From my friend Lisa -

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's
already
tomorrow in Australia ." (Charles Schultz)

appearing with the permission of one of my students

For those of you interested in some of the Traditions of The Navajo People...

Thanksgiving Traditions of a New Mexico Family

By Merilu

On Thanksgiving I went to my grandmother’s house and on Thanksgiving my cousin came back from Afghanistan. And we had dinner with my cousin and we butchered a sheep at my grandmother’s house. After that we played my favorite game, the Navajo Shoe game and I had to sing the Navajo Shoe Game song because I knew the song. I learned how to weave with the grandmother and I did the spinning for her. Then I ate my favorite food, blood sauce and that’s where I went on Thanksgiving.

Whats in a Name?

I was planning on writing a piece on why the name of Jesus,
the name of YHWH is important...why we can't say that Buddah, Allah, Isis, etc are all different names for the same diety. But Arthur B. Roberts on Dawn is Coming addressed that in his lastest posting, and I don't feel much like getting overly theological right now.
Names? My husband only uses my name when he is annoyed with me - Maryellen, where did you leave the whatever.
When I was a little girl my mom kept telling me my name was Mary ELLEN, not just Mary which is why I began writing it as one word. Bernadette was my confirmation name, because I was born on Feb. 11 which is the day the Virgin Mary allegedly appeared to a young girl named Bernadette in Lourades France. Iachetta was my maiden name, in Italian it means little hatchet and when I was in fourth grade i started signing my papers Mary Ellen Little Hatchet because it sounded Indian until Sr. Mary Francis made me stop. My first husband's last name was Puff - and as his assistant (he was a magician), I was Genii Puff. When that marriage, and consequently show biz duo broke up, I was just Puff, until I married Pastor Art whose name is Brokop but I wish it was Richman because we are always broke...that's all for now
I humbly remain:
Maryellenbernadetteiachettageniipuffbrokop

About Prayer!

I've been going to a corporate prayer meeting for our community and the four corners region (the Colorado plateau - ask me sometime) on Mondays. Its an intercessory group...thats what its called. I've always had a problem with prayer - especially intercessory prayer. I have no problem giving thanks or glory to the LORD - and I can cry out Laments just as well as David or Jeremiah. But intercedeing and then ending the prayer with "Thy Will Be Done"...of course His will will be done - right? So why pray??? I've asked that one lots of times. Then again - in my heart of hearts I know full well the answer, so I'm just being argumentative.
For this particular post, I am digging deep into my personal archives. You won't find this on my blog. It's from one of my 30+ prayer journals. Something I wrote as we were preparing to do a seminar on the occult and spiritual warfare. We were at a time and place in our faith journey where people were seeing demons behind every bush. We actually heard an evangelist pray against the demon of baldness. I came up with these three questions concerning prayer.
When someone asks you for prayer, or when you find yourself in need of prayer, you need to ask these three questions concerning the crisis you are going to pray about.
1. Is this crisis a result of sin in your life? All sin, even the ones we repent of, carry with them consequences. Sometimes crisis is a result of sin, and we need to confess - repent - and accept the consequences. The Lord disciplines those He loves. Sometimes the crisis is a result of sin committed by someone else. In those cases we need to be sure that we have forgiven the offender, because unforgiveness in itself is a sin, and will, according to Scripture, block the blessings of the LORD.
2. Is this crisis directly from God to teach us or protect us? I used to argue with people who claimed nothing bad could come from God. That leads us to question just what is "bad"? I learned this lesson the first time I had to take my little baby for a shot. Here I was, the one person in the world that my 6 week old baby trusted the most in the world, and I was handing him over to a stranger who was going to stick a needle into his little leg. It was for his own good, but I couldn't explain it to him. It hurt and he cried. I couldn't explain to him the pain was only going to last for a moment. It seemed much longer than a moment to him. But maybe this crisis is a refiners fire, a pruning of the dead branches. I'm not sure how we can be sure if it is or not, but its something we need to consider.
3. If is isn't a result of sin, or a lesson from the LORD than could it actually be an attack from the enemy. Sometimes it is. He isn't very nice you know. But his tricks are always the same. Lies, Fear, Accusation! We can pray against the enemy, we can resist his tricks, we can shine light into the dark world he tries to drag us into with his lies and accusations. But that isn't the first thing we should do everytime we have a problem, or are asked to pray for a person. We can't ignore we have an enemy, nor can we blame him for every "bad" thing or crisis we find ourselves in.
One more thing - from my wise son
One time I was in a real desperate, selfpity, lamentation type of mood and praying LORD, where are you and when are you going to take care of this problem. I probably got into the LORD you are being mean...Lord do something (there are a lot of psalms like that so if David can do it, I can do it) but then my son said - Mom, you are asking God for cookies and He is in the middle of cooking dinner.
Wait upon the LORD and see that He is Good!
Be still and know that He is God.

