From my friend DJ

Rose.......
The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged
us
to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look
around
when a gentle hand touched my shoulder

I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me
with
a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose.

I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?"

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she
gave me a giant squeeze.

"Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked.

She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married,
and
have a couple of kids..."

"No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to
be taking on this challenge at her age.

"I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting
one!" she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a
chocolate milkshake.

We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would
leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized
listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily
made friends wherever she went.
She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon
her from the other students. She was living it up.
At! the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our footballbanquet.

I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped
up tothe podium As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her
three by five cards on the floor.
Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and
simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and
this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me
just tell you what I know."
(this cracked me up!)
As we laughed she cleared her throat and began,
"We do not stop playing
because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.
There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and
achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have
a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.
We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it!
There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.
If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't
do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am
eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything
I will turn eighty-eight.
Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The
idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.
The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for
things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with
regrets."
She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose."
She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our
daily lives.
At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all
those years ago.
One week after graduation Rose died? peacefully in her sleep.
Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to
the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be
all you can possibly be.
These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.
REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.
We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give.

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to
it, He will bring you through it.

Have a blessed day dear blog friends, by the way, there is a very interesting debate going on on The Reformation blog (see my links cuz I don't know how to put links in my text).

Starry, Starry Night

Just a quick note before I hit the sack.
I had the best day at work today...I love my job!
The room was well prayed up by the time the kiddos arrived. I had to do some special ed. running around - file checking, student finding, I really accomplished something important and it made me feel good.
There was this awesome storm in town while we were solving our problem from yesterday, the God of Glory Thundered.
Dance practice was fun, but exhausting...i love dancing unto the LORD!
When we left church, the sky was bright and filled with stars. We haven't seen many stars lately because it is monsoon season in New Mexico.
I've been getting up very early lately. Praying on my front porch. Here's my prayer for tomorrow morning:
Praise be to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit, who caused the morning stars to sing together, and all Your creatures will shout for Joy! Praise the LORD!

I Didn't Go In

There was/is this problem...
a stupid money problem really...not earth shattering
and I panicked
No way out...what could I do???
How would God get me out of this one? I didn't really deserve to be gotten out of this one...
So I drove to the you know what...at least some of you know
and I sat in the parking lot, and I felt really sick, and I said "God if you show me a rainbow I won't go in" (call me gideon)
and there appeared in the sky just a splotch of color, a rainbow that wasn't really going to form...
and He said, "that's all your getting, now go home."
So I did...
Will my problem be solved? There is a 6:00pm August 16 deadline and then the problem gets a lot worse.
But it's my son's 25th Birthday, and he'll be trying to call so that I can cry with him over the phone. Pastor Art just cooked dinner and it smells good. Chris and the Romans got into a big fight on my blog. And I got a nice long letter from a dear old friend
Now I really am rambling Wes...
Did my email cry for help get lost in cyberspace????
to be continued

Should Preachers Lie?

Those of you who have been reading me for any time, should know by now that I am struggling with the concept of the Sovereignty of God, the concepts of predestination and divine election, and the question of free will. My faith has been on shakey ground for about 3 years now, I sort of had a Job complex going. I believe that I have been actively seeking first the kingdom for over 25 years, and when things went terribly wrong in my family I really freaked out. I was totally unprepared for this type of crisis. Sickness and death wouldn't have been so bad. My family and I experienced shame, rejection, a sense of failure, thoughts of suicide, and it really isn't over yet.
Was this whole thing part of God's divine plan for our lives? A lot of people were hurt when this happened. Trust and Innocence and Faith all fell victim to this sin. For all the prayers, all the sacrifices, this is what we got? I've been looking for answers. In Jesus Christ Super Star (yeah I know the thought of that production makes lots of believers cringe) anyway, in that musical Judus laments to Jesus, "Your really hip on whens and hows but not so cool with whys"
In Job, God never answers that nagging why question. What would He say? "Well you see Job, the satan and I had this bet going" So forget the whys. My question lately has been, what did I do wrong? It seems that all of the answers to all of my prayers has been a solid "NO"
Ok, so I'm exaggerating a little. I've been indulging in some serious self pity, and self protecting impulses. But I've really been wondering why I should pray. And if I have been indeed praying wrong. One teacher says praying in tongues is the answer...another says praying the rosery is the key. And does God have a plan for us, a divine and perfect plan, that he will bring about no matter what...and this was his plan?????
Thats what I mean by the question Should Preachers Lie?
Today, while I was washing the mud from my object lesson away, I heard just a piece of the sermon. "God has a plan for everyone of you. A perfect plan for your lives."
Is that true? Surely, sitting in church doesn't mean that you are destined to be saved. Has a pastor ever stood infront of a congregation and preached. "Some of you were born, predestined to enter into the kingdom of God through faith in Jesus Christ. But some of you, actually most of you don't stand a chance. Come on up to the alter and pray the prayer. For some of you it will mean salvation. For others of you, you will just get up and walk out of this place right back into your sin. That is what you were born for. You can try to live the life if you want. People might be nice to you for a while, and the music will make you feel good. But all in all, only the elect will get in, and according to the percentages...the path is narrow and few will find it, most of you were lost before you were conceived. " How does that make any sense at all?
People are dying. Children are suffering. War is raging. Bad things happen to good people all the time. This is God's plan? Or is it the sinful nature of man out of control?
I like the picture of God in Genesis 6:5 - 6
"then the LORD saw that the wickedness of man was great on the earth and that every intent of the thought of his heart was only eivl continually and the LORD was sorry that He had made man on the earth. He was grieved in His Heart."
I like the fact that Jesus cried over Jerusalem, and wondered would there be any believers on the earth when he returned. Jesus' command was to love and to make disciples, who would love. Not mushy gushy love love love, love is all you need. But get dirty, sell your stuff, help the poor, open your doors, touch the lepers, wipe the eyes of the aides victims...that kind of love.
Well, I've rambled more here than I expected to.
For those of you who have reached this sentence, thanks for listening.
Agree or disagree. Try to set me strait. Warn me, Chastise me...I probably need it.
Blessings on those of you who bother to comment at all. I gotta go.

Thou Shalt Not Covet

I teach Children’s Church once or twice a month. We’re just finishing up our unit on the ten commandments and tomorrow I’ll be teaching number 10: Thou Shalt Not Covet.
Exodus 20:17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s house; neither shall thou desire his wife, nor his servant, nor his handmaid, nor his ox nor his ass, nor any thing that is his. And again, in Deuteronomy 5:21 Neither shalt thou desire thy neighbor’s wife, neither shalt thou covet thy neighbor’s house, his field, or his manservant or his maidservant, his ox, his ass or any thing that is thy neighbor’s.
Thou shalt not covet…Thou shalt be content.
How do the more modern translations put it?
You must not be envious of your neighbor’s house or want to sleep with his wife, or want to own his slaves, oxen, donkeys, or any thing else.
No lusting after your neighbor’s house, or wife or servant or maid or ox or donkey. Don’t set your heart on any thing that is your neighbors.
The message is pretty clear. Yet, as I think about, and confess that I’ve broken that one on several occasions, I wonder if it’s actually the tenth commandment, or kind of a Post Script. Coveting is a sin that can remain hidden for a long time. It is a sin of the heart. But it can lead to the breaking of most of the other commandments. David coveted his neighbor’s wife, and it lead to adultery, lies, even murder.
As I present it to the kids, I’ll explain how coveting can lead to stealing and dishonoring your mother and father (whining, yelling, throwing an “I want it!” tantrum).
What about how coveting leads to breaking those first 4 commandments? It occurs to me that the thing you covet could become an idol, draining your attention, changing your focus. And what about working Sundays so that you can get the stuff you think you need? And should the person or thing that you covet come into church, then your worship would be perverted. And maybe those faith preachers, who talk about planting seeds into their ministry so that you can reap abundantly, who get rich off the offerings of widows and feed off the coveting of people who think that they can manipulate the blessings of God by how much they give. Isn’t that in a way, using the name of the LORD, in vain.
So instead of saying, “and the tenth commandment is “Thou Shalt Not Covet” , one could say…
In conclusion, Do not Covet.
I think it is pretty easy to at least look like you are keeping commandments 5, 6, 7, 8, and 9.
Don’t bad mouth your parents, don’t murder, don’t commit adultery, don’t lie, don’t steal. Of course in Matthew 5 Jesus clarified things and showed that it is much harder to obey the law than even the Pharisees thought. If you are even angry, it’s murder in God’s eyes. If you even entertain the idea of an affaire, you’ve committed adultery. And what about coveting? Matthew 6 teachings, about treasures in heaven, and anxiety over things, and the God and Mammon discourse.
Like I said, Coveting is a sin that can be remain hidden for a long time. It is a sin of the heart. But God knows our hearts. Next week the Children’s Church lesson is on the two greatest commandments.
Matthew 22:37-39. A lot of people, who don’t want to deal with the law at all, and who use terms like ‘under grace’ or ‘under the blood’, like to stick with the concept that God is Love and the only commandments that Jesus gave us were to Love God and Love Your Neighbor. Love, Love, Love.
But what is Love? Can you hear the early Christians asking Paul that question?
Too bad that most Christians relegate I Corinthians 13 to weddings, sort of like how Psalm 23 has been relegated to Funerals. Anyway, this is what Paul had to say on the subject.
Tongues, prophecies, knowledge, even faith is nothing without love. Taking care of the needy, or dying a martyr’s death without love, nothing. And love does not covet. It is not jealous, not self seeking, It is kind, it is forgiving, Thou shalt not covet. Be content! The word content just led me to Hebrews 13, I think I’ll feed on that one for a while. So far, it’s been a beautiful day. Blessed be the name of the LORD!

