fyi

haven't been disconnected yet.
encouraged by your comments and prayers
clinging to psalm 69
just posted "the enforcers" on Dawn is coming for my son.
he received psalm 69 last night too.
God is good. Life aint so good.

Who was J.C. Ryle anyway?

This morning I read an ancient sermon suggested on the Slice site.
I was thinking, maybe it would be a good Bible teaching.
After reading it I wrote the following comment. It got a little long. But I think it said a lot, so I left is on the Slice site and decided to post it here too.
I got a few good quotes from this sermon.
"peace procured at the expense of truth is not worth having"
"some are discouraged by the length of our journey"
but he uses only one piece of one verse...hold fast to what is good. I Thes. 5:21b
actually I think a lot of us need to really pay attention to the first part of the verse, especially when we are about the business of exposing or defending various ministries and teachers
"But examine everthing carefully, hold fast to that which is good"
A lot of blog comments are based on emotional reactions to heresay.
Secular news reports are taken at face value when they seem to prove our particular stand on something, but everyone knows the press is bias. I read this sermon actually hoping to find some words of wisdom and good Bible teaching. I believe that sermons should be sound Bible teachings. I think it is a pastor's responsibility to preach the word of God in such a way that it gives the congregation something to chew on, something to meditate on, something to walk with through out the week. This sermon was merely anti-catholic rhetoric. Early in my walk with the LORD, before my husband and I had found a church home, we visited a friends church.
I think it was non-denomiational. It was a long time ago. But I can remember something the young pastor said from the pulpit. I don't remember the exact names he used, but he said something like this..."You can drive though any town and see dozens of churches. And you can tell by their names, "St. Thomas, Our Lady of Mercy, Grace United Methodist, Peter and Paul Episcaple, etc. that their leaders are liberal unsaved heretics." I was shocked. Not that there might be ministers who were liberal unsaved heretics, but that any man of God would so generally judge and publically condemn. In the 25+ years that I have been walking with the LORD, I have met Catholics, Methodists, Episcapalians, Charasmatic, Menonites, Salvation Army Officers, Baptists, oh, there are too many to name. But I have met, fellowshiped, prayed and worshiped with them and know, regardless of the name on their church, it's form of government, or style of worship, these individuals were/are saved. The body of Christ is made up of many parts. God is a God of variety. Blessed be the name of the LORD!

The way it was...