A Path to Everywhere...

One of my favorite writers has just posted a wonderful theological some what tongue in cheek essay on universalism and relativisim and the exclusivity of Jesus' claims to which I give a resounding AMEN! Check it out on Dawn is Coming - http://arthurbroberts.blogspot.com/
I'll be back with my piece on prayer after church. Blessings

Somewhere

over the RAINBOW
I don’t know how to include pictures with my posts. If I did, I’d post a couple of pictures of rainbows. Specific Rainbows. My blog friend M.C. Pearson has a rainbow on her profile and seeing that rainbow got me thinking. I could write the whole history of our ministry here in New Mexico based on specific rainbow sightings, but it would probably end up being way too long and way too personal for a Blog posting. I did narrow it down to 11 and one of them has already been written about on Gateway of the Rock, so I only have to write about ten.
In the summer of 1998 we made our first trip from Denver to New Mexico to lead a prayer walk on the Navajo Reservation, sponsored by the Farmington Free Methodist church. As a result, I was invited to coordinate a children’s camp the same weekend Pastor Art was invited to a job interview for ministry at “the mission”. On the drive home through the beautiful mountain passes, feeling very encouraged and hopeful, there was a down pour, unusual because the sun was still shining very brightly, so of course, the rainbow was expected. It was glorious, and to the side of the car we could actually see where it began. I commented to my son I wondered what it was like to drive through a rainbow, and just minutes later I found out. We were surrounded by golden, colorful light.
The presence and glory of the Creator was tangible and I knew another great adventure was about to begin. About one month later, we were packed and ready to head south. It was my eldest son’s 18th birthday, and we were having a combination farewell, happy birthday party at our old church. Although we knew without a doubt that this was the LORD’s leading in our lives, we had mixed emotions. There was no promise of income, our two boys would be changing schools, and we were saying goodbye to some very special friends. The day of the party there was another rainbow, very vivid colors. I called my son outside and told him to look at the birthday gift the LORD had sent him. And the day we left, seconds before our new friend from New Mexico drove up with the U-haul, there was one more rainbow, one more sign that we were following the path the LORD had laid before us. There, that takes care of three. In the months to follow there were many more “sightings” always making me stop in my tracks and give glory to God. The next one I will tell about in detail was the one that came before the storm. Things had not turned out the way we expected. We found ourselves wondering why we had come to New Mexico in the first place, and would we ever have that ministry we had dreamt of?
My sons and I were driving home after a retreat into the mountains and the boys were bickering as only brothers in their late teens can. I was getting into it too, and it was feeling very unpleasant. Then there it was, stretching across the road, a beautiful fully double rainbow against a dark and stormy sky. I stopped the car and got out. I remember feeling so discouraged and frustrated. But the rainbow was so beautiful, a sign that God always keeps His promises. When we got home the bickering between the boys turned in to a huge battle, lots of yelling, lots of crying - the whole family trapped in a whirlwind, a twister…would we land in OZ? I’m not sure how many months or how many rainbows passed between that storm and the trip to a place called Pinedale. Pastor Art had done a revival there and there was talk about maybe moving there and ministering. We were going there to help with their Thanksgiving outreach. I wasn’t sure I wanted to move that far out onto the Rez. My mind was wandering into pointless fantasies as drove through the wilderness of the Southwest. But finally the LORD got my attention, and I sighed. “You know LORD, where ever you want us to be…just say the word.” And there was the rainbow. I took a picture of it. We did not move to Pinedale, although we have prayed with the pastor there and have watched with interest the new building project there. I believe that Rainbow was a “don’t argue with me” message. A “watch and pray” message. And maybe, someday we will be called to that ministry. If you, my dear blog friend, are still reading this, thank you for sticking with it. I guess, the LORD wants me to write this more for myself than for anyone else, but you, dear reader are more than welcome to share the experience. Well, after our fourth year in New Mexico, we had the opportunity to pastor the Open Bible Church in Farmington. The facility was very nice, but the mortgage was high and the congregation was small. We took the name “Gateway of the Rock.” We received the Isaiah 61 prophecy. Art became a licensed pastor with Open Bible Standard Churches, but eventually we had to sell the building. (on the Gateway of the Rock site there is a posting called “Mega Church, Micro Church” or something like that, that goes with this part of the story - May Archives http://christstone.blogspot.com The day in December that we started worshiping in our front room, when I went outside to watch for anyone that might actually come (doubting many if any would show up) there was a rainbow. And then the parade of familiar cars - again God was saying “I am with you.”
The past three years, for our family, have been very, very difficult. One of the hardest things I ever had to do in my whole life was to be part of a deposition concerning my eldest son and his terrible crime. I was scared and very upset at the prospect. On the way to the lawyers office I saw a rainbow. I had by then realized that rainbows are never just rainbows. Ok, I can do this LORD. Six hours later I was on my way home, feeling very drained. As I was entering the Reservation it began to rain, I mean it was pouring. An unusually heavy downpour. There was a guy hitch hiking and even though I don’t pick up hitch hikers, I said, out loud, “I don’t care how drunk he is, no one deserves to be out in this kind of rain.” When I pulled over, he and a friend I had not seen before got into the car. They were both obviously drunk. They reminded me of a movie I have seen many times, that tells different “Indian” legends - I thought, “Oh no, I’ve picked up spider and coyote.” Sure enough, right after I picked them up there appeared, on the side of the road, a rainbow. “Look, Look!” said Spider. “A rainbow! You are being blessed for picking us up.” Then they both began singing “This little light of mine…” Next…if you are interested, you should read “Rainbow Over Hogback” on the Gateway of the Rock site.
One time, my son prayed that the LORD would give me a rainbow on the drive home from visiting him in prison because I had seemed more depressed than usual. He did. There was also a rainbow on the day that that same son got home from prison. How many is that? Is anyone counting. The funniest rainbow was seen the last time I was tempted to go into the casino, back in September. There I sat, in the parking lot, knowing full well I should not go in. “Ok LORD, you show me a rainbow and I won’t go in.” So, in the cloudy sky I saw just a patch of color. A rainbow that was not fully formed. I had to look closely to see if it was even actually there. And the LORD says to my heart. “That’s all you’re getting. Now go home.” I did. Today is a very cold, sunny, windy day. My mind is full of a lot of possibilities. I am struggling with a situation that I have at church. The LORD seemed to be saying a whole lot to me this weekend. I’d like to go outside and see a rainbow right now. But rainbows don’t work that way. God doesn’t work that way.
That’s ok. My first “assignment is done. I need another cup of coffee. Blessings on you, whoever you are…for reading this whole silly thing. But if you did actually read it, don’t miss the installment on Gateway of the Rock…http://christstone.blogspot.com/ Rainbow over Hogback. That is one of the best!

