i'm too old for this...

needing another financial miracle, again and always money matters eat my brain...Art needs a job...looking to no avail...we're trying to sell some sound equipment. Today LORD, please, it would solve the immediate crisis. Sigh! Prayer! TV! Maybe if our last name was Richman instead of Broke-up we would be doing better.

so, there is a chance that we may be able to move into a teacherage - like a pasonage but for teachers on the Rez. About 1/2 the rent we are paying now, no utilities, no commute, still - far from RD and Miah, and ugly...no yard, no trees, and I so love our beautiful but too expensive home in farmington.  it makes me sad...

LORD - give me grace and wisdom and give us this day our daily bread!

Christ Has Risen!

 We celebrated the resurrection of our LORD and Savior with Christ Church Saturday evening. It was an exciting service! Starting with the lighting of the Pascal Fire, complete with a mother and daughter being baptized and the decorating of the Cross. We announced the Resurrection with the blowing of the Shofar (blown by Art) and the ringing of bells.  I wish my family had been there with me. But all things considered it was a blessed Holiday season. Passover with my sons and two of my grandchildren. 2 Easter egg hunts with the grandkids, the service last night and a restful Sunday. I even have one more day off from school for Navajo Nation Sovereignty Day. April Showers, fresh flowers, the song of birds and church bells on the wind. Peace overcoming stress. The goodness of God overcoming the idiocy of mankind. Here are some images of Father Carl and Barbie, and the cross.

A mother's broken heart...

Sometimes I wonder,
and then I realize, no - this will never end.
Not until our LORD returns.
There is an unforgivable sin - not unforgivable by the One who bore all our sins on the cross...but man, even the Church will not forgive. A sinner who can never be redeemed, a leper who can never be made clean.
That is the way the world, even the church sees him.
Not the way Jesus sees him.
I wonder, how much more rejection he can bare.
And there is a physical pain in my heart and tears in my eyes and I want to lash out.
God!  I hate this so much!

Passover

I took a personal day today. Praying that the LORD will bless Mr. Buck, my sub. He is a godly gentleman. And the students don't like him because he is "mean". He is a grandfather/elder who demands their respect.
I slept in, and it is time now to get about the business of the day...some thoughts from my morning devotion, as Art sings his beautiful songs that no one will ever hear...
Jesus - Yahshua - our Passover Lamb - our High Priest that understands our weaknesses - and His cross that shows for all time, once and for all, how serious sin is to Yahweh. He has restored us though the Potters nailed scared hands, He has inscribed us on the palms of His Hands. Someone once asked what they thought was a very deep and philosophical question. Can man (humankind) hurt the Almighty God? Can a child hurt their parent? Does our disobedience hurt our Creator? Just look at the cross. Can we see how deeply and literally our rebellion, our selfishness, our stubbornness and greed, our perversion, our violence against each other hurts our God?
Our LORD is trying to get our attention. It doesn't seem anyone is listening. A few crazies with sandwich boards proclaiming the end is near perhaps. Some Tele-evangelists who are still offering one way tickets to paradise for a faith offering, might be using scare tactics to increase their income. But, as in the days of Noah, life goes on.
And I have chores to do...
Here is one of my favorite, all time pictures. A flash from my past. The most intense experience of my life. So grateful for having had the experience. Have a blessed Holy Week!

Palm Sunday

Stupid secular calendar. I'm taking Tuesday off for Passover and cooking a pseudo Sader for the boys to be served at sundown, but it should be tomorrow at sundown which is when Passover for the year 5771 begins. Our prayer will be the Sabbath prayer from Fiddler on the Roof. We can't quite get Tziporah to say the questions...we'll settle for "Why?"  Why indeed. But I guess the questions I'm asking most are "Why nots and Why didn'ts" This morning I was up early, with my coffee and my Bible and praying through Psalms 22, 27, and 37. Last night we went to Christ Church - we celebrated Palm Sunday. I think we will be going there for a while. Fr. Carl is really the only one that has consistently sought us out and been our friend through everything. I am hoping that Jeremiah, Stacy, Elijah, Amadaya, Tziporah and Ethan will come to the Easter Saturday Vigil next week. I think I will go to Passion Play on Wednesday - maybe Friday. Being part of Passion Play got us through some hard times in years past. But we've been slighted, offended the past couple of years. I guess I was hoping we would be missed, and perhaps contacted to see if we were ok. We aren't really. But now I feel as if the absence of the Brokops this year was met with more of a "good riddance" if anyone missed us at all.  This should be an easy week for me at work. Tuesday off, Wednesday half day for students, no school Friday...Good Friday. And its a four day weekend for us because Monday is Navajo Nation Sovereignty day. Which gives me yet another 4 day week. School is rapidly coming to another end. Drama club is working on "A Midsummer Night's Dream"
If anyone really reads these ramblings...anyone besides Bobbie, Hi Bobbie...and probably my sister Jo...maybe Bethany? Anyway...whoever might take time...oh yeah Von too...who else? I never know...anyway,  if you, whoever you are would pray for us...pray that Art gets on the Sub list at Central Consolidated and is able to put in at least 10 days before the end of the school year...he's been trying for months and there is a snag in the system somewhere. We really doubt we'll have another opportunity to minister full time like before. Too many failures, too much frustration. Art needs a job. We can't afford to live in this lovely house much longer. A prayer that the LORD will help us find a new, affordable home, perhaps closer to Shiprock would also be appreciated.
Today I'll be watching the grandkids for a while, and I have to do my taxes, and grade papers, and do a little of house work, except I will be do some major cleaning on Tuesday. So that is all I have to say right now.
May the LORD have mercy on fools like me...And may He bless us, everyone. 

Sunday

Spring Time in the Four Corners - Wind howling, church bells ringing in the distance. Throwing my thoughts to the wind, throwing my thoughts to the world wide web! How close are we to the end? How ready are we for his arrival?
Fear?
Not at all.
Urgency?
No more than usual.
We are going to a birthday party today! Fry Bread and Laughter. Glory be to the LORD of the Wind!