pantry, and we are planning a "Worship like a Warrior" conference as a follow up to the fair. We are hoping to let the community know there is something fresh and vibrant going on here, at the Eastern Gate of the Navajo Reservation. Right now our greatest need is for equipment to work on the grounds, a perhaps a small tractor. We want the place to look more inviting, and the weeds have been allowed to takeover the grounds. Maryellen, Ardy and Jeremiah have been tackling them with hoes and weed wackers, but the weeds are winning. We are also looking at some nice little cabin type trailers to replace the broken down buildings, in which to housemission teams and/or to use for emergency housing. It will probably be some time before we see that happen. But we continue to claim Isaiah 61 as our mission statement and to trust in the LORD! Please do continue to keep us in prayer.Sincerely, in His Service to His People Pastor Art and Maryellen

lunar eclipse

this is the second night in a row that the LORD has woken me up around 2:00am to take the short walk across the courtyard into the Sanctuary to pray. I've awoken with a song in my heart. Last night it was "come, now is the time to worship", tonight it was "Jesus, all for Jesus". There is a clear sky over the Four Corners, after a day of unusually heavy rain. And the full moon is being eclipsed. I would have missed it if He hadn't woken me up. The heavens declare His glory. just thought I'd mention it. I'm going outside again to watch.

Prayer at Dawn

Native Flute and Buffalo Drum

Ezekiel 36, prayed in the Sanctuary from the English and Navajo Bible.

Mountains of Israel, hear the Word of the LORD…
Sacred Mountains of Dine’Tah, hear the Word of the LORD...

Then we walked to a place from where we could see the ministry buildings, the mesas to our south, the Bisti highway, and the trees that grow along the SanJuan River - our eastern border. It was Julia Redhouse, our Navajo worship leader, and myself at first because Pastor Art had to change his shoes. You do NOT walk our land in Sandals. God hasn’t replaced the brier and thorns with fir-trees and myrtle yet (Isa 55:13)
Julia spoke out what I was thinking, this particular spot would be perfect for a Hogan shaped church. When Pastor Art joined us, he looked around for a moment and said, “wouldn’t this be a perfect place for a Hogan Church?”.
As Julia prayed, both in Navajo and English, she asked that the LORD would make the vision for our ministry to come into being, or that if were not from Him, that He would take it from her. Over the past nine years I have often prayed the same prayer. Crying out to the LORD, when He again and again brought this complex to my mind, showed me what could and should be accomplished here. “Why are you showing me this, if it is an impossibility?”
“Lord, if this vision is not from you, than take it away.” He never did.
Now, as we pray for wisdom, provision, people (both to serve and be served) and Shalom, I am awed and humbled that He has put us here, to restore what the enemy has stolen. Let His will, and only His will be done here.
One more thing about this mornings early morning prayer. Julia said this place was a graveyard of gossip. And we prayed that that curse would be removed.
And then Pastor Art prayed his morning song on the native flute while Julia beat on the buffalo drum. Yes LORD and Amen.

Sunday Morning

I am so happy to be living this life again. Getting ready for Church on Sundays is such a pleasure. Preparing the Sanctuary and Fellowship Hall, and even the restroom. Singing and praying as I go about the business. Kingdom business. I’ve been working on the court yard. It still needs a lot of work. I was thinking that if I had a few extra thousand dollars, I’d pay the local Mennonites to do the landscaping, but then there are more pressing needs. I can do the yard work, with the help of my sons, for now at least. This morning as I was unlocking the doors and opening the gates, an Indian rode by on a horse. For my northeastern friends I should add that he was not wearing feathers or carrying a bow and arrow. Actually he was dressed like a cowboy. We greeted each other and I smiled. Dear God in heaven, bless him. Bless all the people, from all the tribes tongues and nations that ride by this ministry complex day after day (most of them are in cars and pickups). Bring us the lost sheep, and the shepherds who will help us care for them. And a thousand thanks Abba Father, for entrusting us with this ministry. May your will be done!