more to come...

it has been a long weekend, and we need to be leaving for church NOW! but i needed to check out a few things here first and i have decided that i need to write three posts in the next day or so...
1. A Rainbow is Never Just a Rainbow
2. Three Questions About Prayer
3. It's All in The Name!
see you then...

So much to say...

One of my favorite places to visit these days, here in cyberspace, is the Recent Earth Quake site. I guess I have a "morbid" curiosity in the shaking of the planet. It's been nearly a year since the Tsunami shook the earth. I remember thinking it was the breaking of the sixth seal. I've been watching the heavens, waiting for the sky to split apart like a scroll. Then I had this bright idea that the scroll that John saw was actually the ariel view of the hurricanes.
But these days, what used to be called acts of God become ammunition for policital debates about global warming, over population, racisim and misappropiration of funds.
What wise person coined the phrase "going to hell in a hand basket"?
Wake up oh sleeper!
I've been "seeing visions" and even "dreaming dreams". In worship I have "watched" my students dance before the throne of God. In prayer I have ministered to the brokenhearted, proclaiming the favorable year of the LORD, at "the mission". Gateway of the Rock.
And still, in cyber space, I fall prey to accusations that I am "of the enemy" because of my take on the Augustinian doctrine of predestination and divine election, and that really bothers me more than I can say.
I have searched scripture. I have come to the realization that we must look at the truths proclaimed there in the context of the time and language in which they originated. I have come to realize that many of the doctrines of the Church come from Church Fathers who were antisemetic, and later anticatholic. And I have also been made painfully aware, that these beliefs of mine are considered heresy by many of my Christian brothers and sisters.
And my dearly beloved Pastor Art says "so you are TRYING to start another fight."
Not really.
And I am not really worried that I am not one of "the elect". I am not worried about where I am going to spend eternity. I know that God is LOVE. I know that God is Light and in Him there is no darkness. I know that God is there, and that those who seek Him will find Him. I know that Jesus is exactly what the Bible says He is. Not metaphorical. Savior, Redeemer and Friend! Wait, that's not from the Bible, it's from a song. Still I believe it.
I am one of those Whosoevers in John 3:16.
Time to sign off. And God Bless Us Everyone!