Psalm 139

God understands my thoughts from afar, He is intimately acquainted with me, and that is good.
Search me, and Lead me Oh Lord...

I saw angels in church last night. I don't have visions very often, and when I do I try to dismiss them, since I will admit to a very active and somewhat out of control imagination. But I saw angels in church last night. I tried to change what I saw, color it, add to it, but the vision stayed constant, so maybe it wasn't just my imagination. I have seen angels before.
Here is what I saw last night.
There were three (not counting the two that were assigned to me three years ago. I already blogged about them). One of them three was standing behind the drummer, big and strong, with its arms folded, kind of like a body guard. One of them was kneeling beside the worship leader.
That angel had one hand on the Worship Leaders feet and the other hand was raised to heaven.
I thought maybe the angel was holding him down, then the verse about "how lovely on the mountain are the feet of them who bring good news"came to mind. The third angel was dancing in front, near the pulpit.

There are two poems and two stories on Dawn is Coming, and another story will be posted by tomorrow.

I start back to work tomorrow. Still no definite word about whether we will have to move.
I am really fighting the spirit of discouragement and fear.

Sometimes, visiting my friends in the blog world and commenting and commenting on comments helps...sometimes it doesn't. But still, I blog on!.

Sunday Afternoon

yesterday there was a great rain storm in Shiprock
the God of Glory thundered, and in the midst of the late afternoon down pour, there was a glorious rainbow...
worship and fellowship was good this moring - i saw angels dancing
i think i'll be reading Deuteronomy and Philippians this week...
this evening i'll have a chance to worship again, and then i'm teaching children's church, just a review of the 10 commandments...
worksheets and donuts
there aren't that many kids at the evening service
back to work for me tuesday, praise the LORD...
Pastor Eric said "the greatest weapon the enemy will use agains us is our own thought life"
some guy on one of the Christian television stations this week said that Prince Charles was the Anit-christ and this morning a newscaster talking about Hillary Clinton's possible run for president in 2008 used the word goddess...
i've been blogging for about 2 hours...time to quit
blessings

It's Terribly Noisy

birds singing, cat crying, cock crowing, husband snoring,
catholics saying you can't really love Christ if you don't love "The Church"
reformers saying that all of this crap i'm going through was predestined by a loving god before time began, comments on slice saying if i don't condemn what they condemn i'm a new age liberal heretic, and the song "blessed be the name of the LORD, blessed be His Holy Name - He gives and takes away, He gives and takes away, and still my heart will choose to say, Blessed be His Holy Name!
on Dawn is Coming, prose gives way to poetry...
dawn is coming - and i see lightning in the east - but I can't hear the thunder
it's too noisy - i can't hear the word of the LORD...
i think i'll be typing all day, but i don't think i'll be blogging

You can laugh, but read the next one too...

from bobbie
I bold typed my favorites...
Have you ever been driving down the road at 50 or 60 mph, passed a church and tried to read the sign out front. I sometimes slow down to read them and on occasion have turned around and gone back to catch the last part because I was going too fast to read it all. Here are a few you can read while driving your computer and you won't run off the road trying to see them: "The best vitamin for a Christian is B1." "Under same management for 2000 years." "Soul food served here." "Tithe if you love Jesus! Anyone can honk." "Beat the Easter rush, come to church this Sunday." "Don't wait for the hearse to take you to church." "Don't give up, Moses was once a basket case." "Life has many choices. Eternity has two. What's yours." "Worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due." "Wal Mart isn't the only saving place." "Preach the Gospel at all times. Use words if necessary." "Prevent truth decay. Brush up on your Bible." "It's hard to stumble when you're down on your knees." "What part of 'thou shalt not' don't you understand?" "A clear conscience makes a soft pillow." "The wages of sin is death. Repent before payday." "Never give the Devil a ride. He will always want to drive." "Can't sleep? Try counting your blessings." "Forbidden fruit creates jams." "Christians, keep the faith -but not from others." "Satan subtracts and divides. God adds and multiplies." "To belittle is to be little." "If you don't want to reap the fruits of sin, stay out of the Devil's orchard." "Don't let the littleness in others bring out the littleness in you." "God answers knee-mail."

What do You Think?

Ultimately, we need to make sure that Jesus (not the Bible, or any particular interpretation of the Bible) is the rock upon which Church, faith and our lives are built."Jesus is the Word of God, the bible is merely our record of Him, though an extremely important one.

The problem is that each denomination has a different idea of exactly what the Bible says, and each denomination claims to be right, each claims (or at least implies) that to be the best Christian you can be you need to follow their understanding of the Bible. When we do this we run the risk of encouraging others to conform to our religion, rather than becoming disciples of Christ.

I got these two statements off Mo's blog. I think they both speak volumes of truth, but I'd like to know what all "you guys" think. See, I've always said that the main question is "Who then do you say Jesus is?" That is why, I guess, I can say that I have found Christians in every sort of denominational setting, from AOG to Roman Catholic. Once, early in my walk with the LORD, some door to door evangelists came up to me. They were not the typical Mormon, or JW (who do not believe in the Jesus recorded in the Bible), these were Baptists. I told them I was born again, and they were happy to hear it, but when I told them I was going to a United Methodist Church, they stepped back and informed me that then I wasn't really saved.
There was an Elim Bible college near the city I lived in, and they would actually send "missionaries" to the Liberal Churches in town to "help" with Children's Church. Our church accepted their "help" one year. I had a chance to talk with one of the students who had been assigned to our church. He told me that he was confused, because he was told that these kids had never heard the "True Gospel", yet the kids he was working with in our church were the "most Christian, Bible believeing kids" he had ever encountered.
I am having a real problem with people who confess the LORD Jesus as their savior and who blast other people who also confess the LORD Jesus as their savior, because they don't use the right words or the right methods, or because, as the quote above says, they don't follow the right understanding of the Bible.
Can people disagree with each other and still be brothers and sisters in the LORD?
Are there negotiables? Tongues, Worship Styles, How and When to Baptise, How and When to observe the Lord's Supper? Pretrib, Midtrib, or Postrib rapture,
What about Evolution, Creation, Old World, Young World????
Who decides what the negotiables are?
Who then do you say Jesus is?
And just what are His commandments, which He instructs us to teach in Matt. 18:20 ?
And, what is the Good News we are instructed to share?

Good Morning

Psalm 143:8
Let me hear Thy Lovingkindness in the moring, for I trust in Thee
Teach me the way which I should walk, For to thee I lift up my soul
Lamentations 3:22,23
The Lord's lovingkindessess indeed never cease, For His compasions never fail
They are new every morning - Great is Thy Faithfulness
I've noticed some new commenters on this site, welcome to all...
It is humbling and a bit unnerving to know so many people read these rambling thoughts, opinons and lamentations.
A new friend asked about Pastor Art because yesterday, we were sharing the computer and some of my comments were posted from his site.
Just a word of introduction and explaination to my new blog - mates
Pastor Art is my husband, a licesensed minister of Open Bible Standard Churches and our ministry is called Gateway of the Rock. You can get to our Ministry Blog site through my links,
or at this address: http://christstone.blogspot.com/
You can also link to Pastor Art's site - Temple Corners http://passingthoughts2.blogspot.com/
My site, the site you are currently visitng is more of a personal journal, though I do get into some theological discussions, and spend a lot of time in the WORD.
I am a teacher by profession, and school starts in a week - Yeah!
My religous back ground is Catholic. I'm proud to say I attended an all girl Catholic Highschool and graduated with an award for excellence in theology. But that was a long time ago.
I was born again in 1979 and took several Bible courses while I was earning my Bacholors degree in education at a Free Methodist College. I also took Bible Courses at a large Assembly of God Church in Rochester New York.
Currently, my husband, Pastor Art and I are attending an Assembly of God Church in Shiprock New Mexico - on the Navajo Indian Reservation. I am on the dance team, and work with the Children's ministries and my Husband is on the worship team, but we are taking a break from pastoring, and neither of us are in leadership at this church.
I am dealing with some heavy family, personal issues and as always, I am very greatful to those of my blogmates who are praying for me.
Isn't the blog world amazing? Oh the people you meet, just sitting at a keyboard and screen...
blog on