Rocks, Trees, and Little Birds

Tse Bit’Ai is the Dine’ word for Shiprock, which loosely translated means “Rock with Wings.” I teach at Tse Bit’Ai Middle School.
This morning, I spent 2 sweaty hours pulling weeds in a small, triangular area of the courtyard between the Church building and the Fellowship Hall.
Yesterday, some friends of ours visited our little church. I’d love them to come on a regular basis, but they are well rooted in a church on the Rez and I don’t want to be about stealing sheep from other folds. I work with Mary, and used to dance with her on a dance team at her home church. The family has eaten several holiday dinners with us. I often wondered how many of my northeastern friends could claim that they had “real Indians” at their Thanksgiving dinners? Anyway, I mention Mary and her family, because of an observation they made about the courtyard. When we were here nine years ago, this area was very lovely. Several trees and large bushes. When we moved back, it was overgrown with weeds and thistles, there were only 2 trees, one nearly dead, and it looked pretty sad.
One of the first things I did, when I realized that the LORD was going to allow us to minister here again, was to pull the large weeds that grew along side the church and put bird feeders and wind chimes in the trees. But every time I walked between the Church and home (we live in an apartment behind the fellowship hall) I felt overwhelmed at the extent of work that needed to be done. Yesterday, Al - Mary’s husband - commented on how much he liked at least part of the court yard. It is a sort of “rock garden”. There are large hunks of rock, petrified tree trunks, two Yucca plants (New Mexico’s state flower) and some cacti. Mary liked the wild flowers. I found out that some of the weeds were actually Navajo Tea, that grows wild in this area. I still want to upgrade the area. There are thistles and the kind of weed that “evolves” into tumble weeds. They have to go. (Isaiah 55:13 - Instead of the thorn bush, the cypress will come up, and instead of the nettle, the myrtle will come up.) I prayed that, as I was pulling weeds this morning. And as I pulled dead grasses and choking weeds away from the tree, I thought of how “all the trees of the field will clap their hands” Isaiah 55:12. I thought about just why I wanted the courtyard to look good. About how YHWH took Adam into the Garden of Eden, to cultivate it and keep it (Genesis 2:15) and how I want the people who come to this place to be blessed by it’s beauty and peace. But this morning I was noticing the beauty of each rock and wild flower. I hummed the hymn “On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand”, and thought of how the LORD said that if people didn’t praise Him, the rocks and stones themselves would shout with praise. Yeah, that is a little out of context, but as I weeded around the rocks, and dug out some buried rocks so that their beauty was more visible, I prayed that our little Church would be filled with song again, from people - not rocks. And I was blessed to see the sparrows and humming birds making use of the feeders I put in the tree. God knows each one of them, He knows each one of you, and He knows each one that is being called to come find Him at our little Church. Each widow and orphan. Each prisoner and lost sheep. Each laborer and prayer partner and scared warrior. As I was coming in to take a break and write this, I heard a sparrow chirping at the feeder. As he flew off, he lost one of his feathers which I picked up and put in our vehicle. It is hanging from our mirror along with our symbolic reminders that God loves the Dine’ and is able to “feed” the multitudes. It’s not an eagle feather, like the ones that hang from many Navajo mirrors. But it is a powerful reminder that God knows and God cares.

Rainbows, Thunder, and Sparrows

Last night we were blessed with an awesome, golden sunset that produced a glorious rainbow over the mesas. I always consider a rainbow a blessing, and this was the first one I’ve seen in a long time. A few nights ago there was a tiny, young sparrow on our window sill, sheltering himself from the wind I suppose. I know how he felt. There are several references to sparrows in the Bible. God knows. God knows and God cares…
And the God of glory thunders. It seems that the summer monsoons have arrived early this year. Blessings come, falling on thirsty desert ground. There is hope in the gathering clouds. But there are storms too. We dare not let up on the prayers. Recently a Bishop of the Free Methodist gave a speech which in part answers my friend Bridgett’s question about just what are Free Methodists? You can read the whole speech here http://test.freemethodistchurch.org/pdfs/GCDaily07/GC07_Kendall_PastoralAddress.pdf
“In the 18th century, the Wesley brothers sought simply to return to the doctrines, practices and ministries of the early church, the church of the apostolic era.
They did not innovate as much as recapture the Spirit of the first to be church. Under their anointed leadership the common people — the lost - were transformed by the grace of God. They were empowered to become change agents in their world. Such change provided the content of their mission to preach the gospel to the poor and reform the nation. Likewise, at its inception the Free Methodist Church sought only to recapture the spirit of
“primitive Methodism” and thus “save the church” from decline and death. As the early Free Methodists conformed to the Biblical standard of Christianity and preached the gospel to the poor, they also changed their world.”
A call to minister to the poor. A call to Holiness. An Isaiah 61 call to bind up the broken hearted and preach the good news to the poor. Yes LORD Yes!

Monday Morning

This morning I got up early and walked the land. It was still dark and pretty quiet. I turned on the lights in the Church so perhaps the commuters would take note. After the walk, I sat in front of the ministry complex and waited for the sun to rise. I can see the hospital to the east and the airport to the north. People coming and going. And I pray. My prayer for the ministry, for The Free Methodist Church at Farmington and for the Brokop family is wisdom, provision, and shalom. But this morning I pray for mercy. And I sing “Refiner’s Fire”. I pray for angels to watch over this place, to encamp around it. I open the Bible, the Contemporary English Version today, to Psalm 142 and read “I pray to you, LORD. I beg for mercy. I tell you all of my worries and my troubles and whenever I feel low, you are there to guide me.” One time, about 9 years ago, when we were living in the little building in the back, the building called the dorm, where our son is staying until he can get a place of his own, a stranger came knocking on our door. We could tell he wasn’t trouble, because old Bear, the mission dog (may he rest in peace) wasn’t barking at him. He came in, for a cup of coffee and in our conversation he said something I have never forgotten. He said pastors shouldn’t be so occupied with counting the sheep. Pastors who count the sheep end up falling asleep. Instead, pastors should be about feeding the sheep. That makes sense. Only I wonder about the lost sheep. Those wandering in the dark. If we don’t count the sheep, how do we know whose missing? There were only 8 of us in church this week. The enemy is whispering in my ears the words of David in psalm 142:4
“see, look, you won’t find anyone who cares enough to walk beside you…no one who really cares.” But I will sing out the hymns that come to my heart as I walk the land - Trust and Obey, Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus, and On Christ the Solid Rock I Stand. And I go back to verse three of Psalm 142 - whenever I feel low, you are there to guide me. Yes and Amen. It’s just 6:30 now. I’m gonna have a cup of coffee and go pull weeds. This place needs a lot of work.

