everyone counts

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

From my friend Lisa -

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's
already
tomorrow in Australia ." (Charles Schultz)

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

appearing with the permission of one of my students

For those of you interested in some of the Traditions of The Navajo People...

Thanksgiving Traditions of a New Mexico Family

By Merilu

On Thanksgiving I went to my grandmother’s house and on Thanksgiving my cousin came back from Afghanistan. And we had dinner with my cousin and we butchered a sheep at my grandmother’s house. After that we played my favorite game, the Navajo Shoe game and I had to sing the Navajo Shoe Game song because I knew the song. I learned how to weave with the grandmother and I did the spinning for her. Then I ate my favorite food, blood sauce and that’s where I went on Thanksgiving.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Whats in a Name?

I was planning on writing a piece on why the name of Jesus,
the name of YHWH is important...why we can't say that Buddah, Allah, Isis, etc are all different names for the same diety. But Arthur B. Roberts on Dawn is Coming addressed that in his lastest posting, and I don't feel much like getting overly theological right now.
Names? My husband only uses my name when he is annoyed with me - Maryellen, where did you leave the whatever.
When I was a little girl my mom kept telling me my name was Mary ELLEN, not just Mary which is why I began writing it as one word. Bernadette was my confirmation name, because I was born on Feb. 11 which is the day the Virgin Mary allegedly appeared to a young girl named Bernadette in Lourades France. Iachetta was my maiden name, in Italian it means little hatchet and when I was in fourth grade i started signing my papers Mary Ellen Little Hatchet because it sounded Indian until Sr. Mary Francis made me stop. My first husband's last name was Puff - and as his assistant (he was a magician), I was Genii Puff. When that marriage, and consequently show biz duo broke up, I was just Puff, until I married Pastor Art whose name is Brokop but I wish it was Richman because we are always broke...that's all for now
I humbly remain:
Maryellenbernadetteiachettageniipuffbrokop

Sunday, November 27, 2005

About Prayer!

I've been going to a corporate prayer meeting for our community and the four corners region (the Colorado plateau - ask me sometime) on Mondays. Its an intercessory group...thats what its called. I've always had a problem with prayer - especially intercessory prayer. I have no problem giving thanks or glory to the LORD - and I can cry out Laments just as well as David or Jeremiah. But intercedeing and then ending the prayer with "Thy Will Be Done"...of course His will will be done - right? So why pray??? I've asked that one lots of times. Then again - in my heart of hearts I know full well the answer, so I'm just being argumentative.
For this particular post, I am digging deep into my personal archives. You won't find this on my blog. It's from one of my 30+ prayer journals. Something I wrote as we were preparing to do a seminar on the occult and spiritual warfare. We were at a time and place in our faith journey where people were seeing demons behind every bush. We actually heard an evangelist pray against the demon of baldness. I came up with these three questions concerning prayer.
When someone asks you for prayer, or when you find yourself in need of prayer, you need to ask these three questions concerning the crisis you are going to pray about.
1. Is this crisis a result of sin in your life? All sin, even the ones we repent of, carry with them consequences. Sometimes crisis is a result of sin, and we need to confess - repent - and accept the consequences. The Lord disciplines those He loves. Sometimes the crisis is a result of sin committed by someone else. In those cases we need to be sure that we have forgiven the offender, because unforgiveness in itself is a sin, and will, according to Scripture, block the blessings of the LORD.
2. Is this crisis directly from God to teach us or protect us? I used to argue with people who claimed nothing bad could come from God. That leads us to question just what is "bad"? I learned this lesson the first time I had to take my little baby for a shot. Here I was, the one person in the world that my 6 week old baby trusted the most in the world, and I was handing him over to a stranger who was going to stick a needle into his little leg. It was for his own good, but I couldn't explain it to him. It hurt and he cried. I couldn't explain to him the pain was only going to last for a moment. It seemed much longer than a moment to him. But maybe this crisis is a refiners fire, a pruning of the dead branches. I'm not sure how we can be sure if it is or not, but its something we need to consider.
3. If is isn't a result of sin, or a lesson from the LORD than could it actually be an attack from the enemy. Sometimes it is. He isn't very nice you know. But his tricks are always the same. Lies, Fear, Accusation! We can pray against the enemy, we can resist his tricks, we can shine light into the dark world he tries to drag us into with his lies and accusations. But that isn't the first thing we should do everytime we have a problem, or are asked to pray for a person. We can't ignore we have an enemy, nor can we blame him for every "bad" thing or crisis we find ourselves in.
One more thing - from my wise son
One time I was in a real desperate, selfpity, lamentation type of mood and praying LORD, where are you and when are you going to take care of this problem. I probably got into the LORD you are being mean...Lord do something (there are a lot of psalms like that so if David can do it, I can do it) but then my son said - Mom, you are asking God for cookies and He is in the middle of cooking dinner.
Wait upon the LORD and see that He is Good!
Be still and know that He is God.