words words words

I only have 30 minutes to write this. I promised Pastor Art he could get back on the computer at 12:35, after I posted my entry for the day. I’ve been lying in bed composing it. Staying in bed until noon is a sure fire symptom of clinical depression, especially for me, the early riser. I think I remember cursing the rooster at about 5:30.
Anyway, my topic for the day is WORDS.
Way back when Pastor Art (temple corners) and I were newborn Christians and our main source of spiritual nourishment was Christian Radio (Chuck Smith, Chuck Swindoll, James MacAurthur, Don Fransico and Keith Green), we were often confused by conflicting teaching and apparent contradictions. I was a Roman Catholic turned Witch then Born Again. He was a Junky turned Pagan then Born Again, so our minds were pretty messed up. But God in His Mercy and Wisdom led us to good teachers and godly mentors, through of all places, a United Methodist Church. We’ve shared about that on this site as well as on “Gateway of the Rock”.
One of the problems we ran into, being United Methodist, was that although our pastor was Born Again, and our mentors were Spirit Filled, the denomination its self was very liberal, and some of the people we rubbed shoulders with during denominational functions were very New Age. Coming out of the Occult, both of us were very aware of this problem, of the lies that were creeping in. One such lie was concerning the feminine side of God, the idea that God was both Father and Mother. And one of the arguments was that the Greek word for father which was used in the Bible could mean either parent.
The United Methodist Denomination, especially in the east, was striving to totally rewrite
Christianity in a gender neutral manner, beginning with their hymnal - liturgy. It was at that point Pastor Art decided he needed to learn the original languages, Greek and Hebrew. He needed to know what it really said, what it really meant. While he was earning his bachelors degree in Religion and Philosophy he took every Greek and Hebrew class he could. He found Hebrew easier than most because he is dyslexic and reading from right to left seemed natural to him. For his advanced Greek class he translated the book of Romans, chapters 1 to 11, and he got the only A in the class. Our library is filled with dictionaries and lexicons. I sometimes resort to good old Strongs Concordance, but he says that’s just kids stuff.
WORDS. LOGOS. What do they all mean? They are powerful. They can cause great pain. They can be manipulated, twisted, misused. Remember what James says. Yet, we are told that In The Beginning was the WORD.
I’ve been reading, and participating in some rather intense debates here in blog land.
The words here have been filled with great emotion and great conviction. Some have been cynical (I tend to be cynical at times). Some have been down right cruel.
Many have been using the Holy Words of God to “prove” their points and demonstrate their knowledge and credibility. So I started thinking about the Bible as we have it in our hands. Originally written in very ancient and precise languages. Every pastor knows how many Greek words there are for love. Which word was Jesus using when he asked Peter
“do you love me?” I’ve heard several sermons on that one.
But the question I’ve been asking is who were the people who translated the Bible from Greek and Hebrew into Latin, and into German, and into English??? Did they have a hidden agenda, a bias? I think I’m going to miss my 12:34 dead line, but I am almost done with this. I believe that the doctrine of Divine Election has been distorted because the men who translated the scriptures into the common language and who wrote many of the commentaries used today were anti Semitic. The elect, the chosen were and still are the Jews. And take a look at 1 Samuel 2:25
“ If one man sins against another, God will mediate for him, but if a man sins against the LORD who can intercede for him. But they would not listen to the voice of their father for the Lord desired to put them to death.” Wow, what a case for predestination. The sons did not have a choice. But when I asked good old Pastor Art to look that up, we discovered that the word translated as FOR could also mean therefore, or so. Which would change the whole meaning of that sentence from a case of predestination to a case of cause and effect, free will, free choice resulting in severe punishment.
Lately, I read on a friend’s blog, that it was Luther who decided to remove what we call the Apocrypha from the Bible. Pastor Art and I are looking into that one. So far it seems that at the time of the Apostles, most Jews accepted those books as part of the Holy Scriptures and that they would fall under the 2Tim.2:16 “all Scripture“.
Ok, so I’m ten minutes past my dead line, and I guess writing this has been therapeutic, better than whining and panicking. I really don’t know where I’m going with all this.
On the way home from worship practice a familiar song was playing. One that has been ringing in my ears and speaking to my heart for quite a while.
“Every blessing you pour out, I’ll turn back in praise.
When the darkness closes in, still I will say…Blessed be the name of the Lord
You give and take away, You give and take away, my heart will choose to say
Blessed be your Holy Name!.”
I was going to ask the worship team to pray for us, for me, my husband, and my prodigal son. My prodigal son who is on his way home…so tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree, its been three long years. But who won’t be able to come home if our landlord forces us to move, which is what I believe is going to happen, no matter how hard any of us prays…and I didn’t ask the team to pray. I’d just start crying. Big baby that I am.
So let me focus on heady stuff. Let me debate with theologians and write words about the WORD.
Oh no, I just heard Pastor Art sigh. The computer clock says 12:55. I think I’ll go clean out the closet. Even if we don’t have to move it will be good to get rid of some junk.
Well friends, I guess I’ll stop rambling. Blessings and Blog On!

In the Pink

Not.
The sun is barely rising.
The rooster next door is crowing.
The LandLord called last night.
Woke up with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach
and the song
"Glory to God in the Highest" in my head.
Can't even seem to find my blog site this morning.
All I'm seeing is pink,
all I'm feeling is black.
Oh poor me,
I'm sick of my whining.

Teach Me to Number My Days...

During last night's worship service, I was very close to just giving up
Two songs have been going thru my head over the past week...
or at least parts of the songs
Every blessing you pour out, I'll turn back in praise...if...You give and take away, You give and take away, and still my heart will say, blessed be Your holy name!
and
from a stupid minivan commercial, a voice from the past,
dust in the wind...don't hang on...all we are is dust in the wind
is that from the book of JOB too?
I read the book of Job today, and then I went on line and read some commentaries on it.
The Talmud says that Moses wrote it.
One scholar said "unless the Book of Job first unsettles us deeply it cannot open its riches to us."
I'm not sure it is a good book for someone who is already unsettled to read.
Funny after chapter two, where Job declares that he will bless the name of the LORD, he spends a great time wishing he were dead. I can relate.
Sunday Morning's sermon was on Psalm 91. During the Christmas season, a friend prayed that Psalm over us and our home and family. I revisit it often.
The pastor was preaching about having a peaceful retreat where we could hide in the shadow of His wings, when we were feeling "Troubled in Spirit, Confused, and Frustrated"
That's me in a nut shell, or so I wrote in my prayer journal.
He encouraged us, our troubles would not distroy us, they will not effect God's love for us...
but then he said
"Job repented after questioning God's sovereignty" and I cringed.
God's Sovereignty.
That God knew, That God planned, That God allowed...
all this tells me is that God is rattling my chains...and nothing I do really matters.
nothing anyone does matters...
back to the question I asked on this blog site months ago.
why pray?
How do I ignor the first two chapters of Job. How do I accept them?
Job was righteous. That's what it says.
God was mean. That's how it seems.
"Let's play a game at Job's expense."
I am not righteous, or blameless. Hear me sigh.
At the end of the evening service I felt a little better.
God reminded me of something He had spoken into my heart in January.
I was at the alter, crying for my sons, and my grand children, and the bleak future...
God "said" not to worry about my family situation, that my sons and my grandchildren were in His hands. He was working it all out. My focus was to be on the students He had entrusted to my care. I was to pray for their salvation. It was a good reminder since I go back to work next week.
He also "said" that as He was working things out, things might get shaken up a bit, and not to panic when things started to shake.
That helped. The pastor's message that God loves Sinners helped. Maybe my prodical son will be welcome in this particular fellowship of believers inspite of his very public, much dispised sin.
It is Monday, and I spent the first 2 hours of my day reading JOB.
Tomorrow is Worship/Dance team practice. That is good.
Wednesday I might go to the Bible Study. They are doing the book of John, and I like the book of John. But the teacher and I don't always see eye to eye. And that ol' Sovereignty of God issue is bound to come up, which has really been getting to me lately.
Thursday a Women's group just started. I went last week, and was actually deemed "the quiet one". I am never the quiet one. But two of the women were sharing about how they were molested as children. That is a very sensitive topic for me.
Friday the church is going camping in the mountains. I really REALLY want to go, but I'm not sure about gas money. I have a big collection of DVD's I'm planning to take into town to sell.
But will it be enough to pay the phone bill, buy a Bible for my new daughter-in-law's birthday, and buy enough gas for the camping trip (not to mention bug spray and a dish to pass)?
No matter. Life goes on.

fyi

haven't been disconnected yet.
encouraged by your comments and prayers
clinging to psalm 69
just posted "the enforcers" on Dawn is coming for my son.
he received psalm 69 last night too.
God is good. Life aint so good.

Who was J.C. Ryle anyway?

This morning I read an ancient sermon suggested on the Slice site.
I was thinking, maybe it would be a good Bible teaching.
After reading it I wrote the following comment. It got a little long. But I think it said a lot, so I left is on the Slice site and decided to post it here too.
I got a few good quotes from this sermon.
"peace procured at the expense of truth is not worth having"
"some are discouraged by the length of our journey"
but he uses only one piece of one verse...hold fast to what is good. I Thes. 5:21b
actually I think a lot of us need to really pay attention to the first part of the verse, especially when we are about the business of exposing or defending various ministries and teachers
"But examine everthing carefully, hold fast to that which is good"
A lot of blog comments are based on emotional reactions to heresay.
Secular news reports are taken at face value when they seem to prove our particular stand on something, but everyone knows the press is bias. I read this sermon actually hoping to find some words of wisdom and good Bible teaching. I believe that sermons should be sound Bible teachings. I think it is a pastor's responsibility to preach the word of God in such a way that it gives the congregation something to chew on, something to meditate on, something to walk with through out the week. This sermon was merely anti-catholic rhetoric. Early in my walk with the LORD, before my husband and I had found a church home, we visited a friends church.
I think it was non-denomiational. It was a long time ago. But I can remember something the young pastor said from the pulpit. I don't remember the exact names he used, but he said something like this..."You can drive though any town and see dozens of churches. And you can tell by their names, "St. Thomas, Our Lady of Mercy, Grace United Methodist, Peter and Paul Episcaple, etc. that their leaders are liberal unsaved heretics." I was shocked. Not that there might be ministers who were liberal unsaved heretics, but that any man of God would so generally judge and publically condemn. In the 25+ years that I have been walking with the LORD, I have met Catholics, Methodists, Episcapalians, Charasmatic, Menonites, Salvation Army Officers, Baptists, oh, there are too many to name. But I have met, fellowshiped, prayed and worshiped with them and know, regardless of the name on their church, it's form of government, or style of worship, these individuals were/are saved. The body of Christ is made up of many parts. God is a God of variety. Blessed be the name of the LORD!