Friday the Thirteenth

Not an "unlucky day", but a day full of mercy and grace!

FYI - contact information - The Free Methodist Church at Farmington
PO. Box 6132
Farmington, NM 87499
(505)325-4496

Things are looking up, as long as we keep looking up - forward and upward!

1 Corinthians 16:9

“For a wide door for effective work has opened to me, and there are many adversaries.”
Thank you brother Paul and St. Paul for these words.
This has been a hard week. Last Sunday was Pastor Art’s first official Sunday at the Free Methodist Church at Farmington. Starting with the reading of Psalm 29 in both English and Navajo, ending with apple pie in the fellowship hall, it went very well. But Monday we had to take Art to the hospital, where he reluctantly spent 4 days fighting an infection in his bladder and an inflamed prostate. And although he had every intention of preaching this Sunday, he ended up in emergency.
But he’s feeling much better as I write this, and more at peace. I guess the drive to Durango and the advice/explanation from a doctor who really seemed to understand what was going on helped him, as well as the 16 people who were in our little church today, lifting him up in prayer.
We know that God has graciously opened a door for effective ministry here. He has called us to this place for this time. And there are spiritual forces that are against us, as Wesley said in one of his commentaries, about this verse, “as there must always be where Satan’s kingdom shakes”. The Barney commentary says this is “proof that the enemies of God are alarmed because the gospel is advancing.” So many thanks to all of you who are keeping us in prayer. And glory to God who is stronger than any and all adversaries and whose loving kindness endures forever! This is just a little bump in the road. There are just a few pesky foxes nipping at our heels. We will trust in the LORD. Yes and Amen!

This is the inside of our little church. ofcourse, now the organ on the right has been replaced with Pastor Art's drums. The door leads to the children's church room. We're going to replace the picture with a cross. Our services begin with a reading from the Psalms. This week it was Psalm 29. We read it both in English and in Navajo. And all God's people say "Glory!"

June 30, 2007

Last night we did our first event under the name of our new ministry - The Free Methodist Church at Farmington. We performed music ministry at a little park in the middle of town. There were some glitches at the beginning with a brand new - still in the boxes - sound system (not ours) and miscommunication with the event coordinators. And part of the group didn’t show up, so it was just Art, me, and Julia (a Navajo sister whose group it was, who has agreed to be part of our worship team at church PTL) and two other guys who do country and western hymns. The audience more or less came and went, passing through to other places and stopping to listen. But a handful stayed for the whole thing. There were some street people, one in particular who spent a long time talking to Art as he was setting up, and then to me as they were tearing down the equipment. He was pretty drunk when the music started, but hung out for the whole 2 hours and asked for prayer. I was thinking of the poem I wrote over a year ago, which I am posting again. He said he’d come to church Sunday. We’ll see. At least the seed was planted.
Most of the songs we did were original and several were in Navajo. A challenge for me, but Julie says I’m doing pretty good. We’ll be doing a couple of them tomorrow in Church. Psalm 150 - Let everything that has breath praise the LORD!

Written January 2006

I see you
You are not invisible to me.
I see you all
Walking with your head down,
Dragging you feet, wearing out your souls.
I see you
Vacant men walking past Vacant houses
Men of the Land, who don’t seem to care anymore
about the Land around them
Dry, like the Land you are born to
I see you
Making your way into town
For a drink, for a job, for a change
And making your way home again
To the old mother who still cares
To the old grandmother who still prays for you
To be greeted by a long sad sigh and an open door
I want to say, “hold your head up high”
I want to say, “be the brave you were born to be”
I want to say, “I am sorry.”
I want to cook for you, and sing you songs, and tell you stories
Great Stories, Living Stories
I want to give you a hot cup of coffee on a cold night,
With lots of sugar and a dash of hope.
I want to drive you home
To the son that needs you
To the woman that loves you
And I want to say…
Look past the moon, Look past the stars.
Look past the tent meetings and revivals
Seek God!
He is there waiting
He sees you.
Learn to sing His songs
He is calling you.
Believe His stories
He has a plan for you!
All of you. Each of You.
Walking this Land for a Divine purpose.
He is not the White Man’s God
He is every man’s God
He is not the missionary’s God
He is the People’s God
He formed you, He knows you, He sees you.
You are not invisible to Him.

Morning Has Broken

Glory be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit…
As I woke up to greet the dawn today, to listen to the chorus of birds singing their early morning praises, drinking my coffee and doing my devotions…I realized that it has been just one month since we got the phone call about the “mission”. Were we still interested? Did we think maybe we could? Perhaps this…could be…might happen…we’ll see…
Since then we’ve run into several people from “back then”, had several encounters with people that God obviously sent our way, took a nice trip to Phoenix to meet with the powers that be and it looks like a sure thing. We are humbled, encouraged, and just a wee bit scared. It looks like we have two other couples that might walk this path with us. One of the husbands is capable of handling the money, thank God. The other is very knowledgeable about things like plumbing and heating and septic tanks, thank God. On Wednesday night, since there has always been a Wednesday night service of sorts scheduled, we were at the site. I was puttering around with banners and plants. The one couple stopped by to introduce themselves and see what we were all about. They had helped/served there in the past, but certain events led to their leaving a while back. As we were sharing our vision a gentleman drove up. He was just going to park in our lot to wait for his son to get out of work, but ended up having a nice long chat with Pastor Art and asking for prayer. That is one way this ministry is going to happen. One wanderer at a time. A cup of coffee or a glass of ice tea. An open door and a light in the window. Yeah, we are going to “do church”. It will be interesting to see how the services will evolve. Old time Free Methodist, Navajo, Liturgical, Contemporary, Traditional… We’re also planning on having an emergency food pantry, family night outreaches, and workshops for area (reservation) pastors. And even as I write this, I can’t believe it is now more than just a dream or vision. The LORD is constantly reminding me, He is behind these events, and we can not do any of this outside of His will. So I pray for wisdom, provision, and shalom. I pray, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. I say, Glory be to the Father, Son and Holy Spirit…amen