early morning insanity

I have something else to say today. I need to say it, I think. But I’m not so sure how it will be received. Its not a confession really. I already got burned once using this site as a confessional. And I don’t really believe what I am about to write. I know it will sound crazy, it is crazy. But it is weighing on me. I was praying it today as I drove from Farmington to Shiprock. And its wanting to be said.
I finished reading a book today. A silly, science fiction, Star Trek book called Q Squared. Quantum physics, string theory, multiverse vs. universe.
I like Star Trek kind of things. It was a good book for what it was. A story of multiple realities and an all powerful being who was playing with the threads of time. There was this one character, Jack, who unlike all the others only existed in one reality. In all the other realities he had died. And although he didn’t realized it, this state of being alone in the multiverse was affecting his emotional/mental state.
Maybe that is my problem. (No, I don’t really believe this). Maybe in all the other realities I didn’t live this long. Maybe in those other realities I just gave up. Now, I realize that there are not really any other realities (funny sentence that). There were times in the past, in my personal past, when I wanted to give up. But I didn’t. I used to imagine myself sitting in the presence of the Almighty and Him saying to me, “if you just held on a little longer, it would have all turned out ok.” And on the way home yesterday - it is yesterday now (another strange phrase) because it has taken so long to get this written. Anyway, on the way home I prayed “God, how much longer until it turns out ok?”
And it comes back around to the old debate. Is this whole mess God’s divine plan? And another question comes to mind. A question of assurance. I’ve been taught that you can be sure of your salvation. It goes along with the teaching of ‘once saved always saved’. If one can be sure of their salvation, can one then also be sure of their damnation? My daughter-in-law is sure of her damnation. She is convinced that her sin of adultery was part of God’s predestined plan for her life. There is a man who staggers into church every now and then. Usually during Bible studies or prayer groups. And he always asks the same question. “Why am I here? I didn’t ask for this. Why did God make me?” He knows Bible stories and church songs. He’s been down the Roman Road, a few times it sound like. He’s tried the Jesus way. It just doesn’t seem to work for him. He can’t seem to break the hold that alcohol has on him. He can’t seem to escape the darkness. I think he’s been taught somewhere about predestination or Divine election, and in his drunken stupor he realizes he’s one of the many who are predestined for hell. He did not ask for this.
And one more question, can one believe in God, love God, and still be damned? Like Cane, or Esau? Like Judas?
Well now, it’s time for a cup of coffee. Time for me to go out on the porch and wait for the sun to rise. It’s Sunday now. I am so glad it is Sunday.

One Hundred and One

According to my dashboard, this is my 101st posting. I’ve been thinking that perhaps it should be somehow more significant. Maybe a summary of all that I have learned in the 9 months that I’ve been blogging. It would be nice if I could say - I finally Get It! And then, with wisdom and confidence, declare the final answer to the big question - let there be LIGHT!
Blogging…it’s been fun. I’ve made new friends. Started a few wars. I’ve been read. Over 6000 hits. That amazes me. No, I don’t think I’ll quit. In fact, when I’m done with this post I’ll go visiting some of those friends. See what’s been happening. It’s been a while since I’ve been here. Work has been busy. There have been some family obligations that have required time. I was helping a friend with her midterm. And I’ve been sleeping. A lot! A sure sign of depression. My doctor actually put me on an anti-depressant. I don’t cry as much these days. But I still sleep.
When I started blogging I was in the midst of a faith crisis. I was at a cross roads of sorts.
The world was shaking, the darkness around me seemed very deep. And personally, my life was definitely not what I had expected to it to be when I surrendered it to the LORD over 25 years ago. I responded to a comment about open theism. I questioned the whole anti-emergent church rhetoric, especially after finding out that our denomination considered itself emergent. I defended Catholicism, only to be shot down by some prevatican II Catholics who consider all the rest of us - Catholics and non-Catholic damned. I found myself at theological odds with a pastor friend of mine over the Sovereignty of God and discovered an unlikely ally in a young pagan from my hometown.
A voice from my past. A wise young man who listened to Darth Vader and turned to the dark side.
Blogging has led me into some pretty serious Bible studies. It has given me a lot to pray about. But I still don’t get it. No, that’s not true. I do get it. I just don’t know exactly what to do with it. The personal stuff is killing me. And the global stuff is overwhelming. I’m feeling pretty small and insignificant. Powerless. I’m still at that crossroads but the light is about to change to green and I’m not sure where the road ahead is leading. I really rather just find a rock to sit on and wait for the whole scenario to play itself out. Storms, earthquakes, terrorism, the bird flu…can’t do anything about that now can I?
And then there was Lars.
When we first came to this part of the world, it was to pastor a tiny little multicultural church on a 50 year old mission complex, right on the boarder of the Navajo Reservation.
The director of the ministry was a Navajo gentlemen and that was good, since most “Indian” ministries are still run by “Whitemen”. But there were some things that were not so good. While “Pastor Art” was pasturing the church and I was heading up Children’s and Youth ministries, the church grew from about 12 to over 30 (in 4 months time). But there were some things that were not so good. There was another “white” couple at the mission. She worked in the office. He worked on the grounds. He also worked with a bunch of young boys. One of them was named Lars. Before long, all the “whites” were gone. Why and How doesn’t matter much. I’ll only say none of them, none of us were overjoyed about leaving. That was 8 years ago. A young man named Lars was murdered last week. I’m not sure it was the same Lars. It doesn’t matter. Violence at the gates. Darkness in the streets. I pray harder for my students. I pray harder as I drive the highway through the reservation. I pray harder when I worship on Sunday mornings with my Navajo brothers and sisters. I cry out “Thy will be done!” and I still wonder what that really means. Let there be Light dear Lord. Let Your Light shine through Me.