The way it was...

Psalm 143
The drive from Shiprock to Albuquerque is a little more than three hours depending on how fast you dare to go. The speed limit is 70mph. I was due in court at 1:00pm and we left at 9:00am. I was wearing my most non hippy style outfit and my nerves were frayed.
But the scenery is awesome and the music was good. And when we walked into the court house I was pretty calm and just a minute or two late. The lawyer subtly told us that it wouldn’t be good for Art to go into the court room, because of his wild and wooly appearance. I was going to have to wait about 45 minutes to testify, and he wanted us to stay over night because he wanted me in the courtroom when Ardy testified the next day.
As I sat in the waiting room, I took out my Bible. The book mark was at Psalm 143.
A few weeks back our Pastor used a verse from that psalm to emphasis the importance of seeking God’s will for our lives.
“teach me the way in which I should walk; For to thee I lift up my soul."
As soon as I started reading, I knew this was the section of Scripture that was meant for me at that place and time. The Living Words that would carry me though these stressful times.
Hear my prayer O Lord!
Of course He could hear my prayer, and with those words came the confidence that not only could He hear, but that He was listening intently.
Do not enter into judgment with Thy servant, for in thy sight no man living is righteous.
I am glad that when the Word tells us to visit the prisoner, it does not specify that only the innocent, wrongly accused deserve Christian consideration. There is a verse somewhere that says “Let mercy triumph over justice” The people who used to “March for Jesus” sang a song with those words. That was on the same album as “Shine Jesus Shine”
Who of my readers remembers that?
Anyway, this whole concept of mercy and judgment and redemption has weighed heavily on my mother’s heart over the past three years.
My son is guilty. My son sinned. And he was a Christian when he did it. This whole court thing is not to prove or disprove his guilt. It is to decide how much damage was done to the victim and how much money the family should be awarded for those damages.
For the enemy has persecuted my soul. He has crushed my life to the ground. He has made me dwell in dark places.
These lines apply to my son, and to me as well. To our whole family. Guilt, condemnation, rejection, hopelessness have been the fiery darts flung at us by the accuser.
I remember the days of old…
These words remind my of going back to my first love (Rev. 2:4,5). They remind me of the angel experience I wrote about a few weeks back. This whole ordeal was just beginning and the Lord told me to hang on to that experience when I started to doubt that God was really there.
And I knew that God was really there, as I walked into the court room, the mother of a convicted felon. The questioning wasn’t so bad. The lawyer who was really nasty to me during my deposition was “nicer” in the court room. Ardy’s lawyer had told me it wouldn’t be as bad, because there was a judge in the room.
The next morning Art and I read Psalm 143 again, together. And he went off to a cool corner in the court house to read and pray (what a way to celebrate your 50th birthday) and I went into the court room to watch and listen and pray and wait. To be there for my boy. 10 hours later we were on our way home. We had a nice dinner at Art’s favorite buffet, which happens to be in a casino. But I didn’t even spend a nickel. By the time we got home, the truck was whining like an old horse, and our stress levels were off the scale. We almost got into a fight, for no good reason.
My spirit was overwhelmed within me.
We came home to over due bills, and a negative balance in our checking account.
Jeremiah’s new wife’s family has decided that this quick marriage is not a good thing and have told her she is not welcome in the house. They also kicked out her brother who introduced them. So he’s staying with us for a week…more stress
New Mexico is having a heat wave, 106 in Shiprock today.
I am longing for a big, cleansing, thundering storm. Open the floodgates of heaven, let it rain. I wouldn’t be saying that if I lived on the Gulf coast. Bless those caught in the hurricane Lord, and as far as I am concerned…
Thou art my God, Let thy Holy Spirit lead me on level ground. For the sake of Thy name, O Yahweh, revive me. In Thy righteousness bring my soul out of trouble.
Amen, even so, Yes Lord Jesus.

Every Mother's Son

There are some things a mother just should never have to do...
In about 17 hours I will be sitting in a court room, waiting to testify in the civil trial against my son. The victim's family wants to convince the jury that my son is a monster and my husband and I are religious kooks. This hurts really bad. I hope someday I will be able to minister to mothers who feel what I've been feeling for the past three years. I drive by convicts doing road work and shout, "I'm praying for your mothers"
I want to say, no matter what the world thinks, Jesus valued your sons so much that He died for them...I want to tell them it is ok to still love their sons.
And right now, I would ask my friends to pray for me.

Venancio

Some guy just recently left a message on one of my old postings.
The name was Venancio, and his message was basically, hey guys, there is no god...so get over it.
He's from Belgum, how in the world did he find me????
oh the wonders of blogging!
Chris says that many of my readers are Liberal, and EC sympathizers. At least one of them is a self proclaimed pagan. Love ya, Wanderer! (Love you too Chris)
But even though Venancio commented on a post that is over a month old (More on Psalm 143)
I have to address the idea that there is no God.
Anyone who has read any thing that I have written knows that I am a Christian who believes that the Bible is the Living Word of God.
There is no God? What a terrible world this would be if that were true, it would be a non world, a void world...
and as far as myself...
I have no idea who I would be without God.
Actually, in my deepest darkest moments, I have thought maybe this really is all there is...
just wishful thinking and coincidences and the occassional "nice" person.
And to be honest, If I had ever really been able to convince myself that there really is no God,
I would not be...I would have chosen not to be...
I love Jesus. I love the life He has given me. I love being a Christian, even when some people like my friend the heretic, says nasty things about so called Christians. I love to worship the LORD with my friends and family. I love singing "Jesus Loves Me" as I rock my babies and grand babies to sleep. I love looking at the night sky, or a new born's little foot and knowing where they come from, and I give glory to the One from whom they came.
I love reading the Bible and realizing just how awesome a work it is...a master piece, put together by the Master so that His children can understand the Love, and the responsibility that comes with that Love and through it.
I have not had an easy life. But the last 25 years, the years that I have spent seeking first the Kingdom, and walking The Walk, has been a great adventure. And the adventure continues.
I am not a perfect person, infact there are times when I am not even a very good person. But I Love my Lord, and He loves me.
A long time ago, I was working in an office and one of my coworkers was a Christian. She was a sweet young thing, who would come in early and sit in the breakroom with a cup of tea and her Bible. I liked her, and I felt sorry for her. I thought, someday she will wake up and smell the coffee. Someday she will realize that there is no room in today's enlightened world for primitive religions like Christianity. I didn't know she was praying for me. I didn't know that through her friendship and innocence and prayer, God was beginning to soften my heart. She never preached to me, or invited to her church, but she played a big part in my salvation, and redemption. Thank You Carrie the Christian where ever you are...and thank you readers whoever you are, for hearing this old grandma's voice speaking from the New Mexican Desert.
God is Good!

What's the problem?

As a former Roman Catholic, I began my personal relationship with Jesus with several preconceived notions. I'll admit that my religious education in my all girl Catholic High School was liberal, but I graduated with my virginity in tack and an award for Excellence in Theology, and proud of it.
The first time I ever heard anyone say "Once saved, always saved!" it floored me. Could this be true? The woman, a co-worker, was explaining to me why it was ok for her to be having an affaire with a married man. She was using terms like, under the blood and predestined...it was God's predestined plan for this wonderful man to come into her life at such a hard time. It didn't matter to her at all that adultry was a sin, after all the wife wasn't even saved. And as a born again Christian she wasn't under the "law".
Could it be that someone could turn their life over to Jesus, and go out and committ a blatent sin, with out remorse and still go to heaven?
That was 20 years ago. I have a better understanding of certain Christian mantras now.
Once saved always saved...
It's under the blood...
Salvation through faith not works...
my favorite is "Faith with our works is dead" but I don't hear that one very often.
Over the past few weeks, as the summer in the Four Corners gets hotter and hotter...
I've encountered several wounded individuals, who seem very lost in the dark perversness of this age. Each one of them has been able to spout out the salvation message, the Roman road if you will. Each one of them has been to the alter. And although they know enough scripture to prove that they've been to church, it seems they never got the "go and sin no more" message.
They'd been promised that God would change their lives, they'd be healed of their addictions and their poverty, if only they came forward and said yes to Jesus. But without proper discipleship, when the matters of the world, the temptations, attacked them, they fell away...and their response now is "I tried the Jesus way, but it doesn't work for me" or worse...
"I guess I just wasn't predestined for salvation."
What does it do to someone who is struggling with matters of faith, when they hear that God has a certin elect few that are predestined for salvation, and the rest...actually the majority if you miss interpret the message about few finding the narrow path...are born to spend eternity in a devil's hell?
The devistating concept of Manifest Destiny, which led to the slaughter of the native americans just 150 years ago was birthed in the doctrine of Predestination. The idea of Divine Election fed the mistreatment of "inferior" races of humanity, who were born savages and heathens. Surely, these creatures were not part of God's elect.
How does one preach the gospel, the good news of Jesus Christ to a people group, who will also be told that all their ancestors, all those loved ones who have gone before them will be burning in hell because they never had a chance to say yes to Jesus.
God is Good...God is Love...God is all powerful...there is Evil in the world.
Those facts can only be reconcilled if we
#1. stop trying to limit God to our human understanding of all knowingness and sovereignty.
#2. acknowledge that all human beings are born with a divine plan, and God wants all of them to be saved, but has given them the right and responsibility to choose.
#3. there would be much less evil in the world, and much better ways to address the problems of evil, if the people who named the name of Jesus would live the life he put before us...
Faith without works is dead...can dead faith heal?
I've recently confessed on this blog a "hidden" sin. I am not the only "good" Christian who has something in their lives that is hidden, dangerous - distructive. None of us is actually good, right? In publishing it on my site, I made myself vulnerable to people who know me personally, as well as bloggers, some of whom already think I am a liberal, unsaved heretic. I am greatful to those who have prayed for me. To some of the readers of this blog, the theology I express here is all off...but I feel good about my convictions...and the fog I've been in for some time is beginning to lift. Time to go on with my day.
By the way, for those of you who do pray for me...next Tuesday I have to go to court to testify in a civil suit for my son. I am not happy about that. Ugg!