The Church at Farmington

In the foreground is the church building. The building in the back ground houses the fellowship hall, the future food pantry, Pastor Art's office and our apartment. Now that I know how to post pictures, more will follow. To God be the Glory!

Close Encounters

Today we went out to eat at Golden Corel, and our server was an old student of mine. I remember him well. He had a long beautiful braid down his back, and I was glad to see it was still there. His father was an artist, and had some of his pieces displayed in Washington DC. This kiddo used to get all stressed out whenever his father had to travel to show and/or sell his work. I'd have to show him on the map where he was going and the route he was probably taking. That was back when he was a fourth grader. He graduated from high school this year.
One of the things I remember most is that one time he had a real bad ear infection. He was feeling really sick, and I felt so sorry for him. I told him to tell his mom, so she could take him to the doctor. His reply was, "That's ok, Mrs. Brokop, my parents are taking me to a medicine man this week end." Back then, when I shared that story, some of my friends asked didn't they have enough money to take him to a "real" doctor. They didn't understand that medicine men were much more expensive than a regular doctor. These men sing songs and burn grasses, and often "remove" bones, teeth, arrow heads, and rocks from the bodies of their patients. Matt was from a very traditional family. So imagine my thrill when he proudly told me that he was going to Bible College to become a preacher of the Gospel. On Arpil 13, 2005 I posted an article about another of my students from a very traditional family who was leading a Bible Study in his junior high school. Thank you Jesus for rescuing these beautiful young men from the deep darkness...and for divine appointments. For the last couple of weeks we've had several enounters that have encouraged us. We are closer to going back into ministry now than we have been for years. And we've just barely been able to keep the foxes of anxiety and stress at bay.
So first we run into a family that was part of our first ministry here, the one we may be going back to - nice chat. Then we find out our son's roommate works with a girl that was also part of that church and is excited to hear we may be going back. She doesn't go there anymore, but if Pastor Art is there, maybe...Then we run into a whole pack of folk who were part of Gateway of the Rock Church...and Pastor Art is talking about one of the guys he worked with on the propane trucks, wondering if he could find him and invite him to come to the church, since he had expressed some interest back in December...and who do you suppose knocks on our door Thursday morning, out of the blue? And now Matt. Now that I'd expect him to come to our church, He's happy where he is and doing well...it's just encourageing you know, and like God reminding us, He's there, and He's working things out...Yeah God!

update

I cut and pasted the posting below from the Gateway of the Rock site. On Tuesday, June 11 we will be in Phoenix AZ, meeting with the Superintendent of the Arizona Free Methodists to discuss our proposal for ministry on the "mission". I've been "seeing" this and praying this for many years. I know some of you are already joining us in prayer over this...Thank you, and amen.

Monday, August 22, 2005

Isaiah 61
Prayed over Pastor Art and Maryellen as they became leaders of an Open Bible Standard ministry in the Four Corners region of the USA. Revisited so many times that the page from Maryellen's Bible has fallen out. To Bring Good News to the afflicted, to Proclaim Liberty, the radio minitry could do that, but we lost our sponser last year...the ability to do better desk top publishing would help get the teaching out...we're working on that. To proclaim liberty to the captives and freedom to the prisoners, to comfort those who mourn.That "mandate" means more to us now because of the situation with our own son. We are more sensitive to the needs of the repentant and redeemed felon who faces a world of rejection, and to the mothers (family) of prisoners who live with shame and frustration. There is freedom in Christ for all, and comfort - 2Corinthians 1:3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. But we aren't sure how that will manifest itself in ministry.Perhaps if we actually had a facility, a place from which to minister. A church were freed prisoners could feel safe and accepted, a church where mothers would get the word, your sons have value. Jesus valued them so much that He died on the cross for them. What greater value is there than that?Then they will rebuild the ancient ruins, They will raise up the former devastations and they will repair the ruined cities. So, Maryellen always sees "the mission" when she reads that verse. A facility established in 1952, where we first ministered when we came to this part of the world. There's a tiny church, a fellowship hall from which we could operate a soup kitchen (mutton stew and fry bread?),offices, a workshop and store house, a few run down housing units, and room to expand.But - it's not for sale, and we have no money...Maryellen has seen the run down mission restored...and the vision returns everytime she hears Isaiah 61, But - it's not for sale, and we have no money. We heard a teaching on Isaiah 61 this weekend at a prophetic event, a camp meeting on the Navajo Reservation. And we are still waiting for direction as to where Gateway of the Rock isheading. So, the Lord God will cause righteousness and praise to spring up before all the nations - for all the nations - well, the Four Corners of the USA is a place of gathering of the Navajo Nation, as well as the Hopi, Ute, Apache, Hispanic and ofcourse those of us of European descent - a place where every knee shall bow and every tongue (many tongues) will confess - That Jesus Christ is LORD. Soon and very soon!