Dragons on the Loose!

just thought i'd mentione the "dragon slayer" is back on Dawn is Coming (see my links).
stories by my favorite sci/fi/fantasy/horror author...
now i need to go slay some dragons of my own...

Halloween

When I was a magician's assistance, known as Genii Puff, this was our busiest time of year. Everyone, it seemed, wanted a Magician, in the spirit of Houdini, to appear at their Halloween party. We did shows at country clubs, private parties, and even churches. There is a program about Harry Houdini on the History station tonight. I just may watch it for old times sake. Houdini died on Halloween. In the later years of his life, after his beloved mother died, he became obsessed with spiritism. He had engaged the services of several promonent mediums, in hopes of contactine his mother, only to discover them all to be fakes. He then set out to expose their trickery. Houdini vowed that if there was any way to return from the dead and communicate with the living, he would do it. There have been attempts to contact him every Halloween since his death. Official and unofficial seances. I've been to a few myself. OoooOoooOo
I'd like to share with you the account of a botched attempt to convert my magician and I to Chrisitanity. It wasn't Halloween. It was actually Christmas time, and we were working in the toy department of a big department store in Rochester, New York. We were demonstrating a magic kit, putting on hourly shows. A group of well meaning youth walked up to us after one of our shows and the leader of the pack declared, "We know who you are working for." As we looked at them in puzzelment, not knowing where the converstaion was headed, he continued - "You're working for the devil". This brought a chuckle from us. Yeah, right. The devil was interested in the cup and ball and sponge rabbit tricks this particular toy featured. But the youth were persistance. They declared that the Bible said that doing magic was a sin and that magicians "should not be suffered to live". "So you want to kill us?" They were beginning to give me the creeps. The magician challenged them to find in the Bible where it said such a thing. They only had New Testaments with them, and they couldn't find it (something like it is there, but they hadn't done their homework.) The leader said it was in the Old Testament, and they didn't have one. The magician was persistant too. "Let's go down to the book department. Surely they have a complete Bible there." So we all headed for the elevator. The verse they managed to find in the Old Testament used the word "Necramancer" not magician. The kids said it was the same thing. It's not. The leader, who began to realize this was going no where, invited us to attend a Bible Study at his church the next Sunday night. He gave us the address. The magician asked if he should bring anything (he was thinking of 'putting on a show' for them.) "Only a Bible" was the reply and the kids (who were not much younger than we were at the time) walked away. The magician had a plan. We had this trick book. It was black and it very much resembled a Bible, but when you opened it, it burst into flames. But I convinced him it wasn't a good idea. I never had gotten an answer to the Question about whether or not they wanted to kill us, and I was afraid they might decide to stone us or burn us at the stake. That was over 30 years ago. I am saved now. The magician is not. God have mercy on his soul...

As the sun goes down...

On my "Einstien" post, Jason asked about how I explained prophesy if God doesn't know what choices will be made before they are made. I begin my answer by pointing out that Yahweh is a covenant making and a covenant keeping God. Most, if not all, the promises made by HIM are preceded by an "if". And for all blessings and curses, we are given a choice. Will we or won't we?
Through the Word, our LORD has revealed Himself to us as a loving parent. Our Father!
I am a parent (and a grandparent as well). I am merely human, and quite flawed, but there are many times when I can predict what my children and grandchildren are going to do. I can look out the window at my grand daughter riding her bike a little too fast, and I can know if she doesn't slow down she will fall. I can even know that when she falls, she'll come running to me and I will wash off her owie and put a bandage on it. When they were little, I would tell my boys not to climb the tree in the vacent lot. They had the choice whether or not to climb. I hoped they would obey, but I wasn't surprised when they didn't. Why did I keep bandages and bactine in the medicine chest?
God knows the time and the seasons - He put them into motion. He knows the last day from the first. He determined it. For each human soul that ever was or ever will be - God has a plan. A good plan, to prosper - not to distroy. And every human soul has a choice, a multitude of choices.
And God has bandgaes and bactine in the medicine chest when we need them.
I know this. I can understand. I see it and can feel it. Sometimes I just don't have the right words to explain it. I go back to Genesis 6:6. When all mankind was making bad choices and all human thought was dark and evil, and God grieved that He had even made them...but Noah found favor in the eyes of God.
I am not an open theist, in the truest sense of the word, because I believe in the truth and authority of the Bible, I beleive in absolute Truth - Jesus Christ, literally and historically as well as spiritually. I believe in His cross. I do not believe that truth is relative. If anything, I would say I am a Weslyan, sympathetic to Catholisim, and in love with Jesus.
And I am still singing "shine Jesus, shine!"