A Fair Question (i guess)

I started blogging because a friend of mine kept talking about his own blogging experience. I checked out his site, and a site he highly recommended, and went from there. I soon discovered some distrubing things. Some people out there, including my friend in fact, were calling some of the things I held as true, heretical. And there were a lot of supposedly sincere Christians who seemed to take great pleasure blasting other supposedly sincere Christians. Yesterday, a commentor on another site, made a comment on one of my comments, asking just what wouldn't I allow in Church. He's actually put the question to me a few times, on the same site. And I woke up this morning thinking about it.
I am not a pastor. I am a pastor's wife. But we are currently not pastoring a church. I am my husband's partner in ministry. I have held various positions of leadership in several churches. As well as my extensive experience in Children's Ministry, I have taught/led seminars, women's retreats etc. I've been a teacher for 20 years, Christian Schools and Public Schools and Reservation Schools. I'm not claiming to be an expert, but I am talking from experience. Although some people out there would doubt my salvation, I have been a Christian for 26 years.
So, what wouldn't I allow in Church? In what areas wouldn't I compromise?
Since my "ministry" is woven tightly with my husbands, I will explain what WE wouldn't allow, what we didn't allow, and in come cases, the consequenses of our unwillingness to compromise.
I ended up having take over the reigns of a large inner city Vacation Bible School, when our senior pastor removed from the position a woman who had led her daughters and some of her little friends in a seance at a sleep over. It wasn't a church event, but we couldn't allow a weekend spiritist to coordinate a church event. In the same Church, a very well loved youth leader was removed from her position when she decided to move in with her boyfriend. The woman was a very good friend of mine. She knew that I was on the committee that decided this matter, and she agreed with the decision. In the same church we made quite a few youth angry, because we wouldn't allow them to listen to secular rock music at a lock in.
As far as music goes, it has always been the lyrics, not the style that was the determining factor.
A few months in to my husbands first postition as an assistant pastor, 3 things happened nearly back to back, that led to his resignation from the church and our leaving the denomination. First, he wouldn't allow a professing Jehovah's Witness whose husband and children attended our church, teach a Sunday School Class. Second, at a Women's Ministry Meeting, I protested using any of our treasury money to support "Reproductive Rights" which meant promoting "free and safe abortions to third world countries". And the final straw, my husband made it perfectly clear to the ordination committee that he firmly believed that homosexuality and abortion were sins.
We have taken a stand against making "God language" gender neutral.
I interupted a class on stress management because the instructor was leading us in meditative yoga exercises to the back ground music of chanting, and she had no idea what was being chanted on her tapes.
We were "relieved" from duty in a church because we were opposed to taking the youth to a Sunday evening church service where the kids were into holy laughing, holy barking, and even holy puking. We had gone once, and our kids were really confused and upset by it. In the name of unity, and because our senior pastor had dilussions of becoming a mega "Spirit Filled" church, he insisted they give it another try. We wouldn't.
What wouldn't we allow in church?
Leaders and Teachers who do not believe in the Triune Godhead, Father Son Holy Spirit, who do not believe that Jesus was born of a virgin, crucified for our sins, resurrected and coming again. Who do not hold to the Bible as the living and true word of God.
There would be no communing with the dead, no spiritism, no actions or substances to alter the state of consciousness.
Medidtation would be an exercise in focusing on God and His truth, not in emptying ones mind.
There would be no sexual impurity among the leaders, and no hint of it.
Modest dress...not too short, too tight, too low cut, too saggy.
Men would not counsel women alone, nor would women counsel men alone.
There would be solemn assemblies and joyful celebrations.
People would be encouraged to invest their gifts and talents in Kindgom building. Singers would sing, drummers would drum, dancers would dance with
banners, tamborines, glory hoops
Artists would create visual metaphors to help illustrate spiritual truths.
There would be a time and place for drama.
Rocks, water, candles, incense, sheep, bread, a fish net, the fruit of the vine, coins, nails and a crown of thornes. All props that we have used, that we would continue to use.
And you would be welcome...
regardless of how you dressed, how you smelled, how you sin
and you would be free
to speak in tongues, to fall on your face before the mighty creator of the univerese, to cry or laugh, to sit or stand...
mercy would triumph over justice, Jesus would set you free, the Holy Spirit would convict and restore...The word of God would be preached with wisdom and understanding, God would be worshiped in spirit and truth...
amem

Who are You People and What are You Thinking?

I just noticed my blog counter...500+
That's scarey. People are reading me. I wanted to have a voice that was heard...but that seems like a lot to me.
I spent the past two hours visiting, commenting, praying over, and reflecting upon my links, and some of the links of my links. Sounds to me like a lot of us are getting a call to action...waiting for orders...anticipating change!
I have to check my email, write two letters and head to the post office.
Later today I will post my son's second story to his Dawn is Coming site...he can't do it because he doesn't have computer access where he is.
So, I'll hit PUBLISH POST and move on.

Fine, thankyou!

Halfway…
2005 is just a little more that half way through, so is my summer vacation.
Art brought me a new prayer journal. Jeremiah will be getting married in a week. I’m reading the book of John. Magnificent Truth.
I’ve made it to chapter 5. The Word, the Light, the Living Water. And the reoccurring theme that individuals brought other individuals to see Jesus.
Andrew brought Peter. Philip brought Nathaniel, the Samaritan woman brought her whole town. Who have I brought lately? Or am I just waiting for the Holy Spirit to bring them? As usual, when reading through this book, I got a little hung up on the whole, Spirit and Truth thing. Just what is worship? It seems to be quite an area of dissention here in blog land. Art brought home a book about God-centered worship, “A Better Way” by Michael Horton. So I read a little of that yesterday. One quote:
“…the so called ‘worship wars’ with both sides amassing their proof-texts that supposedly settle the debate once and for all, resulting in a tragic division of Christ’s body into traditionalist and progressive camps, each with its own Sunday morning service.” He sees Sunday morning worship services as covenant renewals, and the main elements, according to him, should be the word and the sacraments (the water and the bread). Actually the book is a bit much for my old brain. Back to John’s gospel.
Chapter 5. Verses 19-47. This is the first long teaching, to the Jewish leaders in the temple, recorded by John. I’ve read it in the NKJV and the NAS, and now I’m reading it in the Message (oh dear theologians, forgive me) and the good OLD Living Bible. Jesus begins to explain how He and God the Father work together. He talks about salvation and judgment. The part about this teaching I always liked was that He confirms that Moses indeed wrote the Torah, the first five books. Many scholars say that this part of the Word was just oral tradition until the days of Nehemiah, that Moses did not actually write it. If Jesus said Moses wrote it, than Moses wrote it. And many say that the Old Testament is not relevant to Christianity. Yet Jesus says in John 5:47 If you don’t believe in the writings of Moses, how can you believe in His words. I was part of a Wednesday evening Bible study for a while. We were just beginning the book of Romans, and in the introduction the teacher, who I respect, got into this whole theological explanation of how the Bible was written and made the statement that Moses had not actually written the Torah. I didn’t want to argue with him, or correct him. At least not in the presence of the rest of the class. He is a leader in our church and I have submitted to his authority. I discussed it with my husband on the way home. Although my husband is a licensed pastor, for this season, in this fellowship, he is not in leadership. He did bring this up to the teacher, who is a brother and a friend. But the teacher was offended. We just stopped going to the study, but I am wondering if we should have been bolder. We like the church we are going to. The senior pastor has an apostolic vision for the Navajo Nation which is solid, his teaching is grounded in the Word of God, and the worship is dynamic, prophetic. We have family in this church. Although we are not Navajo we feel welcome and loved. Although Art is a pastor in another denomination, we do not feel that we are supposed to be planting a new church. This area does not need another church. But we are feeling that we need to be doing something more for the Kingdom. And we feel that we need to be careful not to offend…which may be holding us back. God, give us wisdom!