Psalm 143
The drive from Shiprock to Albuquerque is a little more than three hours depending on how fast you dare to go. The speed limit is 70mph. I was due in court at 1:00pm and we left at 9:00am. I was wearing my most non hippy style outfit and my nerves were frayed.
But the scenery is awesome and the music was good. And when we walked into the court house I was pretty calm and just a minute or two late. The lawyer subtly told us that it wouldn’t be good for Art to go into the court room, because of his wild and wooly appearance. I was going to have to wait about 45 minutes to testify, and he wanted us to stay over night because he wanted me in the courtroom when Ardy testified the next day.
As I sat in the waiting room, I took out my Bible. The book mark was at Psalm 143.
A few weeks back our Pastor used a verse from that psalm to emphasis the importance of seeking God’s will for our lives.
“teach me the way in which I should walk; For to thee I lift up my soul."
As soon as I started reading, I knew this was the section of Scripture that was meant for me at that place and time. The Living Words that would carry me though these stressful times.
Hear my prayer O Lord!
Of course He could hear my prayer, and with those words came the confidence that not only could He hear, but that He was listening intently.
Do not enter into judgment with Thy servant, for in thy sight no man living is righteous.
I am glad that when the Word tells us to visit the prisoner, it does not specify that only the innocent, wrongly accused deserve Christian consideration. There is a verse somewhere that says “Let mercy triumph over justice” The people who used to “March for Jesus” sang a song with those words. That was on the same album as “Shine Jesus Shine”
Who of my readers remembers that?
Anyway, this whole concept of mercy and judgment and redemption has weighed heavily on my mother’s heart over the past three years.
My son is guilty. My son sinned. And he was a Christian when he did it. This whole court thing is not to prove or disprove his guilt. It is to decide how much damage was done to the victim and how much money the family should be awarded for those damages.
For the enemy has persecuted my soul. He has crushed my life to the ground. He has made me dwell in dark places.
These lines apply to my son, and to me as well. To our whole family. Guilt, condemnation, rejection, hopelessness have been the fiery darts flung at us by the accuser.
I remember the days of old…
These words remind my of going back to my first love (Rev. 2:4,5). They remind me of the angel experience I wrote about a few weeks back. This whole ordeal was just beginning and the Lord told me to hang on to that experience when I started to doubt that God was really there.
And I knew that God was really there, as I walked into the court room, the mother of a convicted felon. The questioning wasn’t so bad. The lawyer who was really nasty to me during my deposition was “nicer” in the court room. Ardy’s lawyer had told me it wouldn’t be as bad, because there was a judge in the room.
The next morning Art and I read Psalm 143 again, together. And he went off to a cool corner in the court house to read and pray (what a way to celebrate your 50th birthday) and I went into the court room to watch and listen and pray and wait. To be there for my boy. 10 hours later we were on our way home. We had a nice dinner at Art’s favorite buffet, which happens to be in a casino. But I didn’t even spend a nickel. By the time we got home, the truck was whining like an old horse, and our stress levels were off the scale. We almost got into a fight, for no good reason.
My spirit was overwhelmed within me.
We came home to over due bills, and a negative balance in our checking account.
Jeremiah’s new wife’s family has decided that this quick marriage is not a good thing and have told her she is not welcome in the house. They also kicked out her brother who introduced them. So he’s staying with us for a week…more stress
New Mexico is having a heat wave, 106 in Shiprock today.
I am longing for a big, cleansing, thundering storm. Open the floodgates of heaven, let it rain. I wouldn’t be saying that if I lived on the Gulf coast. Bless those caught in the hurricane Lord, and as far as I am concerned…
Thou art my God, Let thy Holy Spirit lead me on level ground. For the sake of Thy name, O Yahweh, revive me. In Thy righteousness bring my soul out of trouble.
Amen, even so, Yes Lord Jesus.

Every Mother's Son

There are some things a mother just should never have to do...
In about 17 hours I will be sitting in a court room, waiting to testify in the civil trial against my son. The victim's family wants to convince the jury that my son is a monster and my husband and I are religious kooks. This hurts really bad. I hope someday I will be able to minister to mothers who feel what I've been feeling for the past three years. I drive by convicts doing road work and shout, "I'm praying for your mothers"
I want to say, no matter what the world thinks, Jesus valued your sons so much that He died for them...I want to tell them it is ok to still love their sons.
And right now, I would ask my friends to pray for me.

Venancio

Some guy just recently left a message on one of my old postings.
The name was Venancio, and his message was basically, hey guys, there is no god...so get over it.
He's from Belgum, how in the world did he find me????
oh the wonders of blogging!
Chris says that many of my readers are Liberal, and EC sympathizers. At least one of them is a self proclaimed pagan. Love ya, Wanderer! (Love you too Chris)
But even though Venancio commented on a post that is over a month old (More on Psalm 143)
I have to address the idea that there is no God.
Anyone who has read any thing that I have written knows that I am a Christian who believes that the Bible is the Living Word of God.
There is no God? What a terrible world this would be if that were true, it would be a non world, a void world...
and as far as myself...
I have no idea who I would be without God.
Actually, in my deepest darkest moments, I have thought maybe this really is all there is...
just wishful thinking and coincidences and the occassional "nice" person.
And to be honest, If I had ever really been able to convince myself that there really is no God,
I would not be...I would have chosen not to be...
I love Jesus. I love the life He has given me. I love being a Christian, even when some people like my friend the heretic, says nasty things about so called Christians. I love to worship the LORD with my friends and family. I love singing "Jesus Loves Me" as I rock my babies and grand babies to sleep. I love looking at the night sky, or a new born's little foot and knowing where they come from, and I give glory to the One from whom they came.
I love reading the Bible and realizing just how awesome a work it is...a master piece, put together by the Master so that His children can understand the Love, and the responsibility that comes with that Love and through it.
I have not had an easy life. But the last 25 years, the years that I have spent seeking first the Kingdom, and walking The Walk, has been a great adventure. And the adventure continues.
I am not a perfect person, infact there are times when I am not even a very good person. But I Love my Lord, and He loves me.
A long time ago, I was working in an office and one of my coworkers was a Christian. She was a sweet young thing, who would come in early and sit in the breakroom with a cup of tea and her Bible. I liked her, and I felt sorry for her. I thought, someday she will wake up and smell the coffee. Someday she will realize that there is no room in today's enlightened world for primitive religions like Christianity. I didn't know she was praying for me. I didn't know that through her friendship and innocence and prayer, God was beginning to soften my heart. She never preached to me, or invited to her church, but she played a big part in my salvation, and redemption. Thank You Carrie the Christian where ever you are...and thank you readers whoever you are, for hearing this old grandma's voice speaking from the New Mexican Desert.
God is Good!

