This is too funny...

i have a few teachers in my blogging audience...
this one is for you
and all you mothers too...
my friend DJ sent it to me LOL

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two
kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I
saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a
few sessions with my students. It helps them get over
shyness, and usually show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids
bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they
catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any
boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it to
school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very
outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of
the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds
up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby brother,
and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.

"First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and
then Dad put a seed in Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in
there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm
trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me.
The kids are watching her in amazement.

"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my mom starts saying and
going, 'Oh, oh, oh!'" Erica puts a hand behind her back and
groans. "She walked around the house for like an hour. 'Oh,
oh, oh!'" Now the kid's doing this hysterical duck walk,
holding her back and groaning. "My dad called the middle
wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on
the car like the Domino's man.

"They got my mom to lie down in bed like this." Then Erica
lies down with her back against the wall. "And then, pop! My
mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got
thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed,
like psshhheew!" This kid has her legs spread and with her
little hands are miming water flowing away. It was too much!

"Then the middle wife starts saying, 'push, push' and
'breathe, breathe.' They started counting, but never even
got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother.
He was covered in yucky stuff; they all said was from Mom's
play-center, so there must be a lot of stuff inside there."

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow, and returned
to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since
then, if it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just
in case another Erica comes along.

Received from Tami D.