Answers to Flip's Tag...Thanks for asking.

Three screen names I've had: Bernadette, Puff, ME
Three things you like about yourself: I'm fiesty, I'm a good friend, I'm a great teacher!
Three things I don't like about myself: I'm fat, I watch too much TV, I say mean things to my husband.
Three parts of my heritage: Italian, German, Cree
Three things that scare me: That Calvinists might be right, That I might have a stroke (heart attacks don't scare me, but stokes do), Making telephone calls.
Three of your everyday essentials: caffine, writing, quiet time with the Lord.
Three things you are wearing right now: A "Passion Play" tee shirt, Sweatpants, beaded earings.
Three of my favorite songs: Don Fransico's "He's Alive", Beatles, Hey Jude, Rock With Wings, NO MORE!
Things I want in a relationship: Honesty, Respect, Hugs
Two truths and a lie: (not necessarily in that order?) I am a compulsive gambler, I used to be a Magicians Assistant, I wanted to be a nun when I was a little girl.
Three things I can't do without: My grandson, Television, Coffee (let me go pour another cup)
Three places you want to go on vacation: Tibet, Israel, Alaska
Three things you just can't do: Sew, Knit, Jog (couldn't even jog when I was in shape, I thought it was boring)
Three kids names: Johanna Dawn, Arthur, Jeremiah
Things you want to do before you die: Own a cabin in the woods. Minister to the mothers of felons, Write a book.
Three celeb crushes: Jeff Goldblum, Jackie Chan, Paul McCartney
Three people you want to know these things about: the only ones i can think of are too intellectual to answer these "silly" questions, or else they aren't blogged in.

Healings

I don’t believe I am writing these things. Is it a sort of therapy? Will it do any good? So far, the first two entries have seemed to make my mood darker. The TV preacher in the back ground is talking about healing, saying that it is a sure thing. If you have faith, you will be healed. He’s not the first one today that has declared this. How dare they? My dear friend says that every verse in the Bible means what it says. These guys are quoting scripture, emotionally, to an enthusiastic audience. He just said that this was going to be a “Spirit filled, anointed teaching, straight from the Bible.”
I can read it for myself. James 5:14-16. Is anyone among you sick? Let him call for the elders of the church and let them pray over him…the Lord will raise him up…so that you may be healed. What about Joni Erickson Tada?
What about Sandy, Teresa, and Celeste?
Sandy was a twin. Her sister Erica was in my first grade class at a Christian School. Sandy was in a wheel chair. She was blind, had no language, a severe case of CP caused by doctor error. I only saw her a few times. It was the era of the Toronto Blessing, and the church that sponsored the school brought down an evangelist to share the blessing with the locals. A three night event turned into an eight day affaire with holy laughter, holy barking, and healings. I did not attend. I was a United Methodist at the time. Sandy’s family went every night. Each morning in school, Erica seemed tired and sad. About midweek she came up to my desk and put her head on my shoulder. I asked her what was wrong and she told me that they had gone to church again, and the whole family went forward for prayer. She said that her dad fell down, and her mom fell down, and her 3rd grade brother fell down, so, as she put it “I had to fall down too.” But Sandy still wasn’t healed. What do you say to a six year old, who is learning that God is Love, and God answers prayer?
Teresa was a normal three year old, until her father, in a drunken rage, threw her against a wall and caused severe spinal cord damage. She was adopted by a loving and faithful Christian family. I met her when she was in High School. She is a beautiful young woman, but her body, from the waist down is dead. She had been prayed over several times. She and her adopted mother had received a word of prophecy that she would walk down the aisle at her graduation and someday she would dance at her own wedding. She gets around remarkably well. She drives a big ol’ pick up truck outfitted with hand controls. She’s taking courses at the local college, but she is still in the chair. Where is her healing?
Celeste. Some day I will dance on the streets that are golden with this sweet young lady. Every week at Church, I whisper in her ear, “Some day Celeste, we will dance together. And she acknowledges our little secret with a great big smile. Her father is a widower, a great man of faith. When he is worshiping the LORD you can see the glory of God shining through him. And when he carries Celeste from the van to the church you can see the compassion of Jesus. Celeste has no language, and is fed by a feeding tube.
Last summer we were at a camp meeting. Our church was leading worship, and it was outstanding, prophetic, and dynamic. The speaker was one of those Charismatic types, pacing, shouting, sweating…and he spoke of healing. Celeste was sleeping in the van. The evangelist invited people who needed healing to come forward. He laid hands on them and prayed, many of them were slain in the Spirit. Celeste’s dad seemed to hesitate, but as the frenzy built he went to get Celeste, put her in her chair and pushed her up front. The evangelist didn’t even seem to see her. He did not come over to them, he did not lay his hands on her or anoint her with oil, she was not healed.
What do we say? Maybe if their faith was stronger. Maybe there is a problem of secret sin. Maybe they aren’t good enough. Maybe healing is only for the very few select, elect, and predestined. Early in my walk with the Lord I had a friend, younger in the LORD than I was, call me in tears.
Her little girl was sick. Actually it was just a cold. But she was miserable and kept her mom up all night. The mom had prayed for her, but it hadn’t seemed to help any. My friend sobbed to me, “I must not really be saved.
The guy on the radio says that if you are saved, and if you believe, God will answer every prayer and heal the sick.” What do we say? And mustn’t we be very careful about what we do say?

Prophecy

I was raised a Roman Catholic. When my first marriage broke up I got mad at God. The priest who tried to comfort me by assuring me that I could get an annulment through the church only made me madder. I believed in “til death do us part” and I didn’t want out of the marriage, no matter how abusive it was, I wanted God to change my husband and restore my marriage…ask and you shall receive and all that.
For the next 5 years I was lost in the dark, looking for truth in all the wrong places. Then I was born again. I said yes to a personal relationship with Jesus. I read the Bible with earnest, listened to such greats as Chuck Swindoll, Chuck Smith, James MacArthur, Keith Green and Don Fransisco.
And I married Art.
It took my husband (also a baby Christian) and I a while to figure out that we needed to be part of a church, and even longer to find the right church for our family. We started fellowshipping and serving at Grace United Methodist Church in 1981. Our pastor was an old time preacher who had gone to a “Good News Conference” after over 20 years of service to God, and got saved. When we became part of the church, the Spirit was really moving there. I’ll challenge anyone who says that the Holy Spirit can’t or won’t move through a UMC.
That was where Art was called into the ministry. The call was confirmed by the church and as a family we began the long process to ordination. During this time, the United Methodist denomination was becoming more and more liberal in its teachings, but in our Church Jesus was still LORD and sin was still sin. We were attending a Free Methodist college, Free Methodism is more fundamental and Bible based than is United Methodism, but it is Armenian, as opposed to Calvinistic. Periodically Art had to meet with the ordination board, to go over his progress and his plans. In 1989 he was assistant to the pastor of a small church in a small town, and we were making plans to move down to Kentucky in a year or so to go to seminary.
The board insisted that Art should go to a more liberal seminary, that he needed his convictions stretched. They were opposed to the stand that he took against Abortion and Homosexuality. Calling sin sin was being intolerant and unloving, and we all know that God is love! It came to the point where Art had to compromise or quit. Quitting would mean totally rethinking our future. The United Methodist Denomination takes good care of its own. The salary and benefits can’t be beat. We were looking forward to a secure future, but now, if we were to stay true to our Faith and Convictions we would have to walk away from that promise.
Did I call this piece “Prophecy” ? I just took a break and thought no one is going to read this. It’s too long, but like I said, it’s a sort of therapy for me I think…anyway, on to the prophesy.
So, there we were, 2 young sons, having to move out of our home because Art had to resign from his job, we hadn’t had time to save up much money, and we didn’t even know where to go to church on Sunday. Well, I was working at a Christian school and the Church that sponsored the school wasn’t very far from where we were saving, so we decided to visit there one Sunday. They asked for visitors to stand up at the beginning of the service, and I was welcomed by many co-workers and the parents of some of my students. Then the service began. They had a guess speaker that week, a missionary, and I sat back expecting to hear a typical “mission life” talk.
But after introductions, as the speaker began, he motioned to Art and I and asked us to stand up. He explained that he usually didn’t do this sort of thing, but that he has a very strong feeling that the LORD would have him tell us something. He spoke about how we were going through a hard time that seemed to be caused by religious leaders; that we had made the right decision, but that didn’t make the resulting refiners fire any easier to take. He told us that God was allowing this to happen to us for a reason and that we shouldn’t doubt the calling on our lives. He went back to his planned message, but interrupted it 2 more times, to clarify the message to us, to be sure we understood the message. He said Art was called into the ministry, and that he’d be a prophet evangelist, but that his ministry wouldn’t be one of those big time deals, it would be more of a one on one evangelism. And worse of all, he said, this wouldn’t be the last time we went through this. We would be rejected by other churches, people who we fellowshipped with would turn their backs on us. People who we submitted to as Spiritual Leaders would say and do things that would hurt and discourage. He was right. I mentioned my catholic and our United Methodist back ground to show that this kind of “word of knowledge” was not familiar to us. Where as some of the people in the church knew our situation, it was unknown to the speaker. It was very real and very exciting, and it is one of those things I remember, I muse over, when things seem to be getting darker and darker with no sign of relief in sight. Four years ago, when the Free Methodist Denomination closed down their church in Farmington, we were in that place again. And in my prayer journal I wrote, how many times do we have to go through this? Then I found Psalm 12:6 “the words of the LORD are pure words, as silver tried in a furnace on the earth, refined seven time”
SEVEN TIMES! Lets see, 1. The United Methodist 2. The Free Methodist in Rochester 3. A nondenominational church in Rochester. 4. Our Church in Colorado. 5. The American Indian Bible Ministries in Farmington, 6. The Free Methodist Church in Farmington. 7. This crisis with Ardy, my son who is currently in prison as a Sex Offender, and the resulting rejection that our family experienced by several local churches as well as nonbelievers…that fire has been burning for 3 years…and I am tempted to say, our life has been a big joke, we have failed in ministry, and I can not…Abba, this is too hard.
I keep thinking, Art will be home soon, and it won’t be for 5 days. He should be in a cabin by one of the many lakes in Minnesota. I wish I could have gone too.