A Path to Everywhere...

One of my favorite writers has just posted a wonderful theological some what tongue in cheek essay on universalism and relativisim and the exclusivity of Jesus' claims to which I give a resounding AMEN! Check it out on Dawn is Coming - http://arthurbroberts.blogspot.com/
I'll be back with my piece on prayer after church. Blessings

Somewhere

over the RAINBOW
I don’t know how to include pictures with my posts. If I did, I’d post a couple of pictures of rainbows. Specific Rainbows. My blog friend M.C. Pearson has a rainbow on her profile and seeing that rainbow got me thinking. I could write the whole history of our ministry here in New Mexico based on specific rainbow sightings, but it would probably end up being way too long and way too personal for a Blog posting. I did narrow it down to 11 and one of them has already been written about on Gateway of the Rock, so I only have to write about ten.
In the summer of 1998 we made our first trip from Denver to New Mexico to lead a prayer walk on the Navajo Reservation, sponsored by the Farmington Free Methodist church. As a result, I was invited to coordinate a children’s camp the same weekend Pastor Art was invited to a job interview for ministry at “the mission”. On the drive home through the beautiful mountain passes, feeling very encouraged and hopeful, there was a down pour, unusual because the sun was still shining very brightly, so of course, the rainbow was expected. It was glorious, and to the side of the car we could actually see where it began. I commented to my son I wondered what it was like to drive through a rainbow, and just minutes later I found out. We were surrounded by golden, colorful light.
The presence and glory of the Creator was tangible and I knew another great adventure was about to begin. About one month later, we were packed and ready to head south. It was my eldest son’s 18th birthday, and we were having a combination farewell, happy birthday party at our old church. Although we knew without a doubt that this was the LORD’s leading in our lives, we had mixed emotions. There was no promise of income, our two boys would be changing schools, and we were saying goodbye to some very special friends. The day of the party there was another rainbow, very vivid colors. I called my son outside and told him to look at the birthday gift the LORD had sent him. And the day we left, seconds before our new friend from New Mexico drove up with the U-haul, there was one more rainbow, one more sign that we were following the path the LORD had laid before us. There, that takes care of three. In the months to follow there were many more “sightings” always making me stop in my tracks and give glory to God. The next one I will tell about in detail was the one that came before the storm. Things had not turned out the way we expected. We found ourselves wondering why we had come to New Mexico in the first place, and would we ever have that ministry we had dreamt of?
My sons and I were driving home after a retreat into the mountains and the boys were bickering as only brothers in their late teens can. I was getting into it too, and it was feeling very unpleasant. Then there it was, stretching across the road, a beautiful fully double rainbow against a dark and stormy sky. I stopped the car and got out. I remember feeling so discouraged and frustrated. But the rainbow was so beautiful, a sign that God always keeps His promises. When we got home the bickering between the boys turned in to a huge battle, lots of yelling, lots of crying - the whole family trapped in a whirlwind, a twister…would we land in OZ? I’m not sure how many months or how many rainbows passed between that storm and the trip to a place called Pinedale. Pastor Art had done a revival there and there was talk about maybe moving there and ministering. We were going there to help with their Thanksgiving outreach. I wasn’t sure I wanted to move that far out onto the Rez. My mind was wandering into pointless fantasies as drove through the wilderness of the Southwest. But finally the LORD got my attention, and I sighed. “You know LORD, where ever you want us to be…just say the word.” And there was the rainbow. I took a picture of it. We did not move to Pinedale, although we have prayed