May 28, 2009

Isaiah 55
I have often said, that if I could only have one book of the Bible, I would want the book of Isaiah. It is so full of prophecy, promise, poetry and praise. And by estimation, the LORD gave it to us no less than 3 times, perhaps 4 if you count the reformation. The first time these words were shared was nearly 3000 years ago. When Isaiah first heard and saw that which the LORD would have him write. Then, between the councils of the 4th and 5th century and the translating of the original languages into Latin and German and English etc, the people were once more given these beautiful words, these Living Words. Finally, in the mid 20th century, we received it again via the Dead Sea Scrolls. Carbon dated and proven to be written generations before the birth of Jesus, the messianic prophesies are hard to deny. A virgin will give birth, He will be pierced for our transgressions, and one of my favorite to quote to the most severe skeptic “His grave was assigned with wicked men, yet he was with a rich man in his death” (53:9) (See Matt. 27:57-60).
So now, as my husband and I anticipate the possibility of a new ministry, I am reminded of the first chapter I meditated on when we moved to this area a decade ago. The alter Bible was open to Isaiah 55, in the little church where Art was called to pastor. I remembered how it started…”Ho! Everyone who thirsts, come to the waters, And you who have no money, come buy and eat..” I thought it might be a good place to go this week. All things considered.
Every one who thirsts, come to the water…the living water. I never thought that much about water until I moved to a desert. And you who have no money…wine and milk without money and without cost.
That’s one of the visions I have for ministry. A place where the thirsty and weary can stop for a cold drink and find refreshment for their souls as well. “Coffee and Tea Always Free - Now Open - Everyone Welcome!
And a call to the nations. Seek the LORD while He may be found. So I think of how the nations gather here in the Four Corners. Navajo and Apache, Mexican and Anglo, many tribes, tongues, and nations. Reminds me of Acts 17:26 - 27 “and He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for him and find him.”
There is, in that chapter, a well known and often quoted verse. One used especially when something tragic happens - “For my thoughts are not your thoughts nor are your ways my ways declares the LORD, for as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” I take these words, not as an explanation or source of comfort, but rather as a warning to those who think they understand it all better than anyone else. God has given us his living word. He has revealed his will and nature through that word. But there are still mysteries which we will never understand, debates that will never be settled. Who and Why and How does God forgive? Can the predestined wicked actually forsake their ways and return to the LORD?
And then the WORD, the Living Word, Jesus, that goes forth from his mouth and accomplishes what God decided would be accomplished.
Hear the music? You will go out with joy and be led forth with peace,
The mountains and hills will break forth before
And the trees of the fields will clap their hands…
And finally, another desert promise: instead of the thorn bush, the cypress will come up, instead of the nettle, the myrtle will come up, Yes and

Mother's day, but not about mothers...