Angels

When this whole thing began with my son; his hidden sin exposed, his life in ruins, our family shaken to the core…I had a very interesting experience with angels. We went to a conference in Durango Colorado, about an hour away from where we live. The church had brought in people from IHOP (not the pancake house, the International House of Prayer,) and they did some Harp and Bowl worship, which does not involve harps or bowls, but it’s hard to explain. Thursday night I was blessed, but not really filled up.
Friday night the message was very meaningful to me, and I knew that the LORD was using it to help me. I went forward for prayer, I stood in the front and poured out my heart with my tears. But I noticed that people on all sides of me were being prayed for. Some were lying on the floor, some where kneeling as prayer warriors were laying hands on them. No one seemed to notice me. I stood alone. And Jesus said, never mind them, this is between you and me, who do you need me to be right now? Lord, I said, I am the woman who is burying her son, I am at his grave crying, Oh Lord, my son, my son. And I need to you raise him up for me. I was assured that his life would be restored to something much better than it was before…
But Lord, I asked, why isn’t anybody praying for me? And he said, because I’ve set two big angels at your side, one to the left and one to the right, so no one will bother you, because this time is for you and me…
The next night someone came up and gave me a big hug, she said she had noticed me, and was going to come up to me, but she had a “check” in her spirit, that Jesus and I were dealing with something and she shouldn’t interfere. It would have been cooler if she had seen those big angels. Anyway, I wrote down in my Bible, to remember the angels at harp and bowl when things got too rough. To remember that they were real, that He is real, that it will be OK.
Yes, LORD, I'm trying!

More on Psalm 143

The enemy hath persecuted my soul;
Therefore is my spirit overwhelmed within me;
My heart within me is desolate;
My spirit faileth;
Bring my soul out of trouble;
Destroy all them that afflict my soul;
The enemy hunted me down,
He kicked me and stomped me with in an inch of my life
He put me in a black hole
I sat in despair, my spirit draining away
My heart heavy like lead.
I’m nearly at the end of my rope.
That is the old and new of it. Psalm 143 from the KJV and Message.
I just copied the bad verses, the sad verses, the Oh My God verses!
Know what they tell me? They tell me it’s ok to complain. It’s ok to Lament.
It’s nothing new. When I feel this way, I am in good company.
It’s God’s way of saying, “I understand, really!”
It’s also His way of showing me just who is behind these feelings of depression and despair. I may get mad at people, but I only have one enemy.
So I pray against the father of lies. I pray against the deceiving spirit whose only real weapon is fear. I pour my coffee and I go out to my front deck,
“Let me hear Thy lovingkindness in the morning…”

Be Sure to Read the Next One Too

Somewhere out there in blog land there is a heretic who says that christians are intellectually irresponsible. I only call him a heretic because that is what he calls himself. Since I've been blogging, I myself have been called by some a heretic. It bothered me at first, not any more. But it does bother me that this person thinks that christians as a rule are intellectually irresponsible. I can see where he gets this idea...can't you. I think we need to be more careful. I think we need to be more aware of who is watching us. In a way, we are using the name of our LORD in vain when as followers of Christ we present ourselves as hypocrites who can't ever get along.

Meditation

In the King James Version, the one I read when I can't find my glasses, Psalm 143:5 says: I remember the days of old; I meditate on all thy works; I muse on the work of thy hands. Meditate? Muse?
Some groups of believers (at least they claim to be believers) are looking to the ancients, to the traditions of eastern mystics, to something other than the styles and methods of the western church to understand the mystery of meditation.
To others the very word "meditation" sets of the "new age" alarm.
The Contemporary English Version leaves out the words meditate and muse and simply says: "I remember to think about the many things you did in years gone by" In the Message, a favorite of the postmodern camp, it reads: I remembered the old days, went over all you've done, pondered the ways you've worked." What about the NIV, there has to be an NIV in here somewhere...ah yes, "I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done." Consider instead of Muse. I like the words meditate and muse. My favorite Bible teacher in college, back in the 80's, recommended the New American Standard, as being most faithful to the original languages. In this case it reads almost the same as the KJV, except it uses the word doings instead of works. And the NAS study Bible at my left hand has references to the original meanings of the words meditate and muse...according to good ol' Strongs. Meditate means to murmur in pleasure or anger, imagine, mourn, mutter...sort of like a mantra...it definatly implies speaking of some kind. Muse means to ponder, to converse with ones self, to declare, to pray. David, who I will assume wrote this particular Psalm, spent a good deal of his time out doors. Many of the psalms are pastoral in that they have to do with God's glory as reflected in creation. In Psalm 143 the author is not only remembering the mighty deeds that God had performed in the past, the great signs and wonders, the many victories against all odds, but he is pondering on the beauty, the wonder, of creation..."the works of thy hands"
Which reminds me of Romans 1:20 "for the invisible things of Him from the creation of the world are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eteranl power and Godhead..."KJV
One thing I notice here, is that meditation means to think about, speak about, may I say, focus on the works of God, and the deeds of God. It does not mean to empty ones mind, but rather to fill it with the wonderful things of God.
It seems appropriate and understandable, that one might feel closer to God outside, by a stream, in the mountains, even in the desert (Psalm 143:6 - I stretch forth my hands unto thee: my soul thirseth after thee as a thrist land)
than in a church building. What happens in most church services that I attend does not provide any time for meditation or musing. Even the time at the alter is surrounded by music and other peoples' voices. I think people who talk about meditation are looking for quiet times. And I think that in the noisy world we live in, people are seeking a way to quiet their minds and souls long enough to focus on God. It is a skill we might have to learn, since in this postmodern world that we are living in, quiet is a rare thing. And some people are asking the ancients to teach them since the moderns don't even seem to understand the concept. So, light a candle, sit by a fountain, walk along a brook, or in a garden...and remember, meditate, muse on the Glory and Goodness of our LORD God. Do not seek to be empty, but rather seek to be filled. Seek and ye shall find!

Another Day to Waste

but life goes on...

Psalm 30:5

Weeping may last for the night, But a shout of joy comes in the morning.
Psalm 126:5
Those who sow in tears will reap with joyful shouting.
Ecclesiastes 3:2,4
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to weep and a time to laugh!
Thanks to everyone for your prayers and encouragement.
Amazing to make contact with someone from 10 years+ into my past.
So, this is what I told my best friend Bobbie.
Sometimes, when my three year old grandson gets really tired and really mad, I try to get him to sit on my lap and calm down. But he just gets madder. I try to talk to him, but he just yells louder. I long to hold him, to comfort him, but he will have nothing to do with soft words or gentle touches. So I have to step back and let the tantrum ride its course.
I think that’s the way it was with me early Sunday morning. I was tired…a good kind of tired, the kind that comes from doing Kingdom work. And the enemy bit me in my weakest spot. I threw a fit.
I was the “three year old” refusing to sit on Abba’s lap and be comforted.
I’m glad that Our Father, in Heaven, is patient and loving…
His lovingkindness endures forever!