with the pastor there and have watched with interest the new building project there. I believe that Rainbow was a “don’t argue with me” message. A “watch and pray” message. And maybe, someday we will be called to that ministry. If you, my dear blog friend, are still reading this, thank you for sticking with it. I guess, the LORD wants me to write this more for myself than for anyone else, but you, dear reader are more than welcome to share the experience. Well, after our fourth year in New Mexico, we had the opportunity to pastor the Open Bible Church in Farmington. The facility was very nice, but the mortgage was high and the congregation was small. We took the name “Gateway of the Rock.” We received the Isaiah 61 prophecy. Art became a licensed pastor with Open Bible Standard Churches, but eventually we had to sell the building. (on the Gateway of the Rock site there is a posting called “Mega Church, Micro Church” or something like that, that goes with this part of the story - May Archives http://christstone.blogspot.com The day in December that we started worshiping in our front room, when I went outside to watch for anyone that might actually come (doubting many if any would show up) there was a rainbow. And then the parade of familiar cars - again God was saying “I am with you.”
The past three years, for our family, have been very, very difficult. One of the hardest things I ever had to do in my whole life was to be part of a deposition concerning my eldest son and his terrible crime. I was scared and very upset at the prospect. On the way to the lawyers office I saw a rainbow. I had by then realized that rainbows are never just rainbows. Ok, I can do this LORD. Six hours later I was on my way home, feeling very drained. As I was entering the Reservation it began to rain, I mean it was pouring. An unusually heavy downpour. There was a guy hitch hiking and even though I don’t pick up hitch hikers, I said, out loud, “I don’t care how drunk he is, no one deserves to be out in this kind of rain.” When I pulled over, he and a friend I had not seen before got into the car. They were both obviously drunk. They reminded me of a movie I have seen many times, that tells different “Indian” legends - I thought, “Oh no, I’ve picked up spider and coyote.” Sure enough, right after I picked them up there appeared, on the side of the road, a rainbow. “Look, Look!” said Spider. “A rainbow! You are being blessed for picking us up.” Then they both began singing “This little light of mine…” Next…if you are interested, you should read “Rainbow Over Hogback” on the Gateway of the Rock site.
One time, my son prayed that the LORD would give me a rainbow on the drive home from visiting him in prison because I had seemed more depressed than usual. He did. There was also a rainbow on the day that that same son got home from prison. How many is that? Is anyone counting. The funniest rainbow was seen the last time I was tempted to go into the casino, back in September. There I sat, in the parking lot, knowing full well I should not go in. “Ok LORD, you show me a rainbow and I won’t go in.” So, in the cloudy sky I saw just a patch of color. A rainbow that was not fully formed. I had to look closely to see if it was even actually there. And the LORD says to my heart. “That’s all you’re getting. Now go home.” I did. Today is a very cold, sunny, windy day. My mind is full of a lot of possibilities. I am struggling with a situation that I have at church. The LORD seemed to be saying a whole lot to me this weekend. I’d like to go outside and see a rainbow right now. But rainbows don’t work that way. God doesn’t work that way.
That’s ok. My first “assignment is done. I need another cup of coffee. Blessings on you, whoever you are…for reading this whole silly thing. But if you did actually read it, don’t miss the installment on Gateway of the Rock…http://christstone.blogspot.com/ Rainbow over Hogback. That is one of the best!

more to come...

it has been a long weekend, and we need to be leaving for church NOW! but i needed to check out a few things here first and i have decided that i need to write three posts in the next day or so...
1. A Rainbow is Never Just a Rainbow
2. Three Questions About Prayer
3. It's All in The Name!
see you then...

