December 2010

So much I want to say...some words of anger - some words of resentment - some words of frustration. And I want to brag, about the Christmas Play I wrote for my drama club at school - a Navajo version of A Christmas Carol - and about the Holiday Party I put together for the staff at my school. And I want to show off the pictures I took at Tziporah's 2nd birthday party.

We're not going to church...not any church. We hardly missed any Sundays in the 31 years that we've been married. But since we had Kirtland Hope pulled out from under us in September, we've only been to church a couple of times.

We bought a DVD for my sister and brother-in-law in Florida- Drums of Thunder (One Night for God) with Jonathan Maracle. We previewed it, and Art said he cried through the whole thing...Art is like that...When I saw it, at the first beat of the drum, my eyes teared up as well. I can not explain the love, the burden we feel for these people, the Dine', the First Nations. The forgotten minority. The Holy Spirit is moving and although we are not technically Native ourselves, we feel ourselves being moved along in this direction. We feel it is so important.

It's not about the drum. Although it is funny how offensive some people find the drum. Like 25 years ago when we "fought" to get a guitar in Grace United Methodist Church. Most churches have electric guitars, drum sets, even African congas, but "heaven forbid" there is a pow-wow drum in the sanctuary.

It's about Acts 17, and Deuteronomy 32, and Genesis 11.  It's about 95% of the Native American population of the North American Continent that still see Jesus as the "White Man's God"  It's about finding one's identity in Jesus, and worshiping Him in Spirit and in Truth, with the song and rhythm that the Creator has put in one's heart.

And it's about the Torah, the FULL Gospel, from Genesis to Revelation. It's about dancing and ceremony - worshiping Creator with one's whole body, mind, and soul...with one's whole strength.
Church is not supposed to be a spectator's sport.

Right now I am so down on denominations. The FM mission that was "sold" last year sits abandoned and over grown with weeds, with a ForSale sign in front of it.  Theologically we are "methodist" but the UM was too liberal, and the FM and EV don't want us, or get us,
and we never wanted to go independent, non-denominational, because we knew we needed a covering, authority to which to submit.  I feel guilty for the failed ministries. If we had prayed harder. If we had tried harder. And if God had really been behind them, would they have failed? I rarely drive by the old FM mission, and when I do, I cry tears of regret and beg for forgiveness. When I drive down highway 6480 on the way to work, and pass KH, I just feel resentment. But then I feel guilty for having such negative feelings.

And then there is the condition of the world.  Hey folks, are you watching? Do you see the hand of judgment on this land? on this planet. Is the second Advent, the time before the second coming, is it drawing to an end?  Rapture? I wish. Tribulation? I wouldn't be surprised.
Faith and Trust and Peace where there is no peace. What difference does anything else make?

So, I'll simply publish this, and then post some pictures of my grandkids, because there in is the joy i am feeling this season. Grandkids and remembering that Jesus IS...

If you read this and if you are my friend, than please lift me and mine up in prayer. Art and I are using this time off to pray and consider if we should take a step of faith as far as ministry is concerned, or just sit back and watch and wait. Thanks for your time and your prayers...maryellen brokop   301 E. Hopi   87401   NM