Can't Sleep

It is nearly 2:00am and I can't sleep.
This has been a busy week. On the most part, a good week. A week of ministry, worship and prayer. We helped raise funds for Passion Play Ministries International (PPMI), the dance team I am on ministered at a woman's conference, we spent all day Saturday at Window Rock, the Navajo Nation's capitol, where we joined with our brothers and sisters and friends in a 8 hour prayer service, the Navajo Nation's Day of Prayer. We enjoyed a beautiful drive to and from, Shiprock to Window Rock. Friday I even found time to bake cupcakes with my grandchildren for the Father's Day Celebration at church. Only the grandchildren won't be at church for the celebration. Their mother has decided to punish their father for having a new "girlfriend" by not letting him take them to church. It's a long story. A sad story. My son and I were on the phone for an hour as he vented. He feels helpless, I feel helpless...
He ended the call by asking me to pray for him. I'm trying. But it's hard.
Love your enemies says our LORD. But it is hard. I rather pray like the psalms that call curses down on the enemy. I cry out to the LORD to free my grandchildren from captivity. Those people are not believers. They are... No, never mind...no details, no bad mouthing...How do I pray through this?
We are broke, with no income coming until September 1. It will be a long hot summer. My son is a pizza delivery boy. He doesn't have enough money for a lawyer. My other son being in prison complicates matters. I know I need to pray. It's all I can do. But how? Peace through this storm. Mercy to triumph over justice. Protection for my grandchildren as their parents and grandparents duke it out? Not my husband and me...we are just on the side lines...praying
But my son, and his ex wife, and her parents who technically have custody of Elijah and Amadaya. This could be the end of my even being able to see the kids. And they are using church and father's day to punish my son. But how am I supposed to pray about this????
Why pray???? Either this whole thing is part of God's great plan...and I must resign myself to His will and suffer through it. Or the free will of the non believers in this story will win out because God will not interfere with anyones free will. God knows what is best, and He will do what is best, whether I pray or not...this is too hard. this is too personal.
This was a good week, and it came to a crashing, slamming halt with the phone call from my son at midnight. I was about Kingdom business all week.
See what I wrote on Psalm 37?
I do not feel like the Bride of Christ, or a beloved child of my heavenly father.
I feel condemned, guilt ridden, and hopeless.
I want to ask, seek, knock, and be answered. I want signs and wonders and miracles and yes and amen.
enough of this whining. for some reason it seems easier these days to type my thoughts then to write them out in my prayer journal. and there are only about 8 pages left in my current journal anyway. But I think that is where I will spend the rest of this night/morning. I'll go sit on my deck, wrapped in a blanket, writing in my journal. I'll pray. I'll cry please daddy please! I'll listen for the first chirps of the morning bird song.
And maybe, on Monday or Tuesday I'll just delete this

Books????

(see Robby's blog from my links)
1. Number of Books I own?
Well the number of books in our office is about 400, the number in my "classroom library" which are actually mine is about 150 (some multiple copies). The number of books that I have collected for the grand kids about 75.
If I count my great grandmother's diaries (50+ years worth)and my prayer journals (over 25), the books we haven't unpacked since our last move, and the books that my sons have left behind I'd say just under 1000.
2. Last book I bought, this was for my special education class, I bought the book set and the book on tape and the video (which stinks): A Wrinkle in Time.
I also bought this very mushy sentimental picture book for the grand kids called "Love You Forever" (find it Mo, I'll bet it brings a tear to your eye).
3. Last book I've read (not counting the story books I read to Elijah and Amadaya or the Book of James from the Bible) Freak the Mighty with my class at school.
5. Five books that mean a lot to me.
Does the Book of Isaiah count? Angel Unaware by Dale Evans about their mentally handicapped child. I think it is out of print and I've lost my copy.
Strike the Original Match by Chuck Swindoll, it saved our marriage about 20 years ago. Piercing the Darkness by Peretti. A Framework for Understanding Poverty by Ruby Payne - must reading for teachers! The Chronicals of Narnia by CS Lewis.
Two major books when I was a kid. Honey Bunch, it was a brown "chapter book" that Nanny read to me...a chapter a night. I don't recall the story, but I remember the experience. Mr. Blue, I read it in high school, can't recall the author, but the story made me stop and think deeply about the meaning of life.

And who would I "tag" to put in their 2 cents concerning this?
Johanna and Bobbie (e-mail me your answers)
Art (he'll be more theological and acedemic than me)

right now I am reading a book called Morning Star by my son Ardy. I'm previewing and will begin preparing it for submission soon. It is a fantasy/allagory, pretty good if a mom may say so.

GRANDMA'S AGE

LITTLE ELIJAH ASKED HIS MENEE HOW OLD SHE WAS. MENEE ANSWERED, "39 AND HOLDING." ELIJAH THOUGHT FOR A MOMENT, AND THEN SAID, "AND HOW OLD WOULD YOU BE IF YOU LET GO?"

Psalm 36 - CEV

Two summers ago, I was walking through a quiet neighborhood in Farmington New Mexico, having a crisis in faith. My son's story had been in the papers again, and our landlord had notified us that he was raising our rent by $150 a month at the end of our lease and would prefer it if we moved. He didn't say it had anything to do with Ardy, but we figured it did. A Christian friend told us about a home for rent, but that rent turned out to be higher than we thought we could afford, and we didn't know how we were going to come up with security deposit and first months rent. So, I went walking and praying, but mostly I was complaining to God, how could He let this happen to us...again? I prayed for help...but I was not praying with much faith...
Then a song came to me, and I started to sing...I will lift my voice and worship you my King, I will find my strength in the shadow of your wings. I kew the song well, and I knew it was from Psalm 36. So I went home and prayed through the psalm. Last night's worship service ended with the same chorus.
And although our current land lord hasn't given the final word, it doesn't look good. We will most likely be in the same position at the end of this summer. And not only will we have to move, again, but Ardy will probably have to stay in prison, perhaps a year longer, because he won't be able to be parolled to us.
So this morning I turned again to Psalm 36. I'm reading it in the CEV because all my other Bibles are in my other son's car. I used them for children's church and left them there yesterday. The CEV isn't my favorite, but any port in a storm...
The heading of the psalm is "Human Sin and God's Goodness."
Sometimes I feel like a big sinner. I fall prey to the condemnation of the enemy and start to believe that I must be wicked in the eyes of YHWH or else my life wouldn't be so bad. After all, Proverbs says a lot of things like: "if you are wicked, God won't let you have what you want" 10:3, "but there is no future for the wicked" 10:28, "The Lord never hears the prayers of the wicked" 15:29."he frustrates the plans of the wicked" 22:12. And so on, so therefore, logically, since my life is so bad, then the Lord must consider me wicked, with out hope, with out redemption, predestined as it were, to a life of failure and hardships.
Then again, although I am far from perfect, by any measure, I'm not the kind of sinner described in Psalm 36 verses 1 - 4. Sin is not all I think about. And I do respect and honor God. I may stay awake worrying, but I don't stay awake thinking up mischief or planning my next deceit. I am not proud of my short comings, and when I do fall short of the grace of God, Ifeel remorse and pray as in Psalm 51. So back to Psalm 36, and the Love of God.
His love is faithful
His love is a treasure
His love always provides
a life giving fountain, a light in the darkest hour.
Dare I pray "don't let those proud, merciless people kick me around or chase me away." verse 11.
May I atleast pray for Mercy, Wisdom, Peace...
This will be a Good Week
A week of worship and ministry.
Today there is Worship and Dance Team practice.
Tomorrow and Wednesday Pastor Art and I are helping with the Passion Play (PPMI) phone-a-thon, and the Worship team is recording Tuesday. Thursday morning the Dance Team is opening a Woman's conference, and we're dancing there Friday night as well. Saturday Pastor Art and I will be in Window Rock Arizona, the capitol of the Navajo Nation for their National Day of Prayer. Sunday is Father's day and the women of our church are planning a traditional dinner for the dads, ummm mutton!
So, one day at a time right? And to God be the glory!
Yes and Amen

Gateway of the Rock

Someday, when I am really energetic and focused, I will write a summary of the ministry that my hubby Pastor Art and I have been involved in. I hesitate because it isn't much of a success story. We are still very much about doing Kingdom work, but at present our "ministry" is little more than a blog site...
Gateway of the Rock on my links...
But the grandkids will be here soon. If you've read me at all, you know how much I look forward to that!
Blessings!

Sometimes you just have to laugh (LOL)

A priest, a Pentecostal preacher and a rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to do a seven-day experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear and preach to it.Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the experience. Father O'Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages, goes first."Wellll," he says, in a fine Irish brouge, "Ey wint oot into th' wooods to fynd me a bearr. Oond when Ey fund him Ey began to rread to him from the Baltimorre Catechism. Welll, thet bearr wanted naught to do wi' me und begun to slap me aboot. So I quick grrabbed me holy water and, THE SAINTS BE PRAISED, he became as gentle as a lamb. The bishop is cooming oot next wik to give him fierst communion und confierrmation."Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he proclaimed, "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle...WE DUNK! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to him from God's HOOOOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. I SAY NO! He wanted NOTHING to do with me. So I took HOOOLD of him and we began to rassle. We rassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we come to a crick. So I quick DUNK him and BAPTIZE his hairy soul. An' jus like you sez, he wuz gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's HOOOOLY word."They both look down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him.The rabbi looks up and says, "Oy! You don't know what tough is until you try to circumcise one of those creatures."

Ecclesiastes

Meaningless, meaningless, says the teacher, Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless. (Chapter 1 verse 2). Anybody else ever feel like this?
Oh Solomon, you were so wise, we honor you for your wisdom. How could you have fallen so hard? Then again, look at your own father. A real hero of faith, and look what he fell into. The first verse was from the NIV, here is the way the book concludes in the KJV: Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter. Fear God and keep His comandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good of whether it be evil. Chapter 12: 13,14.
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven...
but I've been wasting alot of time lately!
Today it is time for me to read and write...
blog on my friends...

Why Pray?

I wrote this one before, in April, and I'm right back there again, emotionally and spiritually. Ouch! Life hurts so bad some times.
Again, my Heavenly Father says to me, "I love you child, but..."
Instead of "yes and amen", I got yet another, "Sorry, no!"
And I am so afraid that my landlady is going to make us move, now that I have informed her that my son, who will be getting out of prison, will be living with us for a while. We will have no place to live and he will have no place to be parolled to so he will have to stay in longer...
I saw Star Wars yesterday, and I really sympathized with Darth Vader...