everyone counts

Saturday, January 07, 2006

So What

I was in the middle of writing my next post,
woe is me, lamentations
and for some mysterious reason, it disappeared from the screen...gone
oh well, so what, it was just a bunch of immature laments, generated by self pity, mood swings, hormonal imbalance and hot flashes.
are you hearing the voices shouting and crying in the middle east?
and all the widows and orphans crying in the aftermath of floods, and hurricanes, and earthquakes, war and disaster?
and I believed that the LORD was telling me to trust Him concerning the matters of my family, my sons and my grandson. That He would take care of them, and I should focus my prayer on the students entrusted to my care, to stand in the gap for them, and now, one has been killed, violently and tragically and still the crisis in my own family continues.
And I am a seasoned, mature, Biblically literate Ministroally experienced, woman
who feels like a child, afraid of the dark.

4 comments:

Wanderer said...

I must say, not to belittle the rest of the post, that the last comment struck me as ironic.

During high school, around the time I met Martha, I was extremely photo-sensitive. Painfully blinded by even the slightest amount of light, I was unable to see for nearly a year. (I look at the last sentence and see metaphors for a "born again story" so I assure you that I am being literal.) The term for this condition is photophobia. Translated, it means fear of the light. Understandable, since it is painful to one with the condition.

I think back on our conversation about the meaning of light and dark to each of us respectfully, and find it interesting that each of the things that the one of us metaphorically clings to, the other has a real life application of a fear of.

I hope the above made sense, but I have rewritten it four times, knowing what I want to say, and I am not sure I follow it. So I will just say that I hope things are looking up for you.

Arthur Brokop II said...

I do get it,
and i find many things about this blogging relationship of ours interesting...a rather unique connection, some incredible parallels as well as defined, apparently unresolvable differences.i'm glad your mother taught you to respect your elders.

Wanderer said...

Respect for my elders, respect for my elders, (flipping through old notebooks of "things mom says") oh, right, there it is. I'll be darned.

BTW - As a side note to the irony of our relationship and little blogging notes, my confirmation word is godwm. God: W(oman) or M(an)? Or am I reading to much into random letter generation?

Grey Owl said...

Maryellen - I wish I could say something nice and encouraging here, but I've been in that place you are and I I find that listening to "You're Everywhere" by Third Day tends to help; it reminds me that "from the lowest depths to the heavens" God pursues us. I'll be praying.