What's the problem?

As a former Roman Catholic, I began my personal relationship with Jesus with several preconceived notions. I'll admit that my religious education in my all girl Catholic High School was liberal, but I graduated with my virginity in tack and an award for Excellence in Theology, and proud of it.
The first time I ever heard anyone say "Once saved, always saved!" it floored me. Could this be true? The woman, a co-worker, was explaining to me why it was ok for her to be having an affaire with a married man. She was using terms like, under the blood and predestined...it was God's predestined plan for this wonderful man to come into her life at such a hard time. It didn't matter to her at all that adultry was a sin, after all the wife wasn't even saved. And as a born again Christian she wasn't under the "law".
Could it be that someone could turn their life over to Jesus, and go out and committ a blatent sin, with out remorse and still go to heaven?
That was 20 years ago. I have a better understanding of certain Christian mantras now.
Once saved always saved...
It's under the blood...
Salvation through faith not works...
my favorite is "Faith with our works is dead" but I don't hear that one very often.
Over the past few weeks, as the summer in the Four Corners gets hotter and hotter...
I've encountered several wounded individuals, who seem very lost in the dark perversness of this age. Each one of them has been able to spout out the salvation message, the Roman road if you will. Each one of them has been to the alter. And although they know enough scripture to prove that they've been to church, it seems they never got the "go and sin no more" message.
They'd been promised that God would change their lives, they'd be healed of their addictions and their poverty, if only they came forward and said yes to Jesus. But without proper discipleship, when the matters of the world, the temptations, attacked them, they fell away...and their response now is "I tried the Jesus way, but it doesn't work for me" or worse...
"I guess I just wasn't predestined for salvation."
What does it do to someone who is struggling with matters of faith, when they hear that God has a certin elect few that are predestined for salvation, and the rest...actually the majority if you miss interpret the message about few finding the narrow path...are born to spend eternity in a devil's hell?
The devistating concept of Manifest Destiny, which led to the slaughter of the native americans just 150 years ago was birthed in the doctrine of Predestination. The idea of Divine Election fed the mistreatment of "inferior" races of humanity, who were born savages and heathens. Surely, these creatures were not part of God's elect.
How does one preach the gospel, the good news of Jesus Christ to a people group, who will also be told that all their ancestors, all those loved ones who have gone before them will be burning in hell because they never had a chance to say yes to Jesus.
God is Good...God is Love...God is all powerful...there is Evil in the world.
Those facts can only be reconcilled if we
#1. stop trying to limit God to our human understanding of all knowingness and sovereignty.
#2. acknowledge that all human beings are born with a divine plan, and God wants all of them to be saved, but has given them the right and responsibility to choose.
#3. there would be much less evil in the world, and much better ways to address the problems of evil, if the people who named the name of Jesus would live the life he put before us...
Faith without works is dead...can dead faith heal?
I've recently confessed on this blog a "hidden" sin. I am not the only "good" Christian who has something in their lives that is hidden, dangerous - distructive. None of us is actually good, right? In publishing it on my site, I made myself vulnerable to people who know me personally, as well as bloggers, some of whom already think I am a liberal, unsaved heretic. I am greatful to those who have prayed for me. To some of the readers of this blog, the theology I express here is all off...but I feel good about my convictions...and the fog I've been in for some time is beginning to lift. Time to go on with my day.
By the way, for those of you who do pray for me...next Tuesday I have to go to court to testify in a civil suit for my son. I am not happy about that. Ugg!

