I Am Not White

Being a child of the 60's (who is rapidly approaching the age 60), I've always considered myself sensitive to racial issues and civil rights. I grew up in a lower middle class neighborhood, was educated in parochial schools, and  never thought about the fact that I was white. The first time I realized that someone was thinking of me as white was on an Indian Reservation somewhere in Montana. A friend and I were sitting at a snack-bar in a chapter house and the other people at the counter were staring at us. I saw the question, "what are you doing here" in their dark eyes and I had this strong urge to say..."But I'm 1/16th Indian." (Isn't everybody?) That was in the 70's. Twenty odd years later I found myself in Farmington, New Mexico - getting ready to "work with the Indians." I was very excited and extremely curious. I knew a lot about the northeastern tribes, but very little about the Navajo. Driving through the reservation, the largest in the USA, fascinated me. My husband and I were called to work on an Indian Mission. A relic of a place, with a tiny church and long history. This was an nonsalaried position, so I would have to find a job teaching. That was 14 years ago. I am about to start another school year, teaching reading on the "REZ". I don't claim to be an expert on "Educating the Indian," but I've learned a lot.
I hate the fact that my students see me as white. I am not white. I am not a color.
They may say I'm a "biligana (sp). That's what Navajo call us non-natives. The word is understood as meaning "white" but in fact, it is the Navajo word for "enemy". I don't much care for that, I am not their enemy. But to be fair, most my students don't know the origin of that word.
Another common term in Anglo. But that insinuates English, and I am Dutch, Italian, Jew, and 1/16th Creek - no English there. Can't I just be, Mrs. Brokop - teacher?
When Art and I first moved here, a well meaning missionary who had been here for over 25 years, told us that we would always been seen as white, and not to trust "them." I am not white. That is all I'm going to say right now. It's just that Art and I have been doing a lot of reading this summer. And not being involved in ministry this summer, we've had a lot of time to talk and think. And I think we have something to say...something important. Art is focusing on Ministry, I am focusing on Education. And this afternoon, I felt that I needed to say this.  I am not white.