I’ve been thinking about the “One True Church” lately. For a season, during which I wrote quite a bit, I was considering going back to the Roman Catholic Church. Recently, PBS did an extensive report on Mormonism, and NO, I am not for a second considering going that route. Just pointing out here, that the RC is not the only church out there laying claim to the title “One True Church”. Need I even mention Islam?
The protestant branches of Christianity usually don’t make such exclusive claims, yet each seems to think they are more right, more true to Scripture than the other. And whereas, any serious study of Mormon theology reveals some very serious flaws and all other Christian churches, including of course the RC, agree that although Mormons are usually very nice people, they do not believe that Jesus is what Christians generally believe He is, so are not actually Christian, the Roman Catholics do not teach a false Christ, yet most protestant churches seem to feel that the RC is the great harlot, anti-christ, spawn of the devil, or something like that. Did you follow that sentence? St. Paul would be proud. I got a bit wordy there.
I do not reject the teachings of the Roman Catholic Church. In fact, I much rather listen to the teachings on EWTN (the Catholic Network) than TBN. I find less heresy there, and more intellectual, less emotional instruction. Less tickling of the ears. More in depth study of the Scriptures, Church Fathers, and early church.
I still find the Rosary a little hard to take. But then, it’s not that much different than repeating the same chorus or single line of a song over and over and over again, or speaking in tongues. Ok, so some of you might want to argue that there is a big difference. Go ahead. I’m just saying….
I don’t reject the teachings of the Roman Catholic Church, except that I don’t think it should claim to be the only “One True Church”. Yet, in looking for a church in which, or should I say “with which” to worship God, the Father Almighty - YHWH - Three in One, I couldn’t pick one that believed devote Roman Catholics will burn in hell, or that a protestant who decides to become a Roman Catholic has rejected the truth and is lost.
If I am lost, it is not because I decided to go back to the RC or not to go back. If I am saved it is only through the grace, mercy, sacrifice and truth of my LORD Jesus Christ.
I’ve decided I need a sacramental church. Holy Communion is important to me. God expects us to love Him with our hearts, minds, souls, our whole beings. He created us in His image and likeness. And He set forth rites, rituals, celebrations and festivals for us to follow. I don’t think we need to go back to the Old Testament style of worship, but I don’t think we need to reject all those traditions either. Rather then being an audience that gets to sing along at a worship service, a sacramental, liturgical sort of worship service makes us participates, mind - soul -body. That’s one of the reasons going to the Episcopal Church in town was right for me. Except for the liberal, anti-biblical teachings and mandates coming from the higher up. So serious was it, that the Bible honoring priest of the church stepped down. That’s why I was looking toward the RC. At least there, sin is sin, and the leadership is admonished for any liberal, or immoral tendencies. Life is still and absolutely protected. And there is more of “pick up your cross and follow ME” and less of “name it, claim it” being preached. Honestly, I rather say the rosary, meditate on the mysteries of faith and repeat verses from the Bible, than be told that if I were really saved I’d speak in tongues and that all true Christians believe in the pre-trib rapture.
But I have not decided to return to the CHURCH. Right now, I am worshiping with a congregation that split off from the Episcopalian church in town after the priest left. It meets Saturday evenings in a borrowed sanctuary. My Saturdays now consist of spending time with my dear grandchildren, God bless their little souls, eating out, except that isn’t so much fun now that I am on my life with one kidney diet, doing the laundry and going to church. Sundays have truly become a day of rest. Sleep in, watch a TV teaching or two, correct papers (but I only have 8 more days of school), and enjoy spring on the Rez.
Back to the topic, One True Church, nope. I don’t believe there is such a thing. A perfect Church? Surely not. Only one way to salvation? Yep. Jesus is the way. Only one way to Jesus? Probably not. Our creator God is a God of variety, diversity, and fortunately for us, full of patience and mercy. Slow to anger and quick to forgive.
I have this “saying”. A little quote I jokingly attribute to God. “Look what they’ve done to my dog!” You know. When we see all the different sizes and breeds, especially the little silly ones (my apologies to dog lovers everywhere). I think, God made one beautiful dog. And through genetics and selective breeding…just look at what we did to His dog. Maybe Our Father, who dwells in heaven (Hallowed be His Name - YHWH), looks down on all the people who claim the name of His son - who call themselves Christians - and bemoans, “Look what they’ve done to My Church!" LORD have mercy on us all.

Prayer

Many years ago, my husband and I were asked to conduct a workshop on the occult for a statewide youth gathering. As we prepared for the weekend event we elicited prayer, knowing full well that a prayer covering was much needed for such activity.
Prayer covering…
Hedge of protection…
Prayer partners and prayer warriors…
Such terms mean little to the no Christian I suppose. Perhaps even some Christians are unsure of exactly what such expressions mean. Yet some of us take the concepts so much for granted that they actually become mundane and loose their power.
Concerning that workshop so many years ago. Our prayer partners knew the dates and times of the presentations (we did 4 to accommodate the hundreds of youth that attended the event) And each workshop was well attended and well received. What I remember most, and the reason I bring this up now, is that when the last session was done, within minutes, we both felt a very real “let down”, a sense of oppression and stress that took us by surprise. The prayers that had carried us through the event had ceased and we could actually, physically feel it. The enemy had been waiting, like foxes looking for cracks in the wall, so that they could get into the vineyard and nip at our heels.
I can recall a time, when I was teaching at a Christian School in NY, one of my student’s mother came up to me one morning, obviously distressed. “Are you alright?” she asked me with great concern. I was fine. She explained that she had woken up the night before with an overwhelming urge to pray for me and my family, which she did…for hours. I assured me I was fine, my family was in no crisis and she seemed disappointed. As if she had prayed and lost all that sleep for nothing. I reassured her by saying that we may never know what sort of crisis or emergency, or spiritual attack her prayers may have averted. And to never resist the urge to pray for someone, whenever, however it comes.
Prayer.
So many people lifted me up in prayer over the past few months. Like the paralytic on the mat, being lifted to the roof top and lowered into the presence of the LORD.
I am humbled.
What did that paralytic think? He basically just went along for the ride. And I’m sure it wasn’t a very comfortable ride. How aware was he of where he was being taken? Was he anxious or simply resigned?
From the first hint of a possible problem in January, through the test, to the diagnosis, to the ride into surgery, I was resigned and at peace. The word Cancer did not really scare me, only the concept of a long fight and loosing my hair gave me a bit of anxiety, but impending death didn’t bother me at all. Asking for healing didn’t even cross my mind. But apparently it did cross the minds of many friends and relatives who put me on prayer chains and lifted me up to our LORD. A hedge of protection. Peace that passes understanding. Healing graces. Mercy.
I am humbled.
I’ve been healed. And I don’t know why. There seems to be so many other people more needy, more worthy. I’m thinking of baby Emilio, on life support. Of all the crying, praying mothers. And perhaps because the crisis is over, and the prayers have turned to others needing urgent prayer, I feel the enemy nipping at my heels. Reminding me that I am unworthy. Making me feel that my life is pointless, I’m old and tired and ineffective in ministry. Showing me my failures, as a mother and wife and teacher. I’m still healing. I think this event will force me to get into better shape physically, life with one kidney means paying special attention to ones diet. I also think this event will cause me to be more diligent in my personal prayer life. But the foxes have gotten into the vineyard, and I’m not moving very fast these days. Perhaps, those of you who care and feel so led, could say one or two more little prayers for little old me. Just a little prayer booster. And God bless us, everyone!