A Fair Question (i guess)

I started blogging because a friend of mine kept talking about his own blogging experience. I checked out his site, and a site he highly recommended, and went from there. I soon discovered some distrubing things. Some people out there, including my friend in fact, were calling some of the things I held as true, heretical. And there were a lot of supposedly sincere Christians who seemed to take great pleasure blasting other supposedly sincere Christians. Yesterday, a commentor on another site, made a comment on one of my comments, asking just what wouldn't I allow in Church. He's actually put the question to me a few times, on the same site. And I woke up this morning thinking about it.
I am not a pastor. I am a pastor's wife. But we are currently not pastoring a church. I am my husband's partner in ministry. I have held various positions of leadership in several churches. As well as my extensive experience in Children's Ministry, I have taught/led seminars, women's retreats etc. I've been a teacher for 20 years, Christian Schools and Public Schools and Reservation Schools. I'm not claiming to be an expert, but I am talking from experience. Although some people out there would doubt my salvation, I have been a Christian for 26 years.
So, what wouldn't I allow in Church? In what areas wouldn't I compromise?
Since my "ministry" is woven tightly with my husbands, I will explain what WE wouldn't allow, what we didn't allow, and in come cases, the consequenses of our unwillingness to compromise.
I ended up having take over the reigns of a large inner city Vacation Bible School, when our senior pastor removed from the position a woman who had led her daughters and some of her little friends in a seance at a sleep over. It wasn't a church event, but we couldn't allow a weekend spiritist to coordinate a church event. In the same Church, a very well loved youth leader was removed from her position when she decided to move in with her boyfriend. The woman was a very good friend of mine. She knew that I was on the committee that decided this matter, and she agreed with the decision. In the same church we made quite a few youth angry, because we wouldn't allow them to listen to secular rock music at a lock in.
As far as music goes, it has always been the lyrics, not the style that was the determining factor.
A few months in to my husbands first postition as an assistant pastor, 3 things happened nearly back to back, that led to his resignation from the church and our leaving the denomination. First, he wouldn't allow a professing Jehovah's Witness whose husband and children attended our church, teach a Sunday School Class. Second, at a Women's Ministry Meeting, I protested using any of our treasury money to support "Reproductive Rights" which meant promoting "free and safe abortions to third world countries". And the final straw, my husband made it perfectly clear to the ordination committee that he firmly believed that homosexuality and abortion were sins.
We have taken a stand against making "God language" gender neutral.
I interupted a class on stress management because the instructor was leading us in meditative yoga exercises to the back ground music of chanting, and she had no idea what was being chanted on her tapes.
We were "relieved" from duty in a church because we were opposed to taking the youth to a Sunday evening church service where the kids were into holy laughing, holy barking, and even holy puking. We had gone once, and our kids were really confused and upset by it. In the name of unity, and because our senior pastor had dilussions of becoming a mega "Spirit Filled" church, he insisted they give it another try. We wouldn't.
What wouldn't we allow in church?
Leaders and Teachers who do not believe in the Triune Godhead, Father Son Holy Spirit, who do not believe that Jesus was born of a virgin, crucified for our sins, resurrected and coming again. Who do not hold to the Bible as the living and true word of God.
There would be no communing with the dead, no spiritism, no actions or substances to alter the state of consciousness.
Medidtation would be an exercise in focusing on God and His truth, not in emptying ones mind.
There would be no sexual impurity among the leaders, and no hint of it.
Modest dress...not too short, too tight, too low cut, too saggy.
Men would not counsel women alone, nor would women counsel men alone.
There would be solemn assemblies and joyful celebrations.
People would be encouraged to invest their gifts and talents in Kindgom building. Singers would sing, drummers would drum, dancers would dance with
banners, tamborines, glory hoops
Artists would create visual metaphors to help illustrate spiritual truths.
There would be a time and place for drama.
Rocks, water, candles, incense, sheep, bread, a fish net, the fruit of the vine, coins, nails and a crown of thornes. All props that we have used, that we would continue to use.
And you would be welcome...
regardless of how you dressed, how you smelled, how you sin
and you would be free
to speak in tongues, to fall on your face before the mighty creator of the univerese, to cry or laugh, to sit or stand...
mercy would triumph over justice, Jesus would set you free, the Holy Spirit would convict and restore...The word of God would be preached with wisdom and understanding, God would be worshiped in spirit and truth...
amem

Who are You People and What are You Thinking?