Mid-day

I just wanted to share a portion of John chapter one from The Message, a version lots of people have a problem with. I think this is beautifully said:
We all live off His generous bounty, gift after gift.
We got the basics from Moses,
and then this exuberant giving and receiving,
this endless knowing and understanding -
all this came through Jesus the Messiah.
No one has ever seen God, not so much as a glimpse.
This one-of-a-kind God Experssion, who exists at the very heart of the Father,
has made Him plain as day!

As The Sun Rises

Out my kitchen window it is still night. There is one bright shining star in the west. My indication that it will be another clear, sunny day in Shiprock. I am thinking of Isaiah 60.
"Arise, shine, for you light has come. And the glory of the Lord has risen upon you. For behold darkness (great darkness) has covered the earth, and deep darkness the peoples, But the LORD will rise upon you..." Shine Jesus Shine. I think one of the most beautiful, most important passages of Scripture is the first chapter of John. The apostle John was a remarkable man wasn't he? He alone of the twelve was not successfully martyered. Not that the Romans didn't try. And to him was revealed the mysteries of the last and future days. And he began his gospel with the very words that the whole of Scripture begins. "In the beginning..."
In the beginning was the Word...and the Word was God
In Him was life and the life was the light of men, and the light shines in the darkness and the darkness did not comprehend it...
There was the true light, which coming into the world enlightened every man...
the word became flesh and dwelt among us.
Shine Jesus Shine!
In Chapter 3:19, right after the all too famous verse...For God so Loved the World...
John quotes Jesus as saying: And this is the judgement, that the LIGHT is come into the world and men loved the darkness rather than the light, for their deeds were evil...He who practices the truth comes to the light...
and in Chapter 8: 12
I Am the light of the world, he who follows me shall not walk in the darkness but shall have the light of life.
And toward the end of his life, many years after witnessing the cross and what followed, John wrote: God is light and in Him there is no darkness at all. If we say we have fellowship with Him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth.
Once I was lost in the darkness, and began a quest for enlightenment. I knew about Jesus, but I thought there had to be more. I searched diligently and sincerely. On my search I met a man who told me to lay blame and to accept the fact that to achieve true power I would have to be willing to hurt others. That if others were hurt by my actions it was their own fault for letting themselves be vulnerable. Darkness. Yin and Yang. The balance of good and evil. But instead I chose the LIGHT.
That is why I am where I am now. That is why I am who I am.
I liked that Einstien thing I posted because it explained darkness as the absence of light and evil as the absense of God. That makes a lot of sense to me.
By the way, it was Augustine in the third or fourth century that set the foundations of the doctrine of personal predestination and divine election. It was he who explained what those verses meant. And even Augustine saw a problem with the logical conclusion that would be drawn if one brought the argument to its final conclusion. If and Then...If and Therefore...
Is the Sovereign God the author of evil? Is the sinful nature of man, and are the consequences of man's sinfulness all part of God's perfect and divine plan? Is sin darkness? In God there is NO Darkness. Use that as the premise when searching the Word for Truth. Go back to the time and place that our LORD walked this planet in the flesh, and see how the scholars of that time would understand His words. Understand that first the writers of the New Testament were Jews, and although they all experienced a paradime shift because of their encounter with Jesus, what they wrote was still based on Jewish understanding. Understand that God not only chose the time and the scribes but also the languages through which to reveal His Truth. Not that we need to understand Hebrew and Greek to understand that truth, but it was not just to make things tough on young Seminarians that in years past, a man called to be a minister of the gospel was expected to study those languages. The sky out my window is lighter now, and if I don't gulp down my coffee and run out the door I will be late for work. I know what song will be my prayer as I drive down the road. An oldie but holy...Shine Jesus Shine!.