Easter Sunday

There is a new church plant in the area. An out cropping of the Episcopalian Church we had been attending for the past year. We did not start going there immediately after the priest resigned. After all, we weren’t actually Episcopalian, nor were we Anglicans. Yesterday we attended the “Easter Vigil” since they are currently sharing a building with another church and are holding their services on Saturday evenings.
The Easter Saturday service was full of multisensory, ancient - traditional acts of worship. Starting with the kindling of a fire and the lighting of the Paschal Candle - “for darkness has been vanquished, all you who stand near this marvelous holy flame - in the unity of the Holy Spirit…”
Then there was the recounting of the creation story - in the beginning God said, let there be light. And an interactive account of the Exodus story, with several enthusiastic children providing the sound effects. There was a renewal of the Baptism vows, liturgical and responsive reading. After which the shofar was blown and the congregation responded with the ringing of bells and gongs and shouts of praise - alleluia!
As the worship team sang traditional and not so traditional songs of praise, proclaiming the good news of the resurrected Christ, the congregation - mostly children, used fresh cut flowers to decorate a large rustic cross. This was followed by the rite of the Eucharist. Blessed are you O Lord, King of the Universe! Because this is a church within a church, and some members of the hosting church also attend the services of the new church, when they serve communion, they use both wine and grape juice. Taste and see that the LORD is good. Receiving communion is an important aspect of my personal act of worship, and I am happy to attend services where the LORD’s supper is the focal point. As in the early church. The Christians were known by their love and by the breaking of the bread.
The smell of the fire, and fresh cut flowers.
The sound of the shofar, bells, and songs of joy
The touch of the rugged cross and soft flowers, the cool of the night and the warmth of fellowship
The sight of the flame, the icons, the cup and bread - familiar symbols of faith
The taste of the bread and the fruit of the vine…
With my whole body, mind, spirit I worship the Lord - Jesus Christ - amen!

Monday - April 2, 2007

Home, minus one kideny and Cancer Free!
Pastor Art is reading the book "Why I Am Not a Calvinist" by Jerry L. Walls and Joseph R. Dongell to me as I recover from the surgery.
I read Psalm 66 as my personal devotion today and wrote in my prayer journel...
" He has heard my prayer and the prayers of ohers on behalf. I am humbled. I am encouraged.
Selah!" I'll keep you posted...

March 14, 2007
It is 8:22 am, Daylight Savings Time, in Shiprock, NM. I’ve actually been looking forward today. State testing is done at school and I have the day off. We will take a nice, scenic drive to Durango, Colorado where I will have a biopsy on my kidney.
Strange things unfolding these days. Strange and confusing thoughts racing through this old brain of mine.
I have no idea who actually reads these ramblings and who cares. My sisters and best friend usually don’t. There is the Wanderer, and Stephanie the teacher. An Australian peer, a Japanese invalid, a pre-Vatican II Catholic, and a Biblical Fanatic have stopped by on occasion. I haven’t had much of a chance to go blogging myself. We have a nice new computer now, so maybe over spring break - if I’m not in the hospital having my kidney removed, I’ll get some time in hubby’s office to catch up with some old blogger friends and make some new ones.
I am still in the midst of the Roman Catholic conundrum. In my three part essay and my history as a Christian and why I am even considering returning to the Roman Catholic Faith, I noted that according to the CHURCH, since I once knew the whole truth and then turned my back on it, I am headed to hell.
I am adamant not to let fear of hell be the deciding factor in my decision. Not that I don’t believe in it, but God is Love and Jesus is Truth and perfect love and truth casts out fear…not exactly a quote, but you get the point.
I have realized that I never actually made a thought out choice to leave the Catholic church. I never really considered the ramifications of it. When I said yes to Jesus, in the summer of 1979, I was saying yes to the Person, not a church, and it took me quite a while to settle into a church. At this point in my life, if I don’t go back to the Catholic Church it will be a conscious decision not to, after considering the options and consequences.
So, yesterday - a new element was thrown into the mix. One of the radio preachers I wake up to was on a severe anti-catholic rant. And he actually said that people who were following the teachings of the Roman Catholic Church were following a lie and bound for hell. What’s that saying? Damned if I do and Damned if I don’t.
Which, in the light of the fact that I could possibly have a fatal disease, and I’m not sure I have the emotional strength to fight it if I do, is an interesting concept. I could have the answer to my question soon. And then it might be too late. Yet, still there is no fear.
Another thing I have realized is that the main reason we settled into the churches we settled into were relational not theological. We did leave churches because of theological issues, because we disagreed with certain doctrines or practices and rather than cause a fuss or shake anyone’s faith, we tried to walk quietly away. There were a couple of major conflicts, divorces of sort, when the leaving was very painful. And a few times when leaving was failure. How many times? How many churches? I can’t take the time to sort it all out just now. But the point is that there is no relationship now to guide us to a Church. No relationship except with the LORD. And perhaps it bothers me, just a little, to have no church family and no church to celebrate my passing, if I pass on.
I thought, what would my friends say if I went home to the Catholic Church. Then I thought, what friends? Sad isn’t it? I have one best friend, 2000 miles away, and my husband, some colleagues, a nice neighbor, some casual friends, but very few people that I feel really close to. Perhaps that is why I blog. For that sense of community. Oh well, it is time to get on with my day. It is a lovely spring day. The sparrows are chirping, a warm wind is blowing, the sun is shining. I’m all washed up and ready to go. Until next time, I am always and only M.E.

