Eli
Blessed are those who mourn – for they shall be comforted.
To everything there is a time, and a season for everything under heaven.
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
Friends of mine just lost an infant grandson. Since my own little nephew passed into Jesus’ arms over 25 years ago, I’ve often reflected that the death of a child has to be the most faith shaking experience of all. Whether the baby lived only a few hours like little Eli, or a few years like little Nicky, it has to be one of the hardest things a person, especially a mother, has to endure.
I was thinking about that during my devotions yesterday, and thinking of the babies I know of personally, whose mortal lives were so very short.
When Nicky was nearly the end of his battle against Leukemia, I remember lamenting to our God, who clearly said “Ask and you shall receive…what so ever you ask in My Name…” but He will miss so much, and hearing the LORD say to my heart, “but he will be spared so much” and I remember praying, “LORD, he will be scared when it happens, will you hold him for a while, ‘til he gets used to this new place?” Then I thought how stupid that prayer was. How many babies die at any given moment? How could God have time to rock each one? And the LORD said to my heart, “Maryellen, never limit Me to your understanding of time, I will rock Nicky as long as he wants.” It occurs to me now that in some way our Heavenly Father might still be rocking him. And Eli, and little Emily. Little Emily was my best friend’s grand-daughter. She was born with a multitude of problems, and everyone knew she wouldn’t last very long. I got to hold her days before she passed on. I whispered in her little ear “give Jesus a big hug for me when you see Him.” It was a strangely peaceful experience, knowing that this little angel, sleeping in my arms, was soon going to be in the presences of God, in His heavenly kingdom. I suppose the question often comes up in such circumstances, when surely the parents and grandparents and friends of the families, especially in all these cases when the babies were born into families that were “Believers”, prayed for a miracle – why didn’t God say yes? Why didn’t He heal? Surely death wasn’t part of His original plan. Surely He is able to heal the sick, even raise the dead. It is hard, nearly impossible for some, to simply sigh and say “Thy will be done.” I just don’t know. I do know that God is Love, and death is not the end of things, and Heaven is a wonderful place. I know that life is hard. I know that 7 minutes or 70 years of life, its so short compared to eternity. I think of little Eli, fearfully and wonderfully formed within his mother’s womb, a few breaths of our air and heaven bound. No reasons, no excuses, no what-ifs will make a bit of difference. So I mourn with those who mourn, and I trust the LORD who counts our tears, and I know blessings will come and peace that passes understanding. I saw a thunderstorm in the mountains today – The God of glory thunders, and I saw a rainbow – God keeps His promises. And I said a prayer for my friends…and I think of little children dancing in Heaven and I smile.