From My Best Friend Bobbie

I don't know who wrote the following, it was forwarded to me by my "bestest" friend in the whole world. Thanks Bobbie.
It sort of goes along with the comment thread that exists in my post about prayer (the second one down I think).
I thought this was as good an explaination as any of why we can say - God Is, God Is love, Evil Exisits. It is atleast the best I've heard in a long time...

Did God Create Evil?

The university professor challenged his students with this question: "Did God create everything that exists? "

A student bravely replied "Yes, he did!"

"God created everything?" the professor asked.

"Yes sir," the student replied.

The professor answered, "If God created everything, then God created evil since evil exists, and according to the principal that our works define who we are, then God is evil." The professor was quite pleased with himself and boasted to the students that he had proven once more that the Christian faith was a myth.

Another student raised his hand and said,
"Can I ask you a question professor?"

"Of course," replied the professor.

The student stood up and asked, "Professor does cold exist?"

The professor replied "Of course it exists. Have you never been cold?"

The students snickered at the young man's question. The young man replied, "In fact sir, cold does not exist.
According to the laws of physics, what we consider cold is in reality the absence of heat. Everybody or object is susceptible to study when it has or transmits energy, and heat is what makes a body or matter have or transmit energy. Absolute zero (- 460 degrees F) is the total absence of heat. Cold does not exist. We have created this word to describe how we feel if we have no heat.

The student continued. "Professor, does darkness exist?"

The professor responded, "Of course it does."

The student replied, "Once again you are wrong sir. Darkness does not exist either. Darkness is in reality the absence of light. Light we can study, but not darkness. In fact we can use Newton's prism to break white light into many colors and study the various wavelengths of each color. You cannot measure darkness. A simple ray of light can break into a world of darkness and illuminate it. How can you know how dark a certain space is? You measure the amount of light present. Isn't this correct?
Darkness is a term used by man to describe what happens when there is no light present."

Finally the young man asked the professor. "Sir, does evil exist?" Now uncertain, the professor responded, "Of course as I have already said. We see it every day. It is in the daily example of man's inhumanity to man. It is in the multitude of crime and violence everywhere in the world. These manifestations are nothing else but evil."

To this the student replied, "Evil does not exist sir, or at least it does not exist unto itself. Evil is simply the absence of God. It is just like darkness and cold, a word that man has created to describe the absence of God. God did not create evil. Evil is the result of what happens when man does not have God's love present in his heart. It's like the cold that comes when there is no heat or the darkness that comes when there is no light."

The professor sat down. The young man's name --- Albert Einstein.

The Joy of The LORD is your strength

Remember that old song - ha ha ha
Didn't know it was in Nehemiah.
I was thinking of that verse on the way home today. I'm not feeling very joyful. I've said many times, over the past three years, that the only joyful - happy thing in my life was my little Elijah.
He kept my heart beating when everything around me was dark and gloomy! And I may not see him again for a long, long time. And I'm worried about him. And as the tears started to leak out of my old eyes again, I remember that song...the joy of the LORD is my strength. Or should be. Right? I remember early in my walk with the LORD thinking maybe we were misreading that verse. Maybe it wasn't about us being joyful. Maybe it was saying that when we were strong it gave God joy...that He could look down us, as we struggled but kept going, as we stumbled but did not fall, did not give up...that our strength gave Him joy...like a parent who is proud of the winning child. I had to look it up. It is in Nehemiah 8 - verse10.
"this day is holy to the LORD your God; do not mourn or weep...(they were crying because they realized that they had not kept up their part of the covenent)Then he said to them, "Go eat, of the fat, drink of the sweet, and send portions to him who has nothing prepared, for this day is holy to our LORD. Do not be grieved, for the joy of the LORD is your strength."
Well, right now I don't feel very joyful or very strong...but it is a beautiful day, and I'll be having lunch with my eldest son in a few minutes...thanks be to God.

Psalm 77

But I can still pray for my personal problems sometimes, can't I?
I look at the world around me, the dark - stormy - shakey world. And I know my problems are insignificant when you look at the Big Picture...but oh, it hurts so bad and the tears are always so close to the surface. Sometimes they just start leaking out.
"I cried out to God for help - I cried out to God to hear me! When I was in distress I sought the LORD...at night I stretched out untiring hands and my soul refused to be comforted,
I remembered you, O God, and I groaned. I mused and my spirit grew faint..."
You can read the rest on your own if you like...I will read it when I get to work, and my eyes have cleared. Does it end in hope, like so many of David's laments? Are we supposed to find comfort in knowing that through out the ages, God has often treated his children like this?
Is there any reason for praying at all? His will shall be done, no matter what we do, no matter if we agree with it or not. Not mine, but Yours oh LORD...what choice do we have. Ah, but that's the main point isn't it? Do we have a choice? Let's not go there again.