Wednesday

As I continue to think about the Roman Catholic Church, I’ve identified 4reasons why I would even being looking in that direction.First there is the Eucharist. Going to our local Episcopalian church for ayear, reminded me how much I missed receiving communion every week. Andthere is a sense of the sacred, the HOLY that goes along with a liturgicalcelebration of the Lord’s Table, that I have seldom experienced inprotestant churches, although there are examples of this in some mainlinedenominational churches, ie. Lutheran and Methodist. But mainline churchesare so getting so liberal in their doctrines. Which brings me to thesecond reason.Leadership and Authority. I’m not a foolish person, naïve or uneducated. Iknow there has been corruption and some very dark ages in Roman Catholic –Papal history. Yet it seems that the problem of changing doctrine, liberalthinking, and church hoping til you find a church that fits, are allsymptoms of not having good, definite leadership…someone, somewhere whogive the final word to settle conflict. And it seems that without thisauthority, there are too many pastors and teachers out there who are undereducated, and unsupervised. When one says they only have to answer to oneauthority, be it the BIBLE or the LORD Himself, that leaves too much roomfor the deceiver to pervert the truth, and lead not only the shepherd buthis flock astray. The third reason follows logically. The question of doctrine. I’ve hadmany debates here and elsewhere about the doctrine of predestination. Butthere are other doctrines as well, that many main line churches, megachurches, and tela-evangelists claim to be ultimate truth, that I can’tswallow. Like tongues and rapture, while there are some, like HolyCommunion (John 6) and Apostolic authority, that they ignore or down play. And as I intentlylisten to Bible teachers, Catholic and non-Catholic, I hear much deeperteaching – more substance and less shouting, from the Catholics. The fourth reason is personal. It has to do with the journey I’ve been on.The journey that my husband and I have been on for the past 30 years.There have been a lot of road blocks and disappointments. Rejection andfrustration. It seems impossible, yet in some way logical that all thishas led us, in a very round about way, to the Catholic Church. And itwould actually make sense, if this were why things have been going the waythey’ve been going. The consideration. Choosing Catholic would be a much more seriousdecision than choosing to hop from the Assemblies of God to the Methodistor placePlaceNameBaptist PlaceTypeChurch. And there is the question of myimmortal soul. I think a true Catholic would tell me that if I didn’t“come home” I would end up burning in hell, having once known the wholetruth and rejecting it. I will not make my decision based on the fear ofhell. Yet, if Catholicism is true, except for the hope of Divine Mercy,that is a serious issue. Especially now.Which brings me to my prayer request. On March 14 I am going in for a biopsy on my kidney. I am not reallyworried about this. But the situation is real and could be serious. Ithink probably, at the least, I will have to have the kidney removed. Ihonestly expect the worst. But your prayers would be appreciated. Time to go back to work. Blessings All!

Wednesday

I’m not sure where I’ll be going to Church the next few Sundays. We’ve been worshiping in the local Episcopal congregation for about a year, but our friend the priest resigned last week. God bless him and his family for taking a stand for the Gospel of Christ and the authority of the Bible over the authority of man, or in this case woman.
Ah, the chain of authority, submitting to authority. I know there is a lot that can be said against the Roman Catholic Church. But look at the depths to which so many main line denominations have fallen. Churches which exist because their founders rebelled or at the very least protested against the authority of the RC church.
The Bible alone! Yet so many argue over what it means. If we were in agreement, there wouldn’t be so many different denominations. Faith alone? But even the demons believe.
I recently heard a priest address the idea of faith alone. First that in that oft quoted verse, “by faith alone” the word alone was added by Luther in his translation into German.
Second, that when talking about entering into the kingdom of God, Jesus included the “sacraments”. In John 6 He says unless we eat of his body and drink of his blood we can not enter the Kingdom of God - not a direct quote but I often wonder if non-catholic ministers really meditate on that intense teaching. Or perhaps, like giving honor to Mary, they think that Communion is “too Catholic” to give much attention to. And baptism for the forgiveness of sin.
And James, the brother of Jesus, (his step brother or cousin if you go along with Catholic teaching) says “not by faith alone” 2:24. When the rich young ruler asked Jesus what he should do to be saved, Jesus answered, obey the commandments and sell all your stuff and give to the poor.
Like I said, I don’t know where I’ll be going to Church now that Fr. Carl quit. Maybe the LORD will open a door for Pastor Art to minister again. Maybe I’ll find a good Wesleyan type church. We were discussing our options on the way home last Sunday. Oh well, I will trust in the LORD, trust that He will direct my paths. At least I know, that today I will watch the sun rise, go to work, teach and drink green tea. I know my students will frustrate me and make me smile. I know I will try to tackle the paperwork piling up on my desk, and come home exhausted. Yesterday my husband - Pastor Art - and I got to share a glorious sunrise and sunset. Praise to the LORD, the Almighty, the maker of heaven and earth - amen