January 2008
9 years ago, my family was living in a tiny apartment in front of a worn out building known as "the dorm" on the American Indian Bible Ministry complex. We had been called to pastor the Church at Farmington, a tiny, multicultural Free Methodist church on the grounds. And after 6 months we were told we had to leave, to give up that ministry which we had come to love, and find another place to live. I won't go into the complex reasons why, but I will say I was doing a lot of fretting. And my patience was really running thin as we searched unsuccessfully for a place to move. I remember one sunny February afternoon, sitting on our little front porch, tears dripping into my coffee, when one of my sons came home from school and asked what was wrong. After my lament he wisely observed, "Mom, you're asking God for cookies while He is preparing a feast." Oh but the Bible says, "Ask and you shall receive, Seek and you shall find...Delight in the LORD and He will give you the desire of your heart.
He will give you the desire of your heart. I think this means, not that He is going to grant your wishes, but that He is going to put into your heart that which He wants you to desire. Remember how, on Thanksgiving Day, you walk into the kitchen where the feast is being prepared and the wonderful smell makes you anxious to eat. Or how the fragrance of fresh baked bread makes you long for a piece. That is the kind of desire I'm talking about. For the 9 years between that afternoon on my porch and last summer, my hearts desire was to "minister on the mission". And Isaiah 61 was the fragrance that kept that desire burning.
It had been prayed over us when we left New York to go to Denver, and again when we left Denver to minister in Farmington. And once seeing the mission complex, walking the grounds, every time I heard someone preach from that chapter, at a tent meeting, on the Radio or Television, from Rochester NY to Rapid City SD, I'd think of the mission and the desire burned like longing for fresh baked bread. I could almost taste it. Sometimes I could actually see us there, Preaching to the Poor, Binding up the broken hearted, proclaiming freedom for the captives, release those bond in darkness, planting to deisplay His Splendor, Rebuilding, Restoring, Renewing...I could see fields and vineyards, and a people the Lord had blessed, righteous worship and praise springing up before all nations. I often asked the LORD to take this impossible dream away from me. My practical husband would tell me, "it ain't gonna happen" each time I would tell him I still thought we were meant to be ministring at the Mission on the Bisti through and with the Free Methodist denomination. On January 17, 2007, I wrote in my prayer journal that if I could have anything I wanted, I would want us to be ministering at "the mission". And on June 24 we were commissioned to do just that. I still fret. After years of poor stewardship and poor pastoring, we have quite a job ahead of us, and sometimes it doesn't seem to be happening fast enough. But we can not limit the LORD to our concept of time. When He begins a work, He is faithful to complete it. And when we delight in Him, He will give us the desire of our hearts. Last week we were invited to do a Christmas service at a little church on the reservation, one of the churches that used to be assosiated with the AIBM. It had been inactive for quite some time, but the ShiMa, the matriarch of the family found out we were back at the mission and wanted us to come out. The building has a dirt floor, a wood burning stove, and out houses in the back. It hadn't been used for quite some time, but on the door was a weather beaten poster of Isaiah 61: 1,2. "The Spirit of the LORD is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to preach good news to the poor, He has sent me to bind up the broken hearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives, and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the LORD's favor..." Ah, the smell of fresh baked bread.