Intercessory Prayer

This has to be real quick, although I could probably spend hours here today. Anybody pay attention to the Millions More Movement rally this weekend in Washington DC.? Anybody as shaken as I am over the continual invocation of Allah over our Nation's Capitol? Any mention of Jesus was in a list of prophets or teachers, usually mid way through the list that included Budha, Martin Luther King JR. and Mohammad. But that isn't my main subject right now...
During worship yesterday, I fell to my knees, wanting to pray, needing to pray for my sweet grandson Elijah, and for my Son (named for another prophet), and the LORD clearly told me not to. He said "lay them down at my feet and leave them there...you are to "intercede" for your students - for the ones I have entrusted to your care. Focus on them. It was hard. It wasn't where my heart was. But it was powerful. I never much understood intercessory prayer. Why tell God what He needs to do, or ask Him to change His mind, or demand that he hurry up? That was the way intercession seemed to me. Why not just say, Hey God, see that problem over there? Thy will be done...amen!" Besides, why should we intercede when there is only One to intercede, namely Jesus. But this Sunday, as I knelt at the alter - seeing my students, all of whom seems to be lost in the dark - seeing their beautiful faces and imagining them all worshiping the LORD, I think I got at least a hint of what intercession is all about. Maybe?
Blessings all! Oh yeah, The prodical son has returned...we'll be killing the fatted calf soon.

Psalm 142

A lament...


I will write to vent, I will write with tears in my eyes…
Today, out here (in here) somewhere I read these words, let me cut and paste them if I can: The answer is God-centeredness. Meekness is the absolute acceptance of God’s care and managing of our lives. Our task in life changes. We are responsible for doing His will of love in every situation, and He is responsible for the outcomes. We are no longer in management. We are meek.Every human relationship has power dynamics and politics. The meek do not manage power or play the games of politics and by so doing it is the meek that will inherit the earth for only the meek are truly free, trusting in God for outcomes, to live a moral life based not on power and results but on principles and love.
What does that say? What does it say for students who have been entrusted to my care and just don’t care at all about their education or their futures. They are so used to failure and are so surrounded - emerged in hopelessness, that there just doesn’t seem to be any hope.
But that isn’t why I am crying.
It should be.
The LORD told me back in January that I needn't worry about my sons or my grandson…that He was holding them safe and secure…how did He put it?
“don’t worry about them, they are in my hands…I am taking care of them. I will work it all out. Things might have to be shaken up a bit, but don’t worry when things start to shake. I’m working it out…you need to focus on the students I entrust you with, they are your ministry.” That’s how I wrote it down in my prayer journal.
Meekness is the absolute acceptance of God’s care and managing of our lives? Trusting God for the outcomes? Oh dear God, I really don’t think you are doing a very good job! Somewhere else today I read a “study” of Psalm 142 - to be prayed when life sucks…the “priest” said something like that.
So here is Maryellen’s version of Psalm 142 - because right now I really feel like life sucks!
I cry aloud with my voice to the LORD! I beg - plead - alright, I’ll use supplicate. Here my voice Oh LORD!
I pour out my complaint before Him, I declare my troubles - my eldest son will be getting out of prison soon, it’s been three long years since this ordeal began - and it will never, ever end until the KINGDOM comes…He should have been out two weeks ago. Paper work, red tape, no one will be an advocate for sinners as vile as he is, yet YOU valued him enough to die on the Cross for him, and he does love YOU. Romans 8:28? How can any of this work out for the good? And my younger son, he is homeless, sleeping on a friends couch. His car needs expensive repairs. And his ex-wife is refusing him the right to take his son anywhere because his brother is getting out of jail. And his son, my dear little Elijah - is sick, and he is crying for his daddy, and that woman, that adulteress says his daddy can’t spend the weekends with him unless - until the evil uncle leaves town. Menee and Papa Art can’t see him either.
How can anyone get a new apartment, car, and hire a lawyer on wages earned at a pizza joint…no - the church can not help.
back to the Psalm.
My spirit is overwhelmed within me. God knows the path I am walking. He knows the traps that have been set for me and my family. God knows. This is part of His plan? To teach me meekness? I feel as if there is no escape.
And there is no one in this life who can help. God is my only refuge. Oh Lord, bring my soul out of prison, literally, bring my son out of prison. And rescue my other son and grandson while you are at it. Will He deal bountifully with me? Am I as forsaken as I feel?
These are such little problems in the vast scheme of things. People are dying - children are dying. The earth is quaking and storms are raging. I need to focus. I need to trust and obey. But I am so tired. Feeling so old and tired. I need to let God manage things and trust Him for the outcome...but it is so hard.