I just noticed my blog counter...500+
That's scarey. People are reading me. I wanted to have a voice that was heard...but that seems like a lot to me.
I spent the past two hours visiting, commenting, praying over, and reflecting upon my links, and some of the links of my links. Sounds to me like a lot of us are getting a call to action...waiting for orders...anticipating change!
I have to check my email, write two letters and head to the post office.
Later today I will post my son's second story to his Dawn is Coming site...he can't do it because he doesn't have computer access where he is.
So, I'll hit PUBLISH POST and move on.

Fine, thankyou!

Halfway…
2005 is just a little more that half way through, so is my summer vacation.
Art brought me a new prayer journal. Jeremiah will be getting married in a week. I’m reading the book of John. Magnificent Truth.
I’ve made it to chapter 5. The Word, the Light, the Living Water. And the reoccurring theme that individuals brought other individuals to see Jesus.
Andrew brought Peter. Philip brought Nathaniel, the Samaritan woman brought her whole town. Who have I brought lately? Or am I just waiting for the Holy Spirit to bring them? As usual, when reading through this book, I got a little hung up on the whole, Spirit and Truth thing. Just what is worship? It seems to be quite an area of dissention here in blog land. Art brought home a book about God-centered worship, “A Better Way” by Michael Horton. So I read a little of that yesterday. One quote:
“…the so called ‘worship wars’ with both sides amassing their proof-texts that supposedly settle the debate once and for all, resulting in a tragic division of Christ’s body into traditionalist and progressive camps, each with its own Sunday morning service.” He sees Sunday morning worship services as covenant renewals, and the main elements, according to him, should be the word and the sacraments (the water and the bread). Actually the book is a bit much for my old brain. Back to John’s gospel.
Chapter 5. Verses 19-47. This is the first long teaching, to the Jewish leaders in the temple, recorded by John. I’ve read it in the NKJV and the NAS, and now I’m reading it in the Message (oh dear theologians, forgive me) and the good OLD Living Bible. Jesus begins to explain how He and God the Father work together. He talks about salvation and judgment. The part about this teaching I always liked was that He confirms that Moses indeed wrote the Torah, the first five books. Many scholars say that this part of the Word was just oral tradition until the days of Nehemiah, that Moses did not actually write it. If Jesus said Moses wrote it, than Moses wrote it. And many say that the Old Testament is not relevant to Christianity. Yet Jesus says in John 5:47 If you don’t believe in the writings of Moses, how can you believe in His words. I was part of a Wednesday evening Bible study for a while. We were just beginning the book of Romans, and in the introduction the teacher, who I respect, got into this whole theological explanation of how the Bible was written and made the statement that Moses had not actually written the Torah. I didn’t want to argue with him, or correct him. At least not in the presence of the rest of the class. He is a leader in our church and I have submitted to his authority. I discussed it with my husband on the way home. Although my husband is a licensed pastor, for this season, in this fellowship, he is not in leadership. He did bring this up to the teacher, who is a brother and a friend. But the teacher was offended. We just stopped going to the study, but I am wondering if we should have been bolder. We like the church we are going to. The senior pastor has an apostolic vision for the Navajo Nation which is solid, his teaching is grounded in the Word of God, and the worship is dynamic, prophetic. We have family in this church. Although we are not Navajo we feel welcome and loved. Although Art is a pastor in another denomination, we do not feel that we are supposed to be planting a new church. This area does not need another church. But we are feeling that we need to be doing something more for the Kingdom. And we feel that we need to be careful not to offend…which may be holding us back. God, give us wisdom!