Friday, November 25, 2005

So much to say...

One of my favorite places to visit these days, here in cyberspace, is the Recent Earth Quake site. I guess I have a "morbid" curiosity in the shaking of the planet. It's been nearly a year since the Tsunami shook the earth. I remember thinking it was the breaking of the sixth seal. I've been watching the heavens, waiting for the sky to split apart like a scroll. Then I had this bright idea that the scroll that John saw was actually the ariel view of the hurricanes.
But these days, what used to be called acts of God become ammunition for policital debates about global warming, over population, racisim and misappropiration of funds.
What wise person coined the phrase "going to hell in a hand basket"?
Wake up oh sleeper!
I've been "seeing visions" and even "dreaming dreams". In worship I have "watched" my students dance before the throne of God. In prayer I have ministered to the brokenhearted, proclaiming the favorable year of the LORD, at "the mission". Gateway of the Rock.
And still, in cyber space, I fall prey to accusations that I am "of the enemy" because of my take on the Augustinian doctrine of predestination and divine election, and that really bothers me more than I can say.
I have searched scripture. I have come to the realization that we must look at the truths proclaimed there in the context of the time and language in which they originated. I have come to realize that many of the doctrines of the Church come from Church Fathers who were antisemetic, and later anticatholic. And I have also been made painfully aware, that these beliefs of mine are considered heresy by many of my Christian brothers and sisters.
And my dearly beloved Pastor Art says "so you are TRYING to start another fight."
Not really.
And I am not really worried that I am not one of "the elect". I am not worried about where I am going to spend eternity. I know that God is LOVE. I know that God is Light and in Him there is no darkness. I know that God is there, and that those who seek Him will find Him. I know that Jesus is exactly what the Bible says He is. Not metaphorical. Savior, Redeemer and Friend! Wait, that's not from the Bible, it's from a song. Still I believe it.
I am one of those Whosoevers in John 3:16.
Time to sign off. And God Bless Us Everyone!

Sunday, November 13, 2005

early morning insanity

I have something else to say today. I need to say it, I think. But I’m not so sure how it will be received. Its not a confession really. I already got burned once using this site as a confessional. And I don’t really believe what I am about to write. I know it will sound crazy, it is crazy. But it is weighing on me. I was praying it today as I drove from Farmington to Shiprock. And its wanting to be said.
I finished reading a book today. A silly, science fiction, Star Trek book called Q Squared. Quantum physics, string theory, multiverse vs. universe.
I like Star Trek kind of things. It was a good book for what it was. A story of multiple realities and an all powerful being who was playing with the threads of time. There was this one character, Jack, who unlike all the others only existed in one reality. In all the other realities he had died. And although he didn’t realized it, this state of being alone in the multiverse was affecting his emotional/mental state.
Maybe that is my problem. (No, I don’t really believe this). Maybe in all the other realities I didn’t live this long. Maybe in those other realities I just gave up. Now, I realize that there are not really any other realities (funny sentence that). There were times in the past, in my personal past, when I wanted to give up. But I didn’t. I used to imagine myself sitting in the presence of the Almighty and Him saying to me, “if you just held on a little longer, it would have all turned out ok.” And on the way home yesterday - it is yesterday now (another strange phrase) because it has taken so long to get this written. Anyway, on the way home I prayed “God, how much longer until it turns out ok?”
And it comes back around to the old debate. Is this whole mess God’s divine plan? And another question comes to mind. A question of assurance. I’ve been taught that you can be sure of your salvation. It goes along with the teaching of ‘once saved always saved’. If one can be sure of their salvation, can one then also be sure of their damnation? My daughter-in-law is sure of her damnation. She is convinced that her sin of adultery was part of God’s predestined plan for her life. There is a man who staggers into church every now and then. Usually during Bible studies or prayer groups. And he always asks the same question. “Why am I here? I didn’t ask for this. Why did God make me?” He knows Bible stories and church songs. He’s been down the Roman Road, a few times it sound like. He’s tried the Jesus way. It just doesn’t seem to work for him. He can’t seem to break the hold that alcohol has on him. He can’t seem to escape the darkness. I think he’s been taught somewhere about predestination or Divine election, and in his drunken stupor he realizes he’s one of the many who are predestined for hell. He did not ask for this.
And one more question, can one believe in God, love God, and still be damned? Like Cane, or Esau? Like Judas?
Well now, it’s time for a cup of coffee. Time for me to go out on the porch and wait for the sun to rise. It’s Sunday now. I am so glad it is Sunday.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

One Hundred and One

According to my dashboard, this is my 101st posting. I’ve been thinking that perhaps it should be somehow more significant. Maybe a summary of all that I have learned in the 9 months that I’ve been blogging. It would be nice if I could say - I finally Get It! And then, with wisdom and confidence, declare the final answer to the big question - let there be LIGHT!
Blogging…it’s been fun. I’ve made new friends. Started a few wars. I’ve been read. Over 6000 hits. That amazes me. No, I don’t think I’ll quit. In fact, when I’m done with this post I’ll go visiting some of those friends. See what’s been happening. It’s been a while since I’ve been here. Work has been busy. There have been some family obligations that have required time. I was helping a friend with her midterm. And I’ve been sleeping. A lot! A sure sign of depression. My doctor actually put me on an anti-depressant. I don’t cry as much these days. But I still sleep.
When I started blogging I was in the midst of a faith crisis. I was at a cross roads of sorts.
The world was shaking, the darkness around me seemed very deep. And personally, my life was definitely not what I had expected to it to be when I surrendered it to the LORD over 25 years ago. I responded to a comment about open theism. I questioned the whole anti-emergent church rhetoric, especially after finding out that our denomination considered itself emergent. I defended Catholicism, only to be shot down by some prevatican II Catholics who consider all the rest of us - Catholics and non-Catholic damned. I found myself at theological odds with a pastor friend of mine over the Sovereignty of God and discovered an unlikely ally in a young pagan from my hometown.
A voice from my past. A wise young man who listened to Darth Vader and turned to the dark side.
Blogging has led me into some pretty serious Bible studies. It has given me a lot to pray about. But I still don’t get it. No, that’s not true. I do get it. I just don’t know exactly what to do with it. The personal stuff is killing me. And the global stuff is overwhelming. I’m feeling pretty small and insignificant. Powerless. I’m still at that crossroads but the light is about to change to green and I’m not sure where the road ahead is leading. I really rather just find a rock to sit on and wait for the whole scenario to play itself out. Storms, earthquakes, terrorism, the bird flu…can’t do anything about that now can I?
And then there was Lars.
When we first came to this part of the world, it was to pastor a tiny little multicultural church on a 50 year old mission complex, right on the boarder of the Navajo Reservation.
The director of the ministry was a Navajo gentlemen and that was good, since most “Indian” ministries are still run by “Whitemen”. But there were some things that were not so good. While “Pastor Art” was pasturing the church and I was heading up Children’s and Youth ministries, the church grew from about 12 to over 30 (in 4 months time). But there were some things that were not so good. There was another “white” couple at the mission. She worked in the office. He worked on the grounds. He also worked with a bunch of young boys. One of them was named Lars. Before long, all the “whites” were gone. Why and How doesn’t matter much. I’ll only say none of them, none of us were overjoyed about leaving. That was 8 years ago. A young man named Lars was murdered last week. I’m not sure it was the same Lars. It doesn’t matter. Violence at the gates. Darkness in the streets. I pray harder for my students. I pray harder as I drive the highway through the reservation. I pray harder when I worship on Sunday mornings with my Navajo brothers and sisters. I cry out “Thy will be done!” and I still wonder what that really means. Let there be Light dear Lord. Let Your Light shine through Me.

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Dragons on the Loose!

just thought i'd mentione the "dragon slayer" is back on Dawn is Coming (see my links).
stories by my favorite sci/fi/fantasy/horror author...
now i need to go slay